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{-Personal log, LCpl Judas T. Morrison. Date Log Created: June 22nd 2548}

  Here we are. You're all caught up now. I don't know who will end up reading this but all I can hope for is some empathy. I know I made a huge mistake and despite some people telling me "it happens", I know it's not okay. I need to be better than that. I will be better than that. Currently I'm in the shrink's office and I decided to write these all out now instead of later. I realize that even though the turmoil in my head is bringing me down I have to take this step forward to recognizing where I went wrong.
  I can't say it was easy to try and explain everything, especially under pressure. I still don't know if I made sense or got across exactly how I'm feeling. This...isn't easy. Coming to terms with something like this takes a lot of strength. It's almost surreal to think I'm actively ready to overcome this. Before now… I just didn't care. I was complacent. Part of me still just wants to wallow and feel sorry for myself. It feels… weird, wrong to want to get better. Like I don't deserve it. I felt that way long before I took that woman's life but… that made me feel worse. Corporal al-Fulani has been supportive of me and for that I am very grateful. I intend to try and mend things with Lance Corporal Vega but I understand that it might not happen. I can't expect everyone to forgive me and that is their right.
  A lot of what I'm getting from the therapist still sounds like mumbo jumbo to me. I don't consider myself a meathead like a lot of other Marines or ODSTs-depression just makes it hard to understand the concepts of getting better. It's hard to fight a battle in the real world and fight one inside your head. At least I know one person is there for me though. I'm glad Farrah and I don't butt heads anymore. I do enjoy her company. For the most part we mesh well on the battlefield, aside from a few things. Lately I've gotten to know her better as more than just a fellow soldier and she's actually an interesting person.
  God, I haven't realized until now just how self-absorbed I've been. I hadn't really paid much attention to my other squadmates outside of combat. Usually if we're in the barracks I have my headphones in or I'm writing music. I still fully expect Farrah to give me shit over my affinity for heavy metal but it's all in good fun. I think if I come out of my shell a bit more it might help me get better. Vega is your typical jokester. Always likes to wisecrack and make light of a situation. That's not always a bad thing but Sandover isn't afraid to shut him up now and again. The Sergeant doesn't talk much about herself but I do know she's from Reach. I've never been there myself but I hear whispers and stories from some other soldiers. I've already learned more about Farrah and her family too. We both grew up on Tribute but never met until I joined the ODST program. Her family still pays homage to old Earth religion. As an atheist most of it escapes me but her culture is really intriguing. I do have to admit her accent is really nice too.
  Well, I'm getting off track but my point is that I see I've been too self-centered. I don't expect "being social" to be a cure by a long shot but I suppose getting out of my head more often might give me new perspective. I think that's enough for now though. My hands are sore from all this typing and I think I've had my fill of psychoanalysis for one day. I need to go exercise or workout. Clear my head from thinking about all this. Here's to a better me. A better future.

Description
{-Personal log, LCpl Judas T. Morrison. Date Log Created: June 22nd 2548}

  Here we are. You're all caught up now. I don't know who will end up reading this but all I can hope for is some empathy. I know I made a huge mistake and despite some people telling me "it happens", I know it's not okay. I need to be better than that. I will be better than that. Currently I'm in the shrink's office and I decided to write these all out now instead of later. I realize that even though the turmoil in my head is bringing me down I have to take this step forward to recognizing where I went wrong.
  I can't say it was easy to try and explain everything, especially under pressure. I still don't know if I made sense or got across exactly how I'm feeling. This...isn't easy. Coming to terms with something like this takes a lot of strength. It's almost surreal to think I'm actively ready to overcome this. Before now… I just didn't care. I was complacent. Part of me still just wants to wallow and feel sorry for myself. It feels… weird, wrong to want to get better. Like I don't deserve it. I felt that way long before I took that woman's life but… that made me feel worse. Corporal al-Fulani has been supportive of me and for that I am very grateful. I intend to try and mend things with Lance Corporal Vega but I understand that it might not happen. I can't expect everyone to forgive me and that is their right.
  A lot of what I'm getting from the therapist still sounds like mumbo jumbo to me. I don't consider myself a meathead like a lot of other Marines or ODSTs-depression just makes it hard to understand the concepts of getting better. It's hard to fight a battle in the real world and fight one inside your head. At least I know one person is there for me though. I'm glad Farrah and I don't butt heads anymore. I do enjoy her company. For the most part we mesh well on the battlefield, aside from a few things. Lately I've gotten to know her better as more than just a fellow soldier and she's actually an interesting person.
  God, I haven't realized until now just how self-absorbed I've been. I hadn't really paid much attention to my other squadmates outside of combat. Usually if we're in the barracks I have my headphones in or I'm writing music. I still fully expect Farrah to give me shit over my affinity for heavy metal but it's all in good fun. I think if I come out of my shell a bit more it might help me get better. Vega is your typical jokester. Always likes to wisecrack and make light of a situation. That's not always a bad thing but Sandover isn't afraid to shut him up now and again. The Sergeant doesn't talk much about herself but I do know she's from Reach. I've never been there myself but I hear whispers and stories from some other soldiers. I've already learned more about Farrah and her family too. We both grew up on Tribute but never met until I joined the ODST program. Her family still pays homage to old Earth religion. As an atheist most of it escapes me but her culture is really intriguing. I do have to admit her accent is really nice too.
  Well, I'm getting off track but my point is that I see I've been too self-centered. I don't expect "being social" to be a cure by a long shot but I suppose getting out of my head more often might give me new perspective. I think that's enough for now though. My hands are sore from all this typing and I think I've had my fill of psychoanalysis for one day. I need to go exercise or workout. Clear my head from thinking about all this. Here's to a better me. A better future.