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Description
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Investigators of Spirit

a fanmade story

(Setting: about three months before Gabriel and Aileen sign up at the firm)

Dhelmise went into the investigation firm in the morning like he always did.
He was the last one there, as usual.
But he was certainly the last one to care.
"'Ey, mateys!" he greeted the rest of his team.
"Hello!" his boss, Lurantis, enthusiastically welcomed him.
"Hey, Dhelmise," Heracross waved.
"Yo," Excadrill gestured.
"Hey," Talonflame killed the mood with a half-bored jazz-wings.
"Aw, c'mahn, yer killin' me 'ere, T'lunflame!" Dhelmise moaned.
"What?" the bird Pokémon asked. "What'd I say this time?"
"It's wut ya DIDN'T say, fer once."
"Well, excuse me, what am I supposed to say then?"
"Ah dunno, sumth-"
"If you don't know, what're yo-"
"AH WAS ABUT T-"
"BOTH OF YOU," Lurantis intervened.
The two men shut up.
"Dear Arceus," she stated. "Fifteen years together and you two STILL can't get along. What's with that? Really, why won't you two just set it all aside for even a MOMENT?"
"Ask HIM." They each pointed to the other.
Everyone else in the room facepalmed.
"UGH," Excadrill moaned.
"This is why I'm not a morning person," Heracross admitted.
"One moment." Lurantis walked outside.
Nearly a minute later, she walked back in, still angry. But nonetheless, she gave everyone their assignments for the day, and everyone was off, to a bad start.
Dhelmise sighed. This was the opposite of what he was trying to accomplish. He was supposed to be the comical relief, the "funny guy", the class clown, but it's hard to pick his comrades up when Talonflame always picks fights with him!
"Ye'd think dat bird'd lurn b'now," he mumbled to himself, "n't t' always act so hah 'n' mahty!"
It was always inexplicable how the two Pokémon riled each other up so easily, and in effect angering those around them, yet were held together in the same investigation team for as long as they had. It simply didn't make sense.
"Gah," the Sea Creeper Pokémon shook it off. "Wutev'r."
He looked at his task for today again:
(Client: Bruxish
Summary: Bruxish claims to have seen strange activity occuring in Shore Thing B10F. Reach the scene and investigate.)
"Welp, tahm t' git to it," Dhelmise pumped himself up and made his way to a beach far to the west.
(Shore Thing
B10F
Mainly shore-dwelling Pokémon like Sandygast and Shellder.
65 [+1])
Once he was in the specified area, Dhelmise scanned his surroundings. The sun was shining, the breeze was cool, and the water rippled onto the sand in a predictable pattern.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Except…
Out of the corner of his compass eye, he saw it: a single pair of eyes lurking from under a nearly indistinguishable pile of sand.
"Ahar!" Dhelmise quickly swung his anchor…
…clobbering, knocking out, and exposing the Salazzle hiding there.
He checked again for anything more, but that was it. "Offic'r M'gn'zone's gonna b' happy t' see you," he told the unconscious wanted criminal, towing her back to the firm.
Magnezone was there upon his arrival, and he quickly had Salazzle cuffed and taken away, leaving him with the bounty on her head: 1000 Poké.
"Nice catch," Lurantis commended him.
"N't even a fight 'r anythin'," Dhelmise joked. "J'st spott'd 'r, swung me anch'r, 'n BOOM. 'Ut like a light, da hole way here."
His boss laughed. Heracross snickered. Even the usually serious Excadrill gave a "Pfft".
Talonflame, however, was unamused. "Just goes to show that you only get the weakest ones, old man."
"'Ey, HEY," Dhelmise turned.
"Oh, no," everyone else saw where this was going.
"In a true battle," the Scorching Pokémon went on, "both forces are about equal in strength. No one gets one-shot that easy, unlike most everyone you've been assigned."
"A'ight, ferst 'v all," Dhelmise ranted, "ah didn't even know she w's dere 'til th' last sec'nd. An' sec'nd 'v all, d'sn't dat j'st prove how strong AH'm?"
"Oh HO, you wanna boast about strength?" Talonflame spread his wings. "Come on. You 'n' me, right here, right now. Let's settle this once and for all."
"Why, ye little…"
"Bring it, senior!"
"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. NO." Heracross restrained Dhelmise, Excadrill Talonflame, and Lurantis stood between the two. "This will NOT be happening on my watch!" Lurantis declared.
"He started it!" Talonflame and Dhelmise pointed at each other.
"This has gone on long enough," their boss broke them up. "Don't make me get on your cases the way a parent scolds a child!"
"Y-you're younger than BOTH of us!" Talonflame was outraged.
But Lurantis had had enough. "If you two don't learn to get along, at THE VERY LEAST, BEHAVE, I will PERSONALLY do something about it! You hear me?!"
Lurantis didn't normally get mad, but when she did, you did not argue with her if you valued your life. So the only thing the men could do was say "Yes, ma'am".
