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    The sun was golden, the grass was green, the sky was blue, and the chairs were white as the bride's dress.  The guests were dressed in a wide variety of colors according to the couple's request; Mark and Sue wanted their wedding day to be exactly what they planned.  Not even the Catholic priest was exempt; his rainbow chasuble and gold-patterned stole threatened to outshine many of the guests' monochromatic suits and dresses.  The staff members working the event were enjoying the festivities as well; everything was going smoothly for now.  From the cloudless sky to the cooling wind to the richly colored linens on the tables, not the slightest insect seemed out-of-place.

    Conrad and his girlfriend Natasha were close friends of the bride and groom, having even gone on many double-dates with the couple, and so had been asked to be the best man and the maid of honor.  Conrad was the only man present to be wearing pink: Natasha loved white and Conrad red, so the two always coordinated through pink, and he had come to love the color.  In spite of the day's perfection, Conrad was worried to the brink of paranoia; even slight separations between Natasha and himself troubled him, and the aisle's width seemed all the greater for the day's beauty.  Natasha had been diagnosed with Dissociated Identity Disorder, DID, that which most people mistakenly refer to as schizophrenia.  Her Natasha-self was the bright kind of girl who always smiled; her alter ego, Nat, was a vicious and selfish and given to melodramatic outbursts whenever any little thing went against her idea of what was right.  Natasha frequently held conversation with Nat, especially when Conrad wasn't around, so he flew into a panic when Natasha went off to the buffet, and he overheard her saying the word "we" when he wasn't there.  At the moment, either Nat or Natasha was talking with the bride with a full plate of food in hand - the crab dip was excellent, but it wouldn't take a whole plateful to ruin a wedding dress.

    When Conrad got there, it was too late.  Natasha had smeared the entire plate of crab dip across the Sue's dress.  She burst into tears as Mark wiped her dress, speaking softly to her as Nat grinned wickedly.

    But that's not what actually happened.

    When Conrad reached Natasha, she said that she and Sue had just been talking about him, although she didn't say what about him the pair had been discussing.  He calmed himself down and excused himself to get a drink from the bar.

    "It's weird, the way he obsesses over you," the bride said.  "It's kinda cute, like a puppy following you around, but it gets kinda weird sometimes."

    Natasha sighed.  "Yeah, he does tend to hang on me a bit."

    "I wonder why . . . ."

***

    That evening, back at their apartment, Natasha told Conrad all about her conversation with Sue.

    "She thinks it's a little weird that you pay such attention to me," stated Natasha.

    "You know why I do, don't you?  I mean, I was worried that Nat-"

    A look from Natasha cut him off as her usual smile dropped.  "I know, you don't have to remind me.  Honestly, thank God you didn't see it; you have no idea how hard I was trying to keep pleasant with - her - pushing me around the entire time."

    "Yeah, you did good today, love," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind.

***

    The next day, Conrad woke up without Natasha next to him in their bed.  Flying into a panic, he jumped out of bed and threw on his robe, running out of the room to try to put a stop to Nat.  Charging into the kitchen, he found Natasha at the stove, cooking something.  Hearing his running, she spun around quickly.

    "Honey, is everything alright?"

    Out of breath, it took him a moment to answer.  "When I didn't see you in the bed, I was worried that . . . well, that she had gone off to cause some chaos."

    Natasha smiled.  "No, I'm fine.  I was just making you breakfast.  Now calm down; in case you forgot, silly, Mark gave the entire division a week off so that he could go on his honeymoon, so you don't have to stress about anything today."

    Conrad smiled back; "Where did they go, again?"

    "I think it was just a week in the mountains.  You know how they love hiking," Natasha said, turning back to the eggs and bacon.

    "So, since you're so keen on this week of relaxation, do you have any plans for us for today?"

    "Well," she smirked.  "I did have some things in mind.  Breakfast first, though!"

    As Conrad sat down at the table, Natasha set a plate of eggs and bacon alongside a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee in front of him.  He pulled her in for a quick kiss as she handed him some silverware.  Natasha then sat down across from him with her own plate of food and her own drink - tea instead of coffee and apple juice instead of orange - and she was smirking at him through the entire meal.

    As they finished breakfast, Conrad stood up to clear the dishes.  Natasha stopped him, though, planted a kiss on his lips and a finger on his sternum.

    "The dishes will wait, love.  We have other things to do," she explained as she pushed him into their bedroom.

***

    Even when he didn't have to work, Conrad insisted upon showering and getting dressed every morning, today being no exception.  As he wasn't going to work, though, it was jeans and a T-shirt instead of a suit.

    "So, I'm guessing that those weren't all of you plans, Natasha."

    She giggled.  "No, of course not, silly!  We're going to the park this afternoon!"

    "Sounds fun," Conrad replied, putting on his running shoes as Natasha donned her shorts.

***

    They arrived at the park in the late morning, so the park was nearly empty.  Spreading a blanket across the dark green grass in the the shad of one of the park's larger trees, Conrad lied down on the blanket right next to the picnic basket that they had brought along for lunch.  Natasha lied next to him on her side.

    Suddenly, Nat grinned at him evilly.  "Want to play a game, love?"

    His eyes went wide as he realized what was about to happen.  Actually, he didn't know.  He just knew that it was going to be horrible.  He could always tell when Nat had something wicked in mind because she said "love" in that particular twisted, sinister tone.

    The sun was still shining, the grass was still green, and the wind was still a cooling breeze, but Conrad was suddenly shivering.

    He said, "No.  I'm not playing any of your games, Nat."

