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Description
I made this drawing as a penance act, and also an apology and request of God's forgiveness, because of the following points I will touch and so, according to my Catholic faith, and the tradition of the Church, I must show repentance for sins, heresies or mistakes I may have promoted (directly or indirectly) or committed myself.

1) I supported (in thought and word) and thought that the LGBT movement manifestations were made for the meaning and purpose such movement was made for; defending those most vulnerable who are discriminated by their sexual orientation per se, and their non-conforming gender identity. While I've never been into a pride parade (neither planned to do so or want to do so) I though those manifestations were made to create conscience in regards to inclusion and also promoting protection of those who are actually gay or actually trans (which are legitimate neurological conditions which are proven and studied by the scientific community) and suffer acts of discrimination for just being themselves, which is not fair, as everyone still has the right to life, are creatures made by God and given a dignity by God and Christ himself, and as the Catechism of the Church have stated, they as well can achieve holiness and live according to the Gospel as long as they live in chastity according to their state of life. The thing is I was thinking about people who live their lives harming nobody neither promoting and immoral behavior, and mostly keeping their business where it belongs, and not making a whole festival about it (pride turned an angel into the Devil). So I apologize because the more I've seen the anthropological deterioration and how spaces made for protection of vulnerable individuals were invaded by sadomasochistic and sexual acts, as well as unacceptable immoral groups that promote death, and promote the violation and systematic infringement of the dignity of Child of God every single human has as a creature, and every Christian also as part of the Body of Christ. I have appreciated the terrible lies that are being spread, the immoral and terrible behavior, the misuse and claiming of individuals to have neurological conditions they do not have just to wear a costume out of its benefits, utilizing someone else's suffering and vulnerability as a costume to receive benefit, which is evil. Also the massive infringement of the rights of parents to educate and have their children, of children no to have to be exposed to sexual and mature content and behavior until they actually reach maturity enough, the infringement and massive stealing of children's innocence and happiness, promoting confusion, promoting, self harm, promoting a narrative of "acceptance" in having to "medically transition" to just be themselves, when God created them to be just as they are, being God more willing to accept us just as we are rather that we ourselves are willing to, when "conversion" is actually embracing oneself being oneself, it's just nonsense.
While religious Islamic, Jew, Christian or any kind of religious radicalism is wrong because it also doesn't comply with it's own fundaments, the "gender ideology" pushed by progressive and politically radical groups works the same way or worse, because it tends to harm people's bodies and turn them into something they can't become (and don't have to to be themselves), leaving them (scientifically proven) with lifetime lasting side effects such as: being sterile, not being able to de transition and live a normal life as the individual was born, being mocked, humiliated, traumatized, and left alone in a mental health crisis.
Although there are specific cases of people that claim that gender "transitioning" has made them happy, not taking into consideration it is a mental condition that affects actually very few population to the extent they only feel relief in transition, has lead to many people going to the same process, without proper Magnetic Resonance studies, proper psychological, medical and even ecclesial accompanying, precisely for the individuals to really understand who they are, and most probably get to the conclusion that, if gender has nothing to do with genitalia, why does it matter then? What has to be removed is the stereotyping, the preconceptions, and the false beliefs that: men can't cry, women can't work or decide, man can't have nails done, and women can't be strong and even manly. As God created everyone different, there was people made for breaking gender stereotypes, and so men and women could understand each other, today these people are bridges of understanding, and precisely that's why God wants them as he created them, not because they are wrong, but precisely because they're fine just as they are, being themselves, we humans are wrong, are the ones that harm, the ones that don't understand, the ones that judge, with preconceptions and stereotypes. All of the above mentioned unethical and wrong behaviors and promotion of these, as well as abortion, violate the human rights, to life, to freedom of expression of the individual as is, and also are violations against the law of God: Fifth Commandment: You shall not kill, Sixth Commandment: You shall not commit adultery or impure acts. Also these behaviors establish an infringement against the dignity of each person's body as is, which are every single one temples of the Holy Spirit and also wanted by God as they are. Gender is a social thing, so if its such a thing, why is that need and urge for removing people's genitals a requirement for them to be themselves? that is being promoted and pushed by the LGBTQ+ community from it's most radical sectors, which is concerning. Also the above mentioned behaviors I have stated, supporting the LGBT current beliefs, incurs in the commission of three heresies of my faith: 1) Rejection of the Universality of the Sixth Commandment, 2) Rejection of the absolute Character of the Sixth Commandment, 3) Rejection of the purpose of fighting to avoid occasion of sin. As well said by Fr. Jesusmary Missigbeto, Opus Dei. Unfortunately, we are living in a world that lacks love, understanding, compassion, empathy, self understanding, on which schools' philosophy, religion, humanities subjects have been mostly removed, preventing humans from understanding their humanity, and as a consequence, being less human, and allowing being treated rather as products or possessions, which is a terrible situation we must face in order to fight for peace, and a better world, and a dignified life for each and everybody.