She took a deep breath. "Good. And I'm going to hold you to that now. Remember that for tomorrow. Dismissed."
Everyone headed home for the night. Talonflame and Dhelmise took the same route, but Talonflame flew off ahead with a "hmph".
"Argh…" Dhelmise moaned in defeat and started home.
A ways beyond Crossroad City, he made his home in the humid, swampy areas to the east. It wasn't much at all, really; he just plopped down in the Dhelmise-shaped indent in the weak, wet ground he had accidentally-on-purpose made over time.
"J'st great," he mumbled to himself. "Ah dun't git it. Ah dun't git how lookin' fer th' upsides in lahfe ends up wit me head abut t' be on a plattah! Nuh thenks t' T'l'nflem' over heah!
"Ah swear on me lahfe, fer da past fifteen years, dat birdbra'n's unly ev'r gott'n 's both in tr'ubl' wid da lass, 'n' takin' th' heart outta th' crew with it! It's n't ev'n lahk he gits anythin' outta it…s' why sab'tage me efferts?"
He laid there, thinking.
"Sumthin' has t' be dun," he said. "Ah can't r'memb'r th' last tahm ah ev'r saw th' hole crew really 'njoy'n' themselves…'n' that's j'st sad. Ah gotta git sumthin' t'getha t' lift der spir'ts…yet…dere's always T'l'nflem…
"So be it. It be a faht ya want? Oooh, it be a faht ya'll git, son. Ah maht be rusty, but ferst ch'nce ah git, ah'll show ye wut sum he'veh met'l c'n do!"
"WHAAAAAT?!" he, along with everyone else in the room, said the next morning at briefings.
"You heard me," Lurantis affirmed her team. "I'm putting Dhelmise and Talonflame together on a mission. By themselves."
"Boss, are you out of your mind?!" Heracross cried out. "They'll kill each other!"
"Not if they know what's good for them, they won't."
Dhelmise and Talonflame exchanged disgusted glances.
Then they both looked at the given objective:
(Client: Anonymous
Summary: Three thugs have stolen from the client and fled to Deserted Desert B20F. Make it to the scene and retrieve the item.)
Then they looked back at each other.
Then at Lurantis.
"No," they refused.
"Yes," their boss demanded. "You are going to complete this objective together and you are going to LIKE IT."
"Not so sure about that last part," Talonflame mattered under his breath.
"Come on, I swear it won't be as bad as you think," Lurantis assured. "Just get it over with, at the very least."
The room went quiet for a while.
"I'm sure you know that this is a very bad idea," Excadrill said, "leaving these two together unsupervised."
"Will you guys just give it a CHANCE?" Lurantis said, annoyed now.
"It's kind of hard to when they're going to, I dunno, KILL EACH OTHER."
"But what if I told you that there's a chance they might NOT, but rather, finally bury the hatchet after all this time?"
Dhelmise just stood there, taking it all in, until he said "Shure, shure, l't's go wit dat."
"Wait, WHAT," Talonflame reacted.
But by then Dhelmise had grabbed him and began dragging him to Deserted Desert.
An hour later, in the Deserted Desert to the south, Talonflame got himself free and looked around.
"Great," he said. "Thanks for dragging me out here in the middle of nowhere, old-timer. NOT."
"Ye shut yer yap," Dhelmise scolded, "'cuz ah dun't know th' way back. Yit."
Talonflame did a faceplant in the sand. "Wheee, this is so much fun, we're bonding already, wheeee."
Dhelmise sighed.
"Well, yer cert'nly nut gunna git nowhere stickin' yer beak in da gr'und," he finally said. "Let's just find dem thieves 'n' git it dun."
"Ech…" the Scorching Pokémon gave up and followed Dhelmise into the mystery dungeon.
(Deserted Desert
B7F
Pokémon commonly seen in arid areas, like Volcarona, Hippopotas, and Sigilyph
Dhelmise: 65 [no change]
Talonflame: 42 [+1])
Bickering the whole way, the two investigators found themselves in a clearing in the sands, arrows pointing opposite directions.
"Hm…" Talonflame decided which way to go. "Let's head right, right? Right."
"Ah," Dhelmise interrupted him, "l'ft seems more prom'sing t' me."
"Yeah, right. To you."
"Well, wut else 's l'ft t' do, hm?"
"Argh, Lurantis shoulda left us doing our own things!"
"Ah'm sure she doin' it fer all da raht reasons!"
"Right reasons? What ri-"
They suddenly stopped, and everything was silent for a moment.
Said silence shattered when they burst out laughing.
"BAHAHA…argh, ev'rythin' we just said," Dhelmise realized, "had eith'r l'ft 'r raht in it!"
"PFFFF…AHAHAHA! Okay, okay," Talonflame said between tears, "your jokes aren't usually funny, but that was good!"
