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Birth, Death, and Rebirth: the cycle of pain

I was deafened again with the sound of that 130mm cannon going off in my ear. The noise dampener must have blown out from the rocket earlier. I came out of the football juke to slam my fist into the side of the barrel. The force caved it in slightly, making the gun useless to fire. But, still they swung towards me. Then I remembered them the T-127 had an auto loading cannon and the sight was on the other side of it. I started running away as soon as the gun leveled. This wouldn’t be pretty.
I felt the blast push me and I looked behind me. They must have taken the safety off a high explosive shell, because the turret was sitting at an odd angle on the chassis and the tank was no longer moving. The barrel looked like a banana peel. The concussion must have killed the crew. Better luck next lifetime guys. I ran towards another tank and pulled open the engine compartment. I placed a grenade by the fuel feed and scooted. It blew up, catching the engine on fire and limiting that tanks abilities. Now it was a pill box. Nina ended that really quick with a shot to the magazine on the back of the turret.
I saw another start to take aim with the Gatling cannon. A command model, with a second turret and an extra crew man. That gun was going to hurt a lot. It spun up and chewed the ground where I was. I ran for cover trying to figure a way in. then, two bolts hit the tank square on. They looked like solid chunks of lightning and they melted the armor right off the side. The micro machines must have been fried because they didn’t activate. Fifty cal. fire chewed up what was left like it was sheet metal.
I started to look for another target. Every Chinese soldier left alive was either fleeing or surrendering. I jogged over to Doc. That’s when it happened. The battery hit .09% and I stopped. The emergency system took over and opened the suit. My chest felt like it was on fire, my lungs filling with the horrid smells of the battle. Then a sharp pain hit my chest, right around my heart. I fell out of my suit and landed hard on the ground. I saw Doc and the Captain running to me. Then I blacked out.
I came too for a bit, and saw the Captain and Doc out of their suits, working on me. I saw Nina and Manx still in gear, handling our defense. The Captain was saying something into the coms and Doc was yelling at me. I couldn’t hear what she was saying though. I was in an amazing amount of pain and I couldn’t move at all. At least they were all safe. I closed my eyes and tried to smile. Not sure if I succeeded though.
I woke again, being loaded on a retrieval ship. The Cap was right there, holding my hand and crying. There was an older man in a lab coat. It was the Professor. That long biker beard and bald head. He looked haggard and sad. I almost didn’t recognize him. The Captain turned and said something to him, almost hysterical. It looked like ‘please daddy’. Must be my imagination. I fell unconscious again.
I don’t know how long I was out, but the dreams seemed to go on forever. I saw the whole team. Not at once, mind you. There were others too. Doc and her family playing on the beach at Lake Milford. Then it was Nina, Manx, Kat, and ruby, Manx’s girlfriend, shopping in the mall, beckoning me to hurry over to look at something. Then it went to Max’s house. He, Randy, Sage, the Captain and I were all around the poker table. The captain was smoking a cigar. I don’t know why, she is full cyborg. Not like it does anything. I cleaned house again, and max said something about not inviting me, about the devils luck helping me. Then it jumped to Saul and Frank drinking beers with me at my place. We just finished modifying the 35mm for them. Franks wife was in the pool, and Ginger and Salvatore were grilling. Then it was Sully and Cord checking out the new missiles they were testing on the range. Then to Sam, throwing darts at the bar. She beat the others again, and some asshat was drunk enough to pick a fight. Her husband Bruno tossed the guy out. Then Mike working on his bike in the drive. We lived in the same duplex. Then there was Sacha. He and I walking in the park. His smile as we talked about the future. Taking him shopping. I just got that ring too. Was supposed to meet him for dinner when we got back. I was going to ask him. I was going to ask. But I can’t. Not now. I didn’t come back. I’ll never hold him as he cries again. Never wake early to watch him sleep next to me. The Captain was going to be my best man. She even started to plan a stag party.
I woke up. White everything. I could turn my head a bit. There were flowers by the window. Someone was sleeping in the chair. All I saw was a mess of long blonde hair. There was someone on my other side holding my hand. I turned and looked. I saw Sacha, his mop of dark curls framing his sleeping face. He was in a chair next to the bed, head next to my hand in his. I moved my fingers a little and brushed his cheeks. He smiled and stirred a bit.
“That tickles Drevon.” He smiled again and then sat up with a start. I smiled weakly at him.
“Hi baby. Did I sleep too late?” I managed a hoarse whisper. My mouth felt like I had eaten sand.
He just started crying and kissed my hand. I managed enough strength to caress his cheek. “You slept for a week. Me and Naomi have been here the whole time. Naomi, wake up. He is awake.”