Myself, I though on transgender as a possibility, but as the Canadian Psychologist Jordan Peterson has explained; 1 in 10 men are different, more creative with more personality traits associated to women and vice versa, people like that can be Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson, George Michael, among others. A lot of them living wonderful lives, being married, having children, or being religious, being successful professionals, so that doesn't make them any less of a man/woman, and that's wonderful, they were made to add colors to the painting of life, and God himself intended them to do so.

2) I tried to adopt a personal gender tag for my identity, that was convenient to validate that immoral behavior and/or could be useful for third parties to involve my art or writings as a supportive stance of the LGBTQ movement and ideology, which I don't and a lot of gay and trans people don't do either, so my fursonas did, by this means, I have to publicly state that my fursonas' crossdressing isn't by any way a expression of desire for mutilation of my genitals, either a denial of my condition of being male, it's just an expression of femininity as a muse that women and everything related to them are for me, that moves me and makes me "groove" to their creativeness, their emotions, their strength, the beauty of womanhood (which has also been damaged by a lot of movements that claim women's rights, but behave without dignity) without any desire to usurp or take womanhood or live as someone I am not, without any desire or aim to offend or usurp women's gender, I'm just a gender non-conforming person, and I enjoy simple things and experiences like experimenting how women feel, think, dresss like, desire, and share with them a broad and wide understanding of their gender, which is such a beautiful gift that God gave us males to admire, and love so deeply are a treasure. I must state my fursonas are just femboys who aren't female, and even having women names assigned, they are male, as I am, and just enjoy experiences most commonly associated with women, such as (and limits to); fashion, feelings, romance, art, creativeness, sensibility, aesthetic, and cultural elements. I must say I enjoy sharing those things with women, and when I do, I do not search for any means to usurp their gender, nor to deny mine, commit an obscene act, or portray any lewd image that would harm women, in fact I'm super conservative with clothes in all ways. I only wear feminine clothes at home and secret, and not in such way I may be perceived as a woman, or that I try to fool anybody to think I'm one.

By this means, and according to my faith, I have to quit calling myself "trans" and rejecting the use of such tags as my identity, also understanding the repercussions this letter will cause me (probable rejection by the LGBTQ community, and also probable rejection and misunderstanding by most Christian communities) I have accepted doing this as penance, as St. Francis of Assisi humiliated himself in front people to promote conversion, and people felt empathy and mercy for him (being himself very far away from immorality and sin, being happy being himself, and being able to feel loved by God being just as he was), I do not (and can't) expect respect, neither understanding for my behavior, but as everyone else, I'm an imperfect sinner, which means a lot of what feels like a refuge to me may be an insult for those who believe in Christ, I do not know about Christ himself, but I'm in the responsibility to promote conversion, and promote a healthy and dignified life for all of you who are readin this becasue you are my brothers and isters, I don't care of youre a femboy or a tomboy girl, I love you so much I myself want to tell you please, PLEASE do not harm yourselves, you were meant to be and live as is, you are beautifull, I love you all wholeheartedly, I mostly hardly understand myself and I know how it feels to feel alone, misunderstood, thrown away, rejected, hated, even by awhole community, feeling "left over", but GOD LOVES YOU, JESUS LOVES YOU, MARY LOVES YOU, and they want you AS IS, I can tell you myself, there is no transition needed to be youself, a gender non conforming brain is just as right as it can be, cultural things remain cultural, be youself, express your love for colors, for a colorful life, for creativity, for happiness of living and giving Glory to God, who deserves it, nobody's opinion is important, GOD'S opinion is the only one that matters, and I'm pretty sure he loves each and single one of you. I have been a witness and object of God's mercy all my life, and even I have proof that I'm living just because he loved me first, even though all of my imperfections and even my worst mistakes.

Taking into consideration I was consecrated to God, through the hands of the Mother of Christ, Mary, with approval of the Catholic Church, and it's Ministry, by the hand of the Heralds of the Gospel last year, taking into consideration that as a member of the Confraternity of the Passion, that my mission is to empathize with those who suffer, and promote the cure to all evil and sin, which is Christ, in favor of those who are further away from God for the salvation of souls and the universal call to Holiness, and taking into consideration I'm still a baptized Catholic, I must say truth (which I have proof of):