"Wha?" the Sea Creeper Pokémon stopped. "Dis wa'n't me'nt t' be no joke."
"Well, it's better than what you usually come up with."
"Eh, if ye say so. Bett'r 'rite dis dun, maybe ah'll git a good hearty laff outta th' crew fer once!"
Talonflame seemed confused. "What're you talking about?"
"Haven't ye seen th' werld around ya?" Dhelmise asked. "Fer th' p'st fifteen years, it's always been so seri's; we do ar j'bs, claim ar rew'rds, 'n' dat's it. Haven't really 'njoyed each uther's comp'ny in forev'r, y'know? Ah've trahd t' liven it up a li'l fer 's lung 's ah c'n r'member, but…"
"But what?"
"It's nut easy t' braht'n th' mood when sumone's always pickin' fahts with ye."
Talonflame stopped listening. "Oh, so it's MY fault, is it?"
"Sarry, ken't really say it any other way."
"Whatever, old man." Talonflame folded his wings and hmphed.
Dhelmise looked around again. "Er…which way're we goin' ag'in?"
Talonflame facewinged.
(Deserted Desert
B8F-B14F
Same as before, but enemies that can evolve at least once most likely have
Dhelmise: 66 [+1]
Talonflame: 43 [+1])
After going further in, the duo reached another open area, scanning the surroundings once more.
"Still no sign of them thieves…" Talonflame noted. "Are we SURE it's not called the Deserted Desert because it's deserted in that sense?"
"Um, DOYEE," Dhelmise said. "Th' note says B20F."
"Oh yeah," Talonflame remembered.
"C'man," Dhelmise advanced cheerfully. "We're two-th'rds th' way dere already. How hard cou'd it-"
He suddenly stopped.
"…be?" He looked down, and realized he had carelessly stepped into something very unpleasant.
"Oh-oh…" he realized. "Ah…d-dis be quicksand."
"Oh, shoot…" Talonflame saw.
Dhelmise tried to move, but only ended up failing, and his anchor's sheer weight was making him sink exceptionally fast.
"Uh…" he didn't panic, "well, dis ain't th' ferst I've sunk…though it prob'ly th' last, ehe…"
Suddenly he felt something latch onto him and force upward.
"What're ye doin'?!" he shouted in disbelief, looking up and seeing Talonflame attempting to fly him out.
"I'm a brave bird," the Scorching Pokémon admitted, "but not brave enough to face Lurantis' wrath if I come home alone! …and before you say anything, the double type advantage doesn't mean squat against her!"
"What?!"
"…y'know what, never mind." Talonflame decided to save face.
A little more force in flapping his wings, and Dhelmise was out and on stable ground.
"Oy…" the Sea Creeper Pokémon relaxed. "Dat coulda been werse."
"Ya don't say," Talonflame responded. "But what was that you were saying about this not being the first time you've sunk?"
"Argh…" Dhelmise shook his head. "Ah bet ye ain't got th' heart t' hear me tale of woe."
"Oh, really?" Talonflame challenged. "Try me."
"Ye sure?"
"I just said 'try me', dang it."
"Ha…back in MY day," Dhelmise began, "ah used t' be part 'v another crew…hum'n, yeh. Me 'n' me shipmates sailed th' sev'n seas on what dey called the Titanic-2…'n' true t' its name, it suffer'd a terrible fate. Leaks sprang lahk weeds in th' ship's hull, 'n' we began t' sink. It just so happ'n'd that I w's tryin' to fix de anchor's chain that'd broke earlier…so when dey threw IT ov'rboard t' bah tahm t' patch th' ship, th' chain around me hand took ME wit it…'n' my body lies at th' bott'm a' th' sea t' this day…"
"But…you're HERE," Talonflame interrupted.
"Yeh, exactly, I haven't MOVED," Dhelmise explained. "I'm DEAD, 'n' me spirit ended up possessin' th' ship's remains…'n' as fate'd have it, dat includes de same cursed anchor dat got meh killed."
"PFFAH! Wow…" Talonflame reflected, lightening up on the sass for once, "That's messed up."
"Ye dun't say."
"Is that why they call 'em ghost ships?"
"Naht funny."
"Neither are you, when you try to be," Talonflame "elbowed" him. "C'mon, let's get going."
(Deserted Desert
B15F-B20F
Same as before, except all enemies are fully evolved
Dhelmise: 67 [+1]
Talonflame: 45 [+2])
At the last floor, the investigators found what they were looking for.
"HAY!" Dhelmise challenged the three Pokémon with their backs to him.
They turned around to face him; a Tyranitar, a Seismitoad, and a Darmanitan. "Wha?" Tyranitar took him and Talonflame in. "Who the heck are you, and what're you doing here?"
"Investigators," Talonflame confronted them. "We've been told of three thieves hiding down here, and it looks like you three fit the description."
