HOME | DD

Description
Please read my journal for more info: Update on my Health and Finances (PLEASE READ)Hello! I hope all of you are doing well! I’ve wanted to make something like this for a while in order to update everyone on my current situation.Health Update:As some may know, I’m not a stranger to health issues. Three years ago, I had constant anxiety and panic attacks, along with fatigue. The anxiety slowly went away but I still dealt with the fatigue. This year, I was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Taking the medication helped a lot. However, I still ended up feeling crappy after weeks of feeling on top of the world. This takes us to late July and early August.I had noticed more fatigue and discomfort in my stomach. It wasn’t sharp pains or aches or whatnot, however. It would usually be accompanied by fatigue and forcing myself to burp (and rarely acid that I can feel in my throat). Rarely would it result in palpitations that seem to go away after burping a few times. This made it difficult to work at my main production job. It felt like my head was heavy (including my limbs, depending on when I ate). On a side note, I also noticed that I wasn’t “going” as much (It’s TMI but let’s say I definitely needed to increase my fiber). This made it where if I was performing a job that involved standing, I was afraid of falling or tripping over equipment and getting injured. Thus, I ended up going on FMLA (More about that in the “Finance Update” section) during August.Long story short, after trying out different diets and seeing two doctors, I’d usually feel fine but then there'd be a flareup again. This made it impossible to work because of how distracting, frustrating, and unsafe it was. Within the past two weeks or so, I had met a doctor who had finally explained what was going on with me. That I needed to increase my fiber intake and decrease my fat consumption. While I’ve generally been doing fine, the symptoms (mostly the fatigue) are still there.From what I understand, I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). As such, I’m gonna try to treat it as such. One of those things involves going on a lactose-free diet.Few days back, my mom suggested I go on a lactose-free diet. I agreed since others seemed to have felt better after doing so. So far, I don’t feel too bad but the symptoms are still lingering. I don’t know if it has something to do with my stomach slowly recovering or the fact I’m not moving enough (despite trying to talk for an hour before sundown, and getting up every once in awhile). I’m working on increasing walking and water hydration, though, since that’s what the doctor also recommended.This is where I switch over to the other aspect of this update:Financial Update:I imagine most know more about this. It’s something that’s frustrated me a lot. I’ve been struggling financially to not only buy some groceries for myself but it’s made it harder to pay off certain bills. These bills are mostly for the main house. I live with my parents but I contribute by paying for the electricity and the internet. I also helped by paying for gas, weekly. With all of this, my mom is more worried about the bills. Every Time I miss work, that’s less money I have to help out and try to purchase food that will help with my diet. I feel guilt whenever I'm not able to help out as much. Our parents aren't that rich. Especially now with the economy and inflation getting bad. I'm afraid when there's a scenario, like a snowstorm, where we're unable to cope as well because we don't have food and necessities stocked.I am on unpaid FMLA time. This means that whenever I make an absence, I do not get paid for that day. While that’s fine and all, unfortunately I had to miss a bunch of days as a result. I’ve tried to go back to work but sadly, as I said, the symptoms would flare up and I'd be unable to work for days. I have no clue if there is a way to get financial support for this. I’ve always hoped I could just recover and go back ASAP. I've tried asking folks about solutions with not many answers. I know I can just quit my job and go on disability but I'm afraid I'll never be able to be rehired. It's the only job I've had where I've legitimately enjoyed it. My first two jobs were difficult because of how much it relied on socialization with strangers and performing task revolving around customers. I have Asperger's Syndrome/ASD. Combined with the anxiety/panic attacks and the fatigue, especially in my current state, I would not be able to function. I'm afraid my anxiety/panic will flare up if I ever had a job in grocery/retail, again unless I specifically trained myself to suppress empathy or "mask" better.My current job isn't ideal, but god is it ALOT better than my previous two. I wonder what will happen if I ever make enough cash to decently support myself. Not just doing commissions but maybe work as a freelancer. I don't wanna just "do art" like the typical starving artist, I'd love to contribute to projects for money or the prospect of financial gain. For now, this is the only job I got. ($20/hr; 5 days a week).As I said, I’m sloooooly feeling better. However, I’ve missed many payments on my electric bike that now, my Affirm account is reported delinquent and needs to be resolved. There’s other aspects such as having used up all of my Robinhood savings for groceries/bills months ago.What’s worse is that whenever I’ve had these flare-ups, it made it hard to work