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thenightsend β Malfunctioning Machine
Published: 2003-05-08 00:43:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 682; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 23
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Description
He pulled me closerI broke apart then...
Yes, again
I was bleeding, screaming emotions
And he was just⦠bleeding
His eyes rolled from his skull
Bursting unto the floor
A billion pieces of iridescent glass
Delicate works ruined at last
That little piece of machinery
Tucked beneath my ribs
Skipped a few beats
Not functioning as it did before
Taking into consideration
So much more
And he stood there
Without functioning eyes
My little machine ticked
As the control center processed his lies
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Comments: 19
I agree with anijoanan. and I wish I understood it more as well.. this is a very well writen peace. nice job
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This is a wonderful poem. "yes, again"
You make it clear that it happens over and over for you. A never ending circle. Eyes that once showed love are so empty they may as well not exist. It's full of pain but still beautiful.
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i really like this, then again i really like all your stuff. great job with this. it seemed to flow perfectly and the theme was great.
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I'm so jealous. You're so amazing. This is beautiful. The metaphors are amazing. I love it.
*jesse
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Do you realize how insanely abstract this is? I get the feel I do from a lot of peoples poetry, that "I loved him, he lied to me. He hurt me.. blah blah blah".. you know what Im talking about.
but you took that emotion thats so common and so often written horribly about and made it just fucking amazing. I mean.. i could be entirely wrong. but this poem is open enough everyone can interpet it their own way.. and now im just rambling and the sort. Wonderfully done, babe.
-brita
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"And he stood there
Without functioning eyes
My little machine ticked
As the control center processed his lies"
That final stanza was great and topped up a fantastic poem.
Sorry your day wasn't the best yesterday. How is today?
Regards,
Valar.
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you already know that i like this one.
It's really good
(is honoured to be helpful with it)
i love how more and more gets revealed as the poem unfolds, it's great.
the machine theme is awesome also!
~coda~
"Maybe we once were human, but if we cry we will rust"
-Marilyn Manson
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wow, i think that might be one of my favorites of yours, they are all awesome but that was... wow. +fav as well.
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this is beautiful my friend.. i'm a bit mystified as to what it is about though. wonderful structure and imagery.
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Wow, this is great. I love it. The last stanza was particularly good. nice work. Oh and sweet relation of heart to mashine.
*.*;
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excellent poem, i don't know if there is a specific context that it's ment in, or some story that it goes with, but barring that i think i understand this poem. i like it, and would even if i didn't understand it.
-theris
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Bursting unto the floor
A billion pieces of iridescent glass
Delicate works ruined at last
i really like these lines, very good.
the poem is very emotional and very good, its beautifully written and the machinery theme is used very well throughout the poem.
i wish i understood more of what it was about...im not sure i get it.
good poem
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The poem is beautiful... I just wish I understood it better. There's obviously a lot of emotion and personal meaning tied up in this one.
And he stood there
Without functioning eyes
My little machine ticked
As the control center processed his lies
I really like this stanza. The rhyme scheme works completely, and it ties the whole poem together. Good poem, I really like your work.
Anijo
P.S. Wolves are great but incredibly misunderstood. I used the image I have of wolves in my mind, which is intelligent and stealthy as opposed to bloodthirsty and tear you down where you stand. Read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. It's an excellent fantasy series where the wolves are on the good side
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Aww it's beautiful lindsay, and yes, I am spell master spell
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