"Thieves?" Darmanitan asked, successfully hiding the fear in his voice, looking to Tyranitar and Seismitoad. "We're not theives."
"Th'n what's all that b'hind ye?" Dhelmise exposed the huge lair filled with stuff you'd never otherwise see in a desert.
"This?" Seismitoad answered. "This is just the fruits of our years of hard work."
"May ah ask yer lahn 'v werk?"
"Why does that matter to you?" Tyranitar questioned.
"I take it some people are harder to con and steal from than others," Talonflame won the conversation.
The three fugitives exchanged guilty glances with each other, until Tyranitar finally said, "y'know what, never mind".
"That's wut ah thought."
"You're not getting anything from us," Seismitoad raised his fists.
"We've stolen for years to get this far," Darmanitan prepared for battle. "We'll defend it with our lives!"
"Good, 'cause you're doing just that," Talonflame smirked.
And chaos erupted in the secret lair.
Dhelmise attacked Seismitoad with Power Whip, damaging but not KO'ing the thief.
Talonflame increased his and Dhelmise's speed to the max with three Agilitys, then lined himself up with Darmanitan and used Acrobatics.
Seismitoad, angry, attacked with Muddy Water, affecting Dhelmise less than Talonflame, and Talonflame less than Tyranitar or Darmanitan, his own teammate knocking Darmanitan out.
Tyranitar Crunched Dhelmise, but the old man more than toughed it out.
Dhelmise used Anchor Shot and finished Tyranitar, and with the extra speed, used Power Whip to weaken Seismitoad enough for him to go down with Talonflame's Brave Bird.
Once the three robbers were defeated and on the ground, Talonflame shoved them aside and let Dhelmise and himself in for a closer look. It was absurd how much the thieves had accumulated, but none of it even seemed to be used.
"Strange," he thought out loud.
A glint in the lair caught Dhelmise's eye; a pair of square, red and black cards rimmed with gold perimeters and strange markings covering them.
"Th'nk these be wut they wanted?" he asked his teammate.
"Only one way to find out."
They took the cards and headed back to the firm with them. The sun had gone down by the time they got there.
To say the least, Heracross and Excadrill were more than surprised to see both Dhelmise and Talonflame intact, not even arguing, to which they looked at Lurantis in time to witness her "I told you so" posture and expression.
Dhelmise set the shining cards on the desk. "Alright, we th'nk we got th' stuff."
"Now," Talonflame looked around, confused, "where's the client?"
Lurantis gazed at the cards just set on her desk. "Oh…" she said as she picked them up, looked closer, and giggled.
"Why, thank you."
It was then that both Dhelmise and Talonflame knew that they'd been had. "WHAT?!"
"Ahaha…" Lurantis continued examining the items. "They're just as I remember them! …or, maybe not, I dunno. Teehee, it's just been so long!"
Talonflame slammed his wings on the desk. "Explain."
"I'm the client," Lurantis elaborated. "I had to do something to get you two to work out your love-hate relationship, and I had recently heard that these Entercards had turned up, so I figured, why not teach those old bullies a lesson while I'm at it?"
"Wha?" Dhelmise was even more confused.
"Tyranitar, Seismitoad, and Darmanitan, right?"
"Uh…yeah," Talonflame confirmed.
"I went to school with those three way back when, before any of us evolved…and they weren't nice, to say the least. I found these Entercards when I was young, and always wondered what they did and how they worked. But when I was on the verge of cracking them, they stole them, and I never saw them again. So when I heard the thieves had popped up…"
"…ye sent us t' git 'em back for ye, so dey wouldn't rec'gnize ya," Dhelmise finished, "an' just us."
"And this is why I'm the boss," Lurantis affirmed with a wink. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off about thirty years ago. Dismissed."
She took the reclaimed Entercards to her bedroom, humming, and shut the door behind her, leaving the boys just standing there in awe.
"What just happened?" Talonflame finally asked.
"HA!" Heracross keeled over, laughing. "Oh, you two just got played like an instrument!"
"Heh heh…" Excadrill folded his arms. "Just goes to show, never underestimate the boss."
"Well, dat be one way t' put it," Dhelmise chuckled. "Ar, da lass's trickier th'n all 'v us put t'gether."
"Just wait," Talonflame joked, "it'll catch up to her eventually."
"Oh wait, 't already did;" Dhelmise pointed out, "she fergot t' throw us out 'n' lack th' door!"
The room exploded in the men's laughter.
Until Lurantis suddenly walked out of her room, opened the main door, and gestured. "Don't think I didn't hear any of that," she said with a smirk.
"See?" Talonflame said as Lurantis locked the door behind everyone. "This is exactly what I'm talking about!"
Dhelmise looked on as the team picked up where they left off. Everyone was having a good time, enjoying themselves and each other, for once, really letting their personalities shine through! It's not like he could ask for much more…
No, wait, there is one thing:
More instances like this for years to come!
(End of Special Episode 1.)