on commissions. So, not only were these symptoms making me miss work, but I couldn’t even work on commissions or artpacks to compensate. So, I was basically just fucked.I’m hoping this will change. Like I said, I’m slowly feeling better. I’m hoping to recover. However, all of the BS I’ve endured due to the IBS/fatigue symptoms has resulted in me needing to make it up. Sadly, work won’t accept overtime for the moment so I can’t make more money that way. This means I’ll have to rely on commissions, art drives, artpacks, etc.Conclusion:It’s gonna be difficult because I’m still not 100% better. I’m hoping I can go to work tomorrow (as of writing this). I worry I still won’t get better. It’s made it hard to truly relax because I always have commissions to work on (as well as the ones I’ve yet to start) and worry about bills and stuff. My hope is I can finally work and focus on commissions/artpack, alongside. I have an 8 hour job where I work 5 days a week. That means I have less time to finish off commissions.I know all of this has made me appear in a very bad light. That month of August where I felt a lot better…it felt so good. It felt like MAYBE all of my health issues would go away. That I can go back to work and alongside make art and maybe work on commissions. Maybe make an artpack folks would be willing to purchase. Then...I'd crash and the fatigue just made me feel like I was just mooching off others just because, at this point, I exist.While not exactly a dark thought, it made me wonder what good was I if I was unable to support my parents/others as well as produce art not only do others enjoy but I can enjoy...that I can somehow make bank off this. Of COURSE you shouldn't go into something purely for financial gains but...I don't really have much other skills. I can't learn much when I'm constantly low on money and worrying about finances. I had to quit learning programming because it was just too frustrating to learn and it wouldn't immediately contribute to my workflow for doing commissions. I'd LOVE to make a game but right now, it's less fun to do so. MAYBE I can do a comic or short animations but who knows.I don't wanna ramble for much longer. I've tried explaining enough. This is so everyone knows whats been going on with me. I know I still have a bunch of commissions to do. I know I still need to make the next part of the Renamon Weight Gain Drive. The Halloween Artpack only made $50 overall. I appreciate the folks that had purchased it and I while I had to sacrifice having more pics so I can get it out ASAP, admittedly my expectations were a bit high.If you would like to donate to me, I would REALLY appreciate it. You can donate to my Ko-fi or to my Paypal.Sorry for being a piece of shit.

Description
Please read my journal for more info: Update on my Health and Finances (PLEASE READ)Hello! I hope all of you are doing well! I’ve wanted to make something like this for a while in order to update everyone on my current situation.Health Update:As some may know, I’m not a stranger to health issues. Three years ago, I had constant anxiety and panic attacks, along with fatigue. The anxiety slowly went away but I still dealt with the fatigue. This year, I was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Taking the medication helped a lot. However, I still ended up feeling crappy after weeks of feeling on top of the world. This takes us to late July and early August.I had noticed more fatigue and discomfort in my stomach. It wasn’t sharp pains or aches or whatnot, however. It would usually be accompanied by fatigue and forcing myself to burp (and rarely acid that I can feel in my throat). Rarely would it result in palpitations that seem to go away after burping a few times. This made it difficult to work at my main production job. It felt like my head was heavy (including my limbs, depending on when I ate). On a side note, I also noticed that I wasn’t “going” as much (It’s TMI but let’s say I definitely needed to increase my fiber). This made it where if I was performing a job that involved standing, I was afraid of falling or tripping over equipment and getting injured. Thus, I ended up going on FMLA (More about that in the “Finance Update” section) during August.Long story short, after trying out different diets and seeing two doctors, I’d usually feel fine but then there'd be a flareup again. This made it impossible to work because of how distracting, frustrating, and unsafe it was. Within the past two weeks or so, I had met a doctor who had finally explained what was going on with me. That I needed to increase my fiber intake and decrease my fat consumption. While I’ve generally been doing fine, the symptoms (mostly the fatigue) are still there.From what I understand, I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). As such, I’m gonna try to treat it as such. One of those things involves going on a lactose-free diet.Few days back, my mom suggested I go on a lactose-free diet. I agreed since others seemed to have felt better after doing so. So far, I don’t feel too bad but the symptoms are still lingering. I don’t know if it has something to do with my stomach slowly recovering or the fact I’m not moving enough (despite trying to talk for an hour before sundown, and getting up every once in awhile). I’m working on increasing walking and water hydration, though, since that’s what the doctor also recommended.This is where I switch over to the other aspect of this