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Description
sitting here in my room, under my covers in my bed at one in the morning, i cant help but let my mind wander to places where it need not wander. im in a terrible pain, you see, caught between decisions of right and wrong. but what is right and wrong when all that matters is the action you take? just words, they are. its obvious that im deathly in love with a boy named lachlan, who's affection has been burned into my soul for an eternity. all i want from him is love; and that forever. but he cannot give this to me, he too is stuck between right and wrong, or what action he's to choose. he may stay here with me for a five years longer, and be with me from here on out - or perhaps grow of tired of my place by his side. that, or he is to move on with his life in another area. i however, have different options to take. i may either end what heartbreak is to come; and destroy our chance of loving further to save myself, or live with what is to come, and take not one simple action to alter what is to be. neither option i like much for even as i am thinking and typing this, implanting all these ideas into my head - i must hold in a tear every now and then; thinking of the life i'd live without my love. a sick feeling comes to my heart, stomach, and all mind i have left when im forced to imagine the events and emotions that would take place. things dont make sense to me ... how could i allow myself to fall in love with him - knowing it would never last? knowing nothing would come from it except another heartbroken experience. i want him to be happy but i want myself to be blissful as well. part of me thinks, i should let him go. i love him, but im not the girl for him, and im not going to be strong enough for his departure. the other part of me thinks that im too in love to do anything. that im to desperate for love - and to be loved, to really consider ending what fate has in store. my heart says ...

i love this boy with all i have left of my heart, i do not want it shattered again, i mustn't do this to myself. but perhaps it will make me stronger - maybe i'll be able to prove to myself that i can take that much pain, that im not afraid to accept the truth [though i am]. i should live life and not try to alter it. i should stay by his side as i can, so when it comes time for him to leave me, i can say, "remember that boy; lachlan? i will always be in love with him. he was once mine, and in my heart; part of him is still there. part of him will always be there - regardless of whether he feels the same way." i may never in my life lay my hand upon his face, gaze into his beautiful eyes, or kiss the boy i love again. once he leaves, that may be all. i should make the most of it, for i do love him. i've loved him more than anyone i've tried to love before. tried ... but with lachlan - i've succeeded.

Description
sitting here in my room, under my covers in my bed at one in the morning, i cant help but let my mind wander to places where it need not wander. im in a terrible pain, you see, caught between decisions of right and wrong. but what is right and wrong when all that matters is the action you take? just words, they are. its obvious that im deathly in love with a boy named lachlan, who's affection has been burned into my soul for an eternity. all i want from him is love; and that forever. but he cannot give this to me, he too is stuck between right and wrong, or what action he's to choose. he may stay here with me for a five years longer, and be with me from here on out - or perhaps grow of tired of my place by his side. that, or he is to move on with his life in another area. i however, have different options to take. i may either end what heartbreak is to come; and destroy our chance of loving further to save myself, or live with what is to come, and take not one simple action to alter what is to be. neither option i like much for even as i am thinking and typing this, implanting all these ideas into my head - i must hold in a tear every now and then; thinking of the life i'd live without my love. a sick feeling comes to my heart, stomach, and all mind i have left when im forced to imagine the events and emotions that would take place. things dont make sense to me ... how could i allow myself to fall in love with him - knowing it would never last? knowing nothing would come from it except another heartbroken experience. i want him to be happy but i want myself to be blissful as well. part of me thinks, i should let him go. i love him, but im not the girl for him, and im not going to be strong enough for his departure. the other part of me thinks that im too in love to do anything. that im to desperate for love - and to be loved, to really consider ending what fate has in store. my heart says ...

i love this boy with all i have left of my heart, i do not want it shattered again, i mustn't do this to myself. but perhaps it will make me stronger - maybe i'll be able to prove to myself that i can take that much pain, that im not afraid to accept the truth [though i am]. i should live life and not try to alter it. i should stay by his side as i can, so when it comes time for him to leave me, i can say, "remember that boy; lachlan? i will always be in love with him. he was once mine, and in my heart; part of him is still there. part of him will always be there - regardless of whether he feels the same way." i may never in my life lay my hand upon his face, gaze into his beautiful eyes, or kiss the boy i love again. once he leaves, that may be all. i should make the most of it, for i do love him. i've loved him more than anyone i've tried to love before. tried ... but with lachlan - i've succeeded.