Description
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Investigators of Spirit

a fanmade story

(Setting: about three months before Gabriel and Aileen sign up at the firm)

Dhelmise went into the investigation firm in the morning like he always did.
He was the last one there, as usual.
But he was certainly the last one to care.
"'Ey, mateys!" he greeted the rest of his team.
"Hello!" his boss, Lurantis, enthusiastically welcomed him.
"Hey, Dhelmise," Heracross waved.
"Yo," Excadrill gestured.
"Hey," Talonflame killed the mood with a half-bored jazz-wings.
"Aw, c'mahn, yer killin' me 'ere, T'lunflame!" Dhelmise moaned.
"What?" the bird Pokémon asked. "What'd I say this time?"
"It's wut ya DIDN'T say, fer once."
"Well, excuse me, what am I supposed to say then?"
"Ah dunno, sumth-"
"If you don't know, what're yo-"
"AH WAS ABUT T-"
"BOTH OF YOU," Lurantis intervened.
The two men shut up.
"Dear Arceus," she stated. "Fifteen years together and you two STILL can't get along. What's with that? Really, why won't you two just set it all aside for even a MOMENT?"
"Ask HIM." They each pointed to the other.
Everyone else in the room facepalmed.
"UGH," Excadrill moaned.
"This is why I'm not a morning person," Heracross admitted.
"One moment." Lurantis walked outside.
Nearly a minute later, she walked back in, still angry. But nonetheless, she gave everyone their assignments for the day, and everyone was off, to a bad start.
Dhelmise sighed. This was the opposite of what he was trying to accomplish. He was supposed to be the comical relief, the "funny guy", the class clown, but it's hard to pick his comrades up when Talonflame always picks fights with him!
"Ye'd think dat bird'd lurn b'now," he mumbled to himself, "n't t' always act so hah 'n' mahty!"
It was always inexplicable how the two Pokémon riled each other up so easily, and in effect angering those around them, yet were held together in the same investigation team for as long as they had. It simply didn't make sense.
"Gah," the Sea Creeper Pokémon shook it off. "Wutev'r."
He looked at his task for today again:
(Client: Bruxish
Summary: Bruxish claims to have seen strange activity occuring in Shore Thing B10F. Reach the scene and investigate.)
"Welp, tahm t' git to it," Dhelmise pumped himself up and made his way to a beach far to the west.
(Shore Thing
B10F
Mainly shore-dwelling Pokémon like Sandygast and Shellder.
65 [+1])
Once he was in the specified area, Dhelmise scanned his surroundings. The sun was shining, the breeze was cool, and the water rippled onto the sand in a predictable pattern.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Except…
Out of the corner of his compass eye, he saw it: a single pair of eyes lurking from under a nearly indistinguishable pile of sand.
"Ahar!" Dhelmise quickly swung his anchor…
…clobbering, knocking out, and exposing the Salazzle hiding there.
He checked again for anything more, but that was it. "Offic'r M'gn'zone's gonna b' happy t' see you," he told the unconscious wanted criminal, towing her back to the firm.
Magnezone was there upon his arrival, and he quickly had Salazzle cuffed and taken away, leaving him with the bounty on her head: 1000 Poké.
"Nice catch," Lurantis commended him.
"N't even a fight 'r anythin'," Dhelmise joked. "J'st spott'd 'r, swung me anch'r, 'n BOOM. 'Ut like a light, da hole way here."
His boss laughed. Heracross snickered. Even the usually serious Excadrill gave a "Pfft".
Talonflame, however, was unamused. "Just goes to show that you only get the weakest ones, old man."
"'Ey, HEY," Dhelmise turned.
"Oh, no," everyone else saw where this was going.
"In a true battle," the Scorching Pokémon went on, "both forces are about equal in strength. No one gets one-shot that easy, unlike most everyone you've been assigned."
"A'ight, ferst 'v all," Dhelmise ranted, "ah didn't even know she w's dere 'til th' last sec'nd. An' sec'nd 'v all, d'sn't dat j'st prove how strong AH'm?"
"Oh HO, you wanna boast about strength?" Talonflame spread his wings. "Come on. You 'n' me, right here, right now. Let's settle this once and for all."
"Why, ye little…"
"Bring it, senior!"
"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. NO." Heracross restrained Dhelmise, Excadrill Talonflame, and Lurantis stood between the two. "This will NOT be happening on my watch!" Lurantis declared.
"He started it!" Talonflame and Dhelmise pointed at each other.
"This has gone on long enough," their boss broke them up. "Don't make me get on your cases the way a parent scolds a child!"
"Y-you're younger than BOTH of us!" Talonflame was outraged.
But Lurantis had had enough. "If you two don't learn to get along, at THE VERY LEAST, BEHAVE, I will PERSONALLY do something about it! You hear me?!"
Lurantis didn't normally get mad, but when she did, you did not argue with her if you valued your life. So the only thing the men could do was say "Yes, ma'am".
