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spawnathan — Pride
Published: 2002-01-02 10:04:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 102; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 15
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Description
With change comes riskand risk can bring fear,
fear faults us all.
If fear finds you there
or wherever you tread
know you can stand tall.
You went where life led,
so in this you take pride.
You didn't hide from change.
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Comments: 2
Wow a real message. Ive been searching for one amongst all the stuff ive been reading in this section. Have we just run out of inspiration or what? Good job going against the pride.
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I like the concepts underneath this. The way you border the poem with the word change is neat, kind of playing with the meaning of the word. Also, I think the poem flows pretty well, though I might consider getting rid of the second “and”, because it’s sort of awkward. I’ve never liked polysyndeton though, so that could be me. I’ll vaguely suggest that you could make this poem clearer, but overall, it’s not bad. Certainly a worthwhile message to consider.
Philosophe
As a well used day brings happy sleep, so a well used life brings happy death- Leonardo da Vinci
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