The mess of blonde hair started to stir and I saw the Captain. I’m not used to her hair loose, but it was good to see her. “Had me worried bud.”
“Sorry momma. You know I’m the problem child.” she just smiled and I looked back at Sacha. Now was a good time. I wonder if she had it on her. I got Sacha to get me some water first.
“Naomi, do you have the box?” I heard a rustling of leather as she searched her coat. Then the little velvet box was put in my hand. “Thanks boss. Baby?” I cupped his cheek and brought him closer. “Would you marry me?” I handed him the box and he was speechless. He started crying and hugged me. It hurt a lot, so I was in bad shape. But I tried to tough it out for him.
“Drevon Mueller, I would be delighted to marry you.” He kissed me again and pulled the ring out and put it in my hand. Then he helped me slip it on to his finger. There was a trio of small stones on a silver band. The center was a ruby, signifying love and passion. On either side was a square cut onyx, symbolizing protection. He knew it was us protecting our love.
We were snapped out of our moment by a polite cough at the door. When we looked it was the Professor and a doctor.
“Did we interrupt something?” Sacha stood straight up. He worked for the Professor in the R&D department. He was a program specialist.
“Sir, Drevon just asked me to marry him.” He blushed as he said it. But he smiled brightly. “I said yes.”
“Well then congratulations are in order mister Dubrinsky. Or is it going to be Mueller now?” he came over and patted Sacha on the back and patted my shoulder.
“I think I’ll take Sacha’s name sir. My family doesn’t talk to me anymore.” Sacha knew my family was a bit backwards. They hated that I was gay, and they hated I was military. They left the country a few years back and went back to Europe, and I never heard from them again. It wasn’t much of a loss. Though I did miss my sisters and hoped they were ok. All three of us children were born here and had dual citizenships. Our parents were from Austria. Dad was an engineer who worked on West City. Mom was a good catholic house wife.
He nodded in understanding. “I’m glad this happened. It makes things easier. First though, the bad news Drake. Your body is completely shot. You will not be able to walk, have limited use of your arms, and your heart and lungs need replaced.” Shit. He had horrible bedside manner. But he did tell me straight up, which meant he had some good news.
“Well, that’s pots, but what’s this silver lining you got sir.” He just smiled. Hey, no one said I was dumb. I worked almost directly for the guy. He came out personally with the upgrade teams. You learn his tells after a while.
“Remind me to play poker with you sometime. We have a full prosthesis available for you. Same specs as Naomi over there. Full use and senses as your normal body, but stronger and faster, also very durable.” I was still trying to wrap my mind around him calling the Captain by her name. Then it struck me the gravity of what he said. A mil-spec prosthetic body. That meant if I left the military I had to change bodies or go work for a government agency. Also meant things would get expensive. The surgery alone was a massive cost. It wasn’t covered by public medical, yet.
“What’s the catch sir?” I saw the look on Sacha’s face. He was calculating things in his head.
“You re-up for 6 or more years, we pay everything.” Sacha went pale. We had been talking about me leaving the military soon. I even was talking to his dad about coming and working an exoskeleton for his shipping company.
“We need to discuss this alone please” he looked at Naomi too when he said that. She got up and hugged him as she left, her height dwarfing his small frame. The doctor and Professor left. I could hear her arguing with him. She shouldn’t do that, but she would never listen.
He sat down and took my hand. He was scared of losing me. He wanted me to have a safer job at home, where I wouldn’t be shot at. I understood his worries.
“Do you want to do it?’’ he looked at me with tear filled eyes.
“Would you stay with me if I did?”
“Always, Drevon. I’m your shadow now. You will never lose me’”
“Then yes. You know I want to protect them too.”
“I know. It’s part of why I love you so much”
“Then shall we tell them?”
“Not yet. I want to be held for a bit.” And he climbed up next to me and I held him the best I could.
Sometime later the professor and the doctor were called back in. I told them I would do it and he got the doctor started on the basic prep work and ordered the prosthetic brought up in the manufacturing plant. They would need a laser scan of my body, then a week or two to make it. But it would look just like my body, and be fully functional.
I kissed Sacha again and he went to make some calls to his family. They were worried about me. They were good people, and Sacha’s brothers were old football buddies from high school. It was how we met, his brother Alexi introducing us. I thought about all of this, the five years we had been together. Now everything would come to a head. The legal wonks brought me the contract. I guess the Cap could hound anyone. It was a four year agreement with me coming to R&D for the last two as a test pilot. Sacha will love that. I signed, happy with the new changes.
Sacha came back in and I let him see the document. He looked it over and gave it his approval, after which I gave it to the intern. After that we were both tired. So he crawled up next to me and we slept. So now I just wait to get my body.