She took a deep breath. "Good. And I'm going to hold you to that now. Remember that for tomorrow. Dismissed."
Everyone headed home for the night. Talonflame and Dhelmise took the same route, but Talonflame flew off ahead with a "hmph".
"Argh…" Dhelmise moaned in defeat and started home.
A ways beyond Crossroad City, he made his home in the humid, swampy areas to the east. It wasn't much at all, really; he just plopped down in the Dhelmise-shaped indent in the weak, wet ground he had accidentally-on-purpose made over time.
"J'st great," he mumbled to himself. "Ah dun't git it. Ah dun't git how lookin' fer th' upsides in lahfe ends up wit me head abut t' be on a plattah! Nuh thenks t' T'l'nflem' over heah!
"Ah swear on me lahfe, fer da past fifteen years, dat birdbra'n's unly ev'r gott'n 's both in tr'ubl' wid da lass, 'n' takin' th' heart outta th' crew with it! It's n't ev'n lahk he gits anythin' outta it…s' why sab'tage me efferts?"
He laid there, thinking.
"Sumthin' has t' be dun," he said. "Ah can't r'memb'r th' last tahm ah ev'r saw th' hole crew really 'njoy'n' themselves…'n' that's j'st sad. Ah gotta git sumthin' t'getha t' lift der spir'ts…yet…dere's always T'l'nflem…
"So be it. It be a faht ya want? Oooh, it be a faht ya'll git, son. Ah maht be rusty, but ferst ch'nce ah git, ah'll show ye wut sum he'veh met'l c'n do!"
"WHAAAAAT?!" he, along with everyone else in the room, said the next morning at briefings.
"You heard me," Lurantis affirmed her team. "I'm putting Dhelmise and Talonflame together on a mission. By themselves."
"Boss, are you out of your mind?!" Heracross cried out. "They'll kill each other!"
"Not if they know what's good for them, they won't."
Dhelmise and Talonflame exchanged disgusted glances.
Then they both looked at the given objective:
(Client: Anonymous
Summary: Three thugs have stolen from the client and fled to Deserted Desert B20F. Make it to the scene and retrieve the item.)
Then they looked back at each other.
Then at Lurantis.
"No," they refused.
"Yes," their boss demanded. "You are going to complete this objective together and you are going to LIKE IT."
"Not so sure about that last part," Talonflame mattered under his breath.
"Come on, I swear it won't be as bad as you think," Lurantis assured. "Just get it over with, at the very least."
The room went quiet for a while.
"I'm sure you know that this is a very bad idea," Excadrill said, "leaving these two together unsupervised."
"Will you guys just give it a CHANCE?" Lurantis said, annoyed now.
"It's kind of hard to when they're going to, I dunno, KILL EACH OTHER."
"But what if I told you that there's a chance they might NOT, but rather, finally bury the hatchet after all this time?"
Dhelmise just stood there, taking it all in, until he said "Shure, shure, l't's go wit dat."
"Wait, WHAT," Talonflame reacted.
But by then Dhelmise had grabbed him and began dragging him to Deserted Desert.
An hour later, in the Deserted Desert to the south, Talonflame got himself free and looked around.
"Great," he said. "Thanks for dragging me out here in the middle of nowhere, old-timer. NOT."
"Ye shut yer yap," Dhelmise scolded, "'cuz ah dun't know th' way back. Yit."
Talonflame did a faceplant in the sand. "Wheee, this is so much fun, we're bonding already, wheeee."
Dhelmise sighed.
"Well, yer cert'nly nut gunna git nowhere stickin' yer beak in da gr'und," he finally said. "Let's just find dem thieves 'n' git it dun."
"Ech…" the Scorching Pokémon gave up and followed Dhelmise into the mystery dungeon.
(Deserted Desert
B7F
Pokémon commonly seen in arid areas, like Volcarona, Hippopotas, and Sigilyph
Dhelmise: 65 [no change]
Talonflame: 42 [+1])
Bickering the whole way, the two investigators found themselves in a clearing in the sands, arrows pointing opposite directions.
"Hm…" Talonflame decided which way to go. "Let's head right, right? Right."
"Ah," Dhelmise interrupted him, "l'ft seems more prom'sing t' me."
"Yeah, right. To you."
"Well, wut else 's l'ft t' do, hm?"
"Argh, Lurantis shoulda left us doing our own things!"
"Ah'm sure she doin' it fer all da raht reasons!"
"Right reasons? What ri-"
They suddenly stopped, and everything was silent for a moment.
Said silence shattered when they burst out laughing.
"BAHAHA…argh, ev'rythin' we just said," Dhelmise realized, "had eith'r l'ft 'r raht in it!"
"PFFFF…AHAHAHA! Okay, okay," Talonflame said between tears, "your jokes aren't usually funny, but that was good!"
