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As I get older, I realize i trully never mellowed out. I still have the same intensity I always had, but now it has become focused, a sharp instrument with which I shall craft the world. Instead of blowing up and drawing attention in a useless manner, I now focus and draw attention to the things I think matter. In this way, my intense nature is becoming my strength, instead of the weakness I used to perceive.
I see things in a new light with this realization. i now know why my best friend told me i would make a good teacher. My deepest desire growing up was to help others. I was always trying to help the littler kids as I grew up, getting into fights to protect them from bullies, but this backfired and quickly became a thankless duty, as the smaller children became afraid of me, and the bullies became my friends. I got a lable stuck on me, as it turned out, just the first of many.
As my days grow longer, I start to reflect on the lessons that I learned the hard way. I feel I must pass my lessons on to the younger guys and gals of today. eight or ten years difference is an easier gap to bridge than twenty. So i will help those that are growing up without a good rolemodel.