    She switched to smirking as she got right in his face, whispering to him, "Oh, really?  And what choice do you think you have?  You're like a pathetic little puppy, following Cruella DeVille around thinking that she'll throw you a bone or play fetch with you."

    She started stroking his body, trying to arouse some sensation in him.  It worked.

    "The only difference, love, is that I'm not going to kill you and you're actually going to enjoy the things that I do to you.  Don't bother lying to yourself; you enjoy me way more than you claim to love that silly little girl.  Now come on.  Maybe you should try to stop me or something if you're so sure that you don't want to join in the fun."

    Nat returned to grinning as she stood up, every little motion intended to seduce Conrad into following her.  Of course, she knew that nothing would make him jump up and follow quite as well as walking away.  However, she didn't feel like simply walking away today.

    She ran.

    As she started to leave, Conrad jumped up and bolted after her, a mix of fear and panic rising in him.  He knew neither where Nat was going nor what she was going to do, but he had a distinct feeling that this witch was going to cause serious trouble.  He could hear her laugh as he followed her down streets and through alleys; he knew the city very well, so he was trying to think of where she might be headed as they ran.  Fourth street, alley to Fifth, left on Jackson....

    He realized rather suddenly where they were going: in circles.  She was leading him in a wild goose chase that would end up either back in the park at their apartment.  If she was as dedicated to seducing him into becoming her accomplice as she suggested, Conrad decided, it would be the apartment.  Wanting to clean up behind himself and not aggravate her any further, he turned toward the park to grab the picnic stuff before returning to the apartment.

    As soon as Nat realized that she wasn't being followed anymore, she slowed down.  The fool would of course have tried to out-think her and gone to the apartment.  She decided not to disappoint, but she would run some errands first.

    Conrad was relieved to find himself first back to the apartment.  He was worried that Natasha's poor sense of direction would get her lost if she regained control, but his greater concern was what Nat would do when she returned to the apartment.

***

    It was a few hours before Nat returned.  Conrad had already started preparing dinner - Nat liked eating out far less than Natasha did, so she would certainly return to eat - when he heard a knock on the door.  Looking through the peephole, he saw Nat with some six paint buckets, painters' tape, brushes, rollers, and paint sticks.

    Opening the door, the first thing that came to Conrad's mind was, "So, why did you decide that we're repainting the apartment?"

    "I'll explain once you help me get this stuff inside.  I had to do some serious convincing to get one of the store workers to help me get it up here."

    Conrad reached down and grabbed all of the paint at once, leaving the remaining supplies to Nat.  He noticed that the paints were in two colors: red and white, Nat's and Natasha's favorite colors, respectively.

    "So, why didn't you just buy red paint?  I thought you hated white."

"Look, both of us - Natasha and I - are sick of the current living arrangements between the two of us.  We made a new deal, and the repainting is a part of it.  Part of my concessions is that some of the place be white.  The kitchen will be red, the living room white, and the bedroom and bathroom a mix of whatever's left."

    "What happened while you were out and about?  Why the change of heart?"

    "There was no change of heart.  You just always make me out to be an asshole just because I'm so much more chaotic than your little princess.  I'm sick and tired of being so downplayed, so I decided to make some concessions to get more active time.  Now let's eat; all that extra running made me hungry."

    Conrad was absolutely shocked.  Nat had never been so straightforward, so generous, or so level-minded before; 'a little more chaotic' had always been an understatement, but now he wasn't so sure of what he was dealing with.

    Nat sat down at the table, yelling, "Hey, blockhead!  Are you gonna serve me some of that spaghetti on the stove, or do I have to do it myself?"

    Conrad sighed as he walked over to the kitchen.  The more things change, he thought, the more they stay the same.  She's claiming that she's compromising, but she's just as wicked towards me as ever.  I guess we'll just have to see how this pans out.

***

    Conrad lied down on the floor, near collapse from the exhaustion.  Nat had led him on an exhilarating painting and reorganizing spree, managing to repaint the kitchen and the living room completely before Conrad declared that they had to stop for the night.  Nat, actually, was still working, but she stopped after she announced that they would need an extra bucket of each color to finish the apartment.

    Lying down on top of Conrad, she started smiling.

    "So, what do you think?  Ya like it?"

    "What, lying here on the floor, or the paint job?"

    Nat's smile dropped into a glare as she sat up.  "I may be trying to soften up a little so that Natasha doesn't shut me down as often, but I still won't stand for sarcasm.  You're probably getting the most benefit out of all of this, so you had better be appreciative."  This only confused Conrad further: Nat, without switching back to Natasha, had bounced between helpful and hellion all day, and it was starting to bewilder him.

    "I'm sorry about the sarcasm; I'm just tired.  Would it be alright for us to go to bed now?" Conrad asked.

    The reply came with a smirk.  "Only if we have some fun first...."

    Her voice trailed off as she pulled him up off the floor and nearly tore his shirt off of him as she pushed him into the bedroom.

***

    The next morning, Conrad woke up first.  He wondered whether Nat or Natasha was then lying next to him, but didn't get a chance to consider it much before she opened her eyes and crawled on top of him.

    "Good morning, love," she crooned.  "Did you have fun with Nat last night?  How much did you guys get done?"

    "Oh, good.  I was worried that it had all her playing an extended prank on me.  Is she really serious about calming down?"

    "I don't think so.  But she does want to get to be out more often, so she'll do what she has to.  Honestly, it feels a lot better to not have her constantly scratching to get out."

    That medicine is a pain to slip into her food each day, Conrad thought.  Good thing it's working.