HOME | DD

Description
When it’s hanging in the balance
All that you love
The things you live for
What will you do?

Will you run?
Or will you be strong
For both of us
Lies can’t save you now

The lies you clung to so tightly
The lies you thought could save you
Save us
There was never anything there,
Was there?

A simple illusion
You wanted to save me
From what pain you thought
That I couldn’t handle

I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting
The lies you fed to me
And I ate them all
Like a child starving
For truth
Love, life, and happiness

And now I cling
To all that you were
But clinging to what
What were you?

I can’t bear to think
That you were all a lie
I want to think
To know in my heart
That part of it was real
But I can’t
I can’t bring myself to false hopes
And dreams of you

I can’t stand
To be so dependent
On what I never had

I have millions of questions
Answerless questions
Hardly worth thinking about
But I dwell on them restlessly

Thoughts of you
Occupy every corner
Of my slowly deteriorating mind
Of the slowly deteriorating “truth”

Your legion of lies
Loom over me
Pushing me further
And further
Under the water

I’m slowly sinking
Under the pressure
Cracking
How can they not see me?
Crumbling
I’m on a ledge
Why won’t they save me?
Pull me up

But I can’t say a word
I can’t utter a scream
They wouldn’t hear me
They wouldn’t listen
Even if I could tell them

My feelings mean nothing
And I hide behind this smile
Growing ever quieter
Distancing myself from them
How would they know
What I’m going through

I’ll face it alone
I’ll be brave
I’ll overcome the lies
The hatred
The clandestine love
I still hold for you
Growing ever deeper
Even through your lies

I won’t cry out
I won’t break
I won’t crumble
I will stay strong
Growing harder
With every passing second

Convincing myself it’s for me
But it’s for them
They wouldn’t accept me
If I weren’t the cheerful me
That they’ve always known
They’d point and stare
If they knew

I’ll stay strong
I don’t need the attention
I’ll keep this to myself
A secret with me
Magnificently masked

I’m so far gone now
I couldn’t move if I tried
I’ve been sinking for years
I’m in over my head
My breath is choked
Gasping through my lies
Trying to save myself

But I’m not strong enough
Not good enough
I couldn’t make it if I tried
I need a hand
Someone strong enough to pull me out
Someone who could pull me up
Help
Please help me

I can’t do this on my own

Three long years
I’ve waited for you
I’ll wait for you still
Maybe someday you’ll see
What I could never tell

Maybe one day you’ll know
What I never told you
You’ll know I love you
You could be the one to help me
To save me

Or maybe it’s all a dream
And I’ll wake up
And I’ll be 8 again
When everything was simple
I could play
And laugh
And mean everything I said

And I’m in too deep
I’ll never come up
I can’t even talk
I’ll laugh my hollow laugh
And smile my meaningless smile

But it’s all a lie
I’ll be just fine
Pretending I’m okay
I’m far from lonely
And I cling to the thought
That at least people can still stand
To look at me

I wonder how they don’t see
The monstrous lies
That bubble under me
Threatening to boil over

Who knows what will happen tomorrow
Maybe you will be the one to save me
Or maybe it’s all another illusion
And your lies will never stop
And I’ll face it on my own

Description
When it’s hanging in the balance
All that you love
The things you live for
What will you do?

Will you run?
Or will you be strong
For both of us
Lies can’t save you now

The lies you clung to so tightly
The lies you thought could save you
Save us
There was never anything there,
Was there?

A simple illusion
You wanted to save me
From what pain you thought
That I couldn’t handle

I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting
The lies you fed to me
And I ate them all
Like a child starving
For truth
Love, life, and happiness

And now I cling
To all that you were
But clinging to what
What were you?

I can’t bear to think
That you were all a lie
I want to think
To know in my heart
That part of it was real
But I can’t
I can’t bring myself to false hopes
And dreams of you

I can’t stand
To be so dependent
On what I never had

I have millions of questions
Answerless questions
Hardly worth thinking about
But I dwell on them restlessly

Thoughts of you
Occupy every corner
Of my slowly deteriorating mind
Of the slowly deteriorating “truth”

Your legion of lies
Loom over me
Pushing me further
And further
Under the water

I’m slowly sinking
Under the pressure
Cracking
How can they not see me?
Crumbling
I’m on a ledge
Why won’t they save me?
Pull me up

But I can’t say a word
I can’t utter a scream
They wouldn’t hear me
They wouldn’t listen
Even if I could tell them

My feelings mean nothing
And I hide behind this smile
Growing ever quieter
Distancing myself from them
How would they know
What I’m going through

I’ll face it alone
I’ll be brave
I’ll overcome the lies
The hatred
The clandestine love
I still hold for you
Growing ever deeper
Even through your lies

I won’t cry out
I won’t break
I won’t crumble
I will stay strong
Growing harder
With every passing second

Convincing myself it’s for me
But it’s for them
They wouldn’t accept me
If I weren’t the cheerful me
That they’ve always known
They’d point and stare
If they knew

I’ll stay strong
I don’t need the attention
I’ll keep this to myself
A secret with me
Magnificently masked

I’m so far gone now
I couldn’t move if I tried
I’ve been sinking for years
I’m in over my head
My breath is choked
Gasping through my lies
Trying to save myself

But I’m not strong enough
Not good enough
I couldn’t make it if I tried
I need a hand
Someone strong enough to pull me out
Someone who could pull me up
Help
Please help me

I can’t do this on my own

Three long years
I’ve waited for you
I’ll wait for you still
Maybe someday you’ll see
What I could never tell

Maybe one day you’ll know
What I never told you
You’ll know I love you
You could be the one to help me
To save me

Or maybe it’s all a dream
And I’ll wake up
And I’ll be 8 again
When everything was simple
I could play
And laugh
And mean everything I said

And I’m in too deep
I’ll never come up
I can’t even talk
I’ll laugh my hollow laugh
And smile my meaningless smile

But it’s all a lie
I’ll be just fine
Pretending I’m okay
I’m far from lonely
And I cling to the thought
That at least people can still stand
To look at me

I wonder how they don’t see
The monstrous lies
That bubble under me
Threatening to boil over

Who knows what will happen tomorrow
Maybe you will be the one to save me
Or maybe it’s all another illusion
And your lies will never stop
And I’ll face it on my own