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and so my worst days begin again. this pain, it hasnt reared its head since november the tenth, twenty oh-seven. the day my family pretty much forgot i existed. the beast was yanking at its chains then, hungering for destruction. the difference is now i know its not evil.
but so much has happened since then. the monster was satiated, fed on lust, on sex. and i learned to love because of a beast i have always feared. i learned who i was, where i am in my life. ilearned to temper my trusting nature, that there are some truly wicked people out there. i met friends, i made allies, and i found my mate. thanks to a monster who i misunderstood.
this beast, a creature who seems only meant to destroy, has fast become a part of my life. he awakens every so often, demands his due, causes his peice of natures will, then he sleeps again. and he is awakening one more time. i feel his stirrings, his lust for destruction and sex.
i will feed the beast. for it is what i must do. he isn't evil. he is me. i am a son of chaos, a beast of havoc. i will help myself out. i must. i cannot go against my nature any longer.