"Wha?" the Sea Creeper Pokémon stopped. "Dis wa'n't me'nt t' be no joke."
"Well, it's better than what you usually come up with."
"Eh, if ye say so. Bett'r 'rite dis dun, maybe ah'll git a good hearty laff outta th' crew fer once!"
Talonflame seemed confused. "What're you talking about?"
"Haven't ye seen th' werld around ya?" Dhelmise asked. "Fer th' p'st fifteen years, it's always been so seri's; we do ar j'bs, claim ar rew'rds, 'n' dat's it. Haven't really 'njoyed each uther's comp'ny in forev'r, y'know? Ah've trahd t' liven it up a li'l fer 's lung 's ah c'n r'member, but…"
"But what?"
"It's nut easy t' braht'n th' mood when sumone's always pickin' fahts with ye."
Talonflame stopped listening. "Oh, so it's MY fault, is it?"
"Sarry, ken't really say it any other way."
"Whatever, old man." Talonflame folded his wings and hmphed.
Dhelmise looked around again. "Er…which way're we goin' ag'in?"
Talonflame facewinged.
(Deserted Desert
B8F-B14F
Same as before, but enemies that can evolve at least once most likely have
Dhelmise: 66 [+1]
Talonflame: 43 [+1])
After going further in, the duo reached another open area, scanning the surroundings once more.
"Still no sign of them thieves…" Talonflame noted. "Are we SURE it's not called the Deserted Desert because it's deserted in that sense?"
"Um, DOYEE," Dhelmise said. "Th' note says B20F."
"Oh yeah," Talonflame remembered.
"C'man," Dhelmise advanced cheerfully. "We're two-th'rds th' way dere already. How hard cou'd it-"
He suddenly stopped.
"…be?" He looked down, and realized he had carelessly stepped into something very unpleasant.
"Oh-oh…" he realized. "Ah…d-dis be quicksand."
"Oh, shoot…" Talonflame saw.
Dhelmise tried to move, but only ended up failing, and his anchor's sheer weight was making him sink exceptionally fast.
"Uh…" he didn't panic, "well, dis ain't th' ferst I've sunk…though it prob'ly th' last, ehe…"
Suddenly he felt something latch onto him and force upward.
"What're ye doin'?!" he shouted in disbelief, looking up and seeing Talonflame attempting to fly him out.
"I'm a brave bird," the Scorching Pokémon admitted, "but not brave enough to face Lurantis' wrath if I come home alone! …and before you say anything, the double type advantage doesn't mean squat against her!"
"What?!"
"…y'know what, never mind." Talonflame decided to save face.
A little more force in flapping his wings, and Dhelmise was out and on stable ground.
"Oy…" the Sea Creeper Pokémon relaxed. "Dat coulda been werse."
"Ya don't say," Talonflame responded. "But what was that you were saying about this not being the first time you've sunk?"
"Argh…" Dhelmise shook his head. "Ah bet ye ain't got th' heart t' hear me tale of woe."
"Oh, really?" Talonflame challenged. "Try me."
"Ye sure?"
"I just said 'try me', dang it."
"Ha…back in MY day," Dhelmise began, "ah used t' be part 'v another crew…hum'n, yeh. Me 'n' me shipmates sailed th' sev'n seas on what dey called the Titanic-2…'n' true t' its name, it suffer'd a terrible fate. Leaks sprang lahk weeds in th' ship's hull, 'n' we began t' sink. It just so happ'n'd that I w's tryin' to fix de anchor's chain that'd broke earlier…so when dey threw IT ov'rboard t' bah tahm t' patch th' ship, th' chain around me hand took ME wit it…'n' my body lies at th' bott'm a' th' sea t' this day…"
"But…you're HERE," Talonflame interrupted.
"Yeh, exactly, I haven't MOVED," Dhelmise explained. "I'm DEAD, 'n' me spirit ended up possessin' th' ship's remains…'n' as fate'd have it, dat includes de same cursed anchor dat got meh killed."
"PFFAH! Wow…" Talonflame reflected, lightening up on the sass for once, "That's messed up."
"Ye dun't say."
"Is that why they call 'em ghost ships?"
"Naht funny."
"Neither are you, when you try to be," Talonflame "elbowed" him. "C'mon, let's get going."
(Deserted Desert
B15F-B20F
Same as before, except all enemies are fully evolved
Dhelmise: 67 [+1]
Talonflame: 45 [+2])
At the last floor, the investigators found what they were looking for.
"HAY!" Dhelmise challenged the three Pokémon with their backs to him.
They turned around to face him; a Tyranitar, a Seismitoad, and a Darmanitan. "Wha?" Tyranitar took him and Talonflame in. "Who the heck are you, and what're you doing here?"
"Investigators," Talonflame confronted them. "We've been told of three thieves hiding down here, and it looks like you three fit the description."
