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Description
i miss what we all never had
forged out of a hurtful situation
i just have to learn that mutual hurt doesn't form friendships
but instead forms attachment issues that are more toxic than anything

it explains why you stuck around and the others are not
because you never shared that hurt with me
but oh boy did i make you hurt me
in my own head, you tore me to pieces

i can't even look at you dear, my eyes will fill with tears

this numbness isnt happiness like i used to tell myself
no, i can't fool myself into feeling things that arent there
i feel nothing
i am in a mindless routine
and there is nothing anyone could do to help me

so i am not pretending to swim in an ocean of sand
but rather accepting that i am drowning
in a quicksand pit
instead of pretending it is water

you made me want to believe it was such
to live, try to be someone you can be proud of
but you'll never read this, i know
because you never look at anything i post

you won't comment even if i leave them open
you never message me first
you don't really care, and you never really will

but i'll always care so deeply about you because
you were not someone i got along with in mutual hurt
but because of coincidental timing
and chemistry that was just there

the other two are gone from my head
my heart isnt 'set' on you, for you found your soulmate
but i have a sentiment about you
and i don't want to lose you too.

i can remind you of those people
with bitter tastes in our mouths
but please do not forget
the loveliness we shared

don't leave me again
i don't think i could take it
you'll know if this is for you
because frankly, to me

it feels like it truly is the end of the fucking world
and i'm grasping at strings
to make something of the mess that all started because of me
because i wanted connection with people
and im praying this last time isnt too much to ask of my life

i wish i hadn't had asked for anything back then
just kept my mouth shut
probably killed myself back then
because everything would have been better

everyone would have been happier

Description
i miss what we all never had
forged out of a hurtful situation
i just have to learn that mutual hurt doesn't form friendships
but instead forms attachment issues that are more toxic than anything

it explains why you stuck around and the others are not
because you never shared that hurt with me
but oh boy did i make you hurt me
in my own head, you tore me to pieces

i can't even look at you dear, my eyes will fill with tears

this numbness isnt happiness like i used to tell myself
no, i can't fool myself into feeling things that arent there
i feel nothing
i am in a mindless routine
and there is nothing anyone could do to help me

so i am not pretending to swim in an ocean of sand
but rather accepting that i am drowning
in a quicksand pit
instead of pretending it is water

you made me want to believe it was such
to live, try to be someone you can be proud of
but you'll never read this, i know
because you never look at anything i post

you won't comment even if i leave them open
you never message me first
you don't really care, and you never really will

but i'll always care so deeply about you because
you were not someone i got along with in mutual hurt
but because of coincidental timing
and chemistry that was just there

the other two are gone from my head
my heart isnt 'set' on you, for you found your soulmate
but i have a sentiment about you
and i don't want to lose you too.

i can remind you of those people
with bitter tastes in our mouths
but please do not forget
the loveliness we shared

don't leave me again
i don't think i could take it
you'll know if this is for you
because frankly, to me

it feels like it truly is the end of the fucking world
and i'm grasping at strings
to make something of the mess that all started because of me
because i wanted connection with people
and im praying this last time isnt too much to ask of my life

i wish i hadn't had asked for anything back then
just kept my mouth shut
probably killed myself back then
because everything would have been better

everyone would have been happier