update:Financial Update:I imagine most know more about this. It’s something that’s frustrated me a lot. I’ve been struggling financially to not only buy some groceries for myself but it’s made it harder to pay off certain bills. These bills are mostly for the main house. I live with my parents but I contribute by paying for the electricity and the internet. I also helped by paying for gas, weekly. With all of this, my mom is more worried about the bills. Every Time I miss work, that’s less money I have to help out and try to purchase food that will help with my diet. I feel guilt whenever I'm not able to help out as much. Our parents aren't that rich. Especially now with the economy and inflation getting bad. I'm afraid when there's a scenario, like a snowstorm, where we're unable to cope as well because we don't have food and necessities stocked.I am on unpaid FMLA time. This means that whenever I make an absence, I do not get paid for that day. While that’s fine and all, unfortunately I had to miss a bunch of days as a result. I’ve tried to go back to work but sadly, as I said, the symptoms would flare up and I'd be unable to work for days. I have no clue if there is a way to get financial support for this. I’ve always hoped I could just recover and go back ASAP. I've tried asking folks about solutions with not many answers. I know I can just quit my job and go on disability but I'm afraid I'll never be able to be rehired. It's the only job I've had where I've legitimately enjoyed it. My first two jobs were difficult because of how much it relied on socialization with strangers and performing task revolving around customers. I have Asperger's Syndrome/ASD. Combined with the anxiety/panic attacks and the fatigue, especially in my current state, I would not be able to function. I'm afraid my anxiety/panic will flare up if I ever had a job in grocery/retail, again unless I specifically trained myself to suppress empathy or "mask" better.My current job isn't ideal, but god is it ALOT better than my previous two. I wonder what will happen if I ever make enough cash to decently support myself. Not just doing commissions but maybe work as a freelancer. I don't wanna just "do art" like the typical starving artist, I'd love to contribute to projects for money or the prospect of financial gain. For now, this is the only job I got. ($20/hr; 5 days a week).As I said, I’m sloooooly feeling better. However, I’ve missed many payments on my electric bike that now, my Affirm account is reported delinquent and needs to be resolved. There’s other aspects such as having used up all of my Robinhood savings for groceries/bills months ago.What’s worse is that whenever I’ve had these flare-ups, it made it hard to work on commissions. So, not only were these symptoms making me miss work, but I couldn’t even work on commissions or artpacks to compensate. So, I was basically just fucked.I’m hoping this will change. Like I said, I’m slowly feeling better. I’m hoping to recover. However, all of the BS I’ve endured due to the IBS/fatigue symptoms has resulted in me needing to make it up. Sadly, work won’t accept overtime for the moment so I can’t make more money that way. This means I’ll have to rely on commissions, art drives, artpacks, etc.Conclusion:It’s gonna be difficult because I’m still not 100% better. I’m hoping I can go to work tomorrow (as of writing this). I worry I still won’t get better. It’s made it hard to truly relax because I always have commissions to work on (as well as the ones I’ve yet to start) and worry about bills and stuff. My hope is I can finally work and focus on commissions/artpack, alongside. I have an 8 hour job where I work 5 days a week. That means I have less time to finish off commissions.I know all of this has made me appear in a very bad light. That month of August where I felt a lot better…it felt so good. It felt like MAYBE all of my health issues would go away. That I can go back to work and alongside make art and maybe work on commissions. Maybe make an artpack folks would be willing to purchase. Then...I'd crash and the fatigue just made me feel like I was just mooching off others just because, at this point, I exist.While not exactly a dark thought, it made me wonder what good was I if I was unable to support my parents/others as well as produce art not only do others enjoy but I can enjoy...that I can somehow make bank off this. Of COURSE you shouldn't go into something purely for financial gains but...I don't really have much other skills. I can't learn much when I'm constantly low on money and worrying about finances. I had to quit learning programming because it was just too frustrating to learn and it wouldn't immediately contribute to my workflow for doing commissions. I'd LOVE to make a game but right now, it's less fun to do so. MAYBE I can do a comic or short animations but who knows.I don't wanna ramble for much longer. I've tried explaining enough. This is so everyone knows whats been going on with me. I know I still have a bunch of commissions to do. I know I still need to make the next part of the Renamon Weight Gain Drive. The Halloween Artpack only made $50 overall. I appreciate the folks that had purchased it and I while I had to sacrifice having more pics so I can get it out ASAP, admittedly my expectations were a bit high.If you would like to donate to me, I would REALLY appreciate it. You can donate to my Ko-fi or to my Paypal.Sorry for being a piece of shit.