"Thieves?" Darmanitan asked, successfully hiding the fear in his voice, looking to Tyranitar and Seismitoad. "We're not theives."
"Th'n what's all that b'hind ye?" Dhelmise exposed the huge lair filled with stuff you'd never otherwise see in a desert.
"This?" Seismitoad answered. "This is just the fruits of our years of hard work."
"May ah ask yer lahn 'v werk?"
"Why does that matter to you?" Tyranitar questioned.
"I take it some people are harder to con and steal from than others," Talonflame won the conversation.
The three fugitives exchanged guilty glances with each other, until Tyranitar finally said, "y'know what, never mind".
"That's wut ah thought."
"You're not getting anything from us," Seismitoad raised his fists.
"We've stolen for years to get this far," Darmanitan prepared for battle. "We'll defend it with our lives!"
"Good, 'cause you're doing just that," Talonflame smirked.
And chaos erupted in the secret lair.
Dhelmise attacked Seismitoad with Power Whip, damaging but not KO'ing the thief.
Talonflame increased his and Dhelmise's speed to the max with three Agilitys, then lined himself up with Darmanitan and used Acrobatics.
Seismitoad, angry, attacked with Muddy Water, affecting Dhelmise less than Talonflame, and Talonflame less than Tyranitar or Darmanitan, his own teammate knocking Darmanitan out.
Tyranitar Crunched Dhelmise, but the old man more than toughed it out.
Dhelmise used Anchor Shot and finished Tyranitar, and with the extra speed, used Power Whip to weaken Seismitoad enough for him to go down with Talonflame's Brave Bird.
Once the three robbers were defeated and on the ground, Talonflame shoved them aside and let Dhelmise and himself in for a closer look. It was absurd how much the thieves had accumulated, but none of it even seemed to be used.
"Strange," he thought out loud.
A glint in the lair caught Dhelmise's eye; a pair of square, red and black cards rimmed with gold perimeters and strange markings covering them.
"Th'nk these be wut they wanted?" he asked his teammate.
"Only one way to find out."
They took the cards and headed back to the firm with them. The sun had gone down by the time they got there.
To say the least, Heracross and Excadrill were more than surprised to see both Dhelmise and Talonflame intact, not even arguing, to which they looked at Lurantis in time to witness her "I told you so" posture and expression.
Dhelmise set the shining cards on the desk. "Alright, we th'nk we got th' stuff."
"Now," Talonflame looked around, confused, "where's the client?"
Lurantis gazed at the cards just set on her desk. "Oh…" she said as she picked them up, looked closer, and giggled.
"Why, thank you."
It was then that both Dhelmise and Talonflame knew that they'd been had. "WHAT?!"
"Ahaha…" Lurantis continued examining the items. "They're just as I remember them! …or, maybe not, I dunno. Teehee, it's just been so long!"
Talonflame slammed his wings on the desk. "Explain."
"I'm the client," Lurantis elaborated. "I had to do something to get you two to work out your love-hate relationship, and I had recently heard that these Entercards had turned up, so I figured, why not teach those old bullies a lesson while I'm at it?"
"Wha?" Dhelmise was even more confused.
"Tyranitar, Seismitoad, and Darmanitan, right?"
"Uh…yeah," Talonflame confirmed.
"I went to school with those three way back when, before any of us evolved…and they weren't nice, to say the least. I found these Entercards when I was young, and always wondered what they did and how they worked. But when I was on the verge of cracking them, they stole them, and I never saw them again. So when I heard the thieves had popped up…"
"…ye sent us t' git 'em back for ye, so dey wouldn't rec'gnize ya," Dhelmise finished, "an' just us."
"And this is why I'm the boss," Lurantis affirmed with a wink. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off about thirty years ago. Dismissed."
She took the reclaimed Entercards to her bedroom, humming, and shut the door behind her, leaving the boys just standing there in awe.
"What just happened?" Talonflame finally asked.
"HA!" Heracross keeled over, laughing. "Oh, you two just got played like an instrument!"
"Heh heh…" Excadrill folded his arms. "Just goes to show, never underestimate the boss."
"Well, dat be one way t' put it," Dhelmise chuckled. "Ar, da lass's trickier th'n all 'v us put t'gether."
"Just wait," Talonflame joked, "it'll catch up to her eventually."
"Oh wait, 't already did;" Dhelmise pointed out, "she fergot t' throw us out 'n' lack th' door!"
The room exploded in the men's laughter.
Until Lurantis suddenly walked out of her room, opened the main door, and gestured. "Don't think I didn't hear any of that," she said with a smirk.
"See?" Talonflame said as Lurantis locked the door behind everyone. "This is exactly what I'm talking about!"
Dhelmise looked on as the team picked up where they left off. Everyone was having a good time, enjoying themselves and each other, for once, really letting their personalities shine through! It's not like he could ask for much more…
No, wait, there is one thing:
More instances like this for years to come!
(End of Special Episode 1.)