-There are only two genders, because the statement of Judith Butler "sex is to nature what gender is to culture" is putting our genders which are a gift on relativity, turning them into costumes, and making them a toy, harming our dignity and identity, because if genitals don't make me a woman, how a handbag or a skirt make me a woman? It won't, because that not being a "woman" that's being "feminine" which is a social construct. Male and Female aren't constructs, the construct is around the social behaviors likes and roles that have been associated as a stereotype to each gender, those barriers were broken a lot of time ago, in the 1800 boy wore dresses too, in fact, a boy didn't wore trousers or pants until he reached "manhood" growing up to adulthood, and many stayed in dresses just by being considered "feminine" or not "man enough" to actually be considered man (see Breeching (Boys) on google, and the European tradition). Blue was girls ' color because it was related to the Blessed Virgin Mary, while Pink was "assigned to boys" because it represented passion, and also was related to red. boys already broke their boundaries! they got out of uncomfortable and sometimes "humiliating" dresses that prevented them from being perceived as they wanted to be, which was breaking a gender tradition in Europe. We have already broken many barriers, can you imagine boys being forced to wear dresses until age 15-16 again? I bet not even girls would find it comfortable... The point is men are men, women are women, regardless of the clothing you have on, you are you, the "accident" (appearance) doesn't change your substance, you aren't less men by liking colors, or any material stuff, but any clothing that makes a lewd, immoral and unethical image out of you, is an aggression against your dignity, and other's dignity.

I will win enemies, but that's the truth, I like purses, handbags, skirts, so many girly things, yet I don't dress to fool anybody, neither deny me, neither have a lewd appearance, I often wear female associated accessories like wallets and so, and haven't got any problem further than some odd looks, which I don't have to care about, I'm clearly male, my likes don't determine my identity, these are part of it, and I can dominate them, I can change them, I have control over them so it isn't any harm to anybody's dignity.

- Abortion (please avoid reading if you're not willing to respect or understand others' points of view, thank you) is an abomination, and I'll tell you why; When the union of the gamete telomeres, with conception, it is scientifically proven there is life. Women's bodies are sacred, as well as men's, that's why precisely God has homosexual sex as a sin, it is not bad because it is forbidden, it is forbidden because of its dignity threatening and health threatening risk. God reserved sex as a gift to be used only as a method for the conservation and procreation of humanity, that means only a male and a female (with their genitals) who are married to the eyes of the Church and whose union is blessed by Christ, are authorized to have sex, in the moment they decide to have children, so to procreate. The rest of us; single people, lay committed singles, lay committed singles who are united to a order or congregation by promises or votes, religious people like nuns, religious sisters, friars, and monks, as well as clergy (due to the nature of their disposition to serve) must observe chastity according to the state of life. The curious thing is you may be asking why? and it is hard to get a simple answer, fortunately, I have found the was to explain: Any sexual activity outside of intended procreation (between a married man or a woman) can lead to terrible results; sexual transmission illnesses, having to marry because God decided the people who had sex irresponsibly to bring a child to the world, and other outcomes, most of them threaten and infringe human dignity of their bodies, as a consequence it is a sin, so the soul gets dirty and can't be in peace, also having to deal with the consequences, see? it's not bad because it was forbidden, but forbidden because of the harm and damage to dignity and bodies, chastity is better that what people thinks as just "boring", but also let's not lie, we mostly desire sexual pleasure to compensate mental health issues or crisis situations, we use it as a pain killer, as a dose of Xanax, or a dose of any kind of drug to sooth a pain that can't be soothed so the only escape we find is by escaping reality or being unconscious, which also tends to lead to cases like p0rn addiction, and that's what isn't good. We are like the apostles on the boat, Jesus is with each one of us, he died for each one personally, not as a set, so he knows each one by their name and life, doesn't matter what did you do in the past, when Jesus was crucified to save us all, he actually was bowing to you to make a marriage proposal, by which accepting the faith, are do say a wonderful and one of a kind opportunity "yes" to him, so he becomes the "only husband" and sole owner of a soul, God loved humanity so much he gave his only son, not to condemn us, but that through him we became saved and could attend the call to holiness. So when you know Jesus is there, and still m4sturbate, still doubt about how much he loves you, and still go for that "coping mechanism" outside of him or on his back, he is hurt, logically, no husband like his wife to be cheating or be "self consoling" on her own, on his back, because he want to know what's happening, he doesn't want to judge you, we Catholics very unfortunately as still humans tend to judge, not reflecting the merciful and compassionate real image of Christ, he is a very jealous God, and he really wants you to find all that consolation (*not sexually*) that soothing, that hope, that warmth, that understanding, that empathy, that mercy, on him, and him alone, because his Sorrowful and Indescribable painful Passion was precisely for you to have no freaking doubt how much he loves you, so when you fail, and the devil wants to discourage you, you don't get discouraged. Jesus being God made himself human in everything less sin, so he shared all our temptations, lack of feeling loved, abandonment and even our sick and perverted tortured and punishments we have faced as humans, so there no one could say ever "God doesn't understand me". The only reason we tend to justify sin, we tend not to quit, is because we still don't trust enough, which results very harmful (more than sin) to him as God, because he did absolutely everything for you to know you are loved and understood beyond limit. that means he loves you, but hates your sin, don't ever feel he hates you, the devil tricks me everyday, he tries to make me feel despair and unloved by God, my worst temptation, just because we wants you and me, vulnerable, and without God, stuck in sin. Sex gives temporary pleasure, placebo, but doesn't and won't heal your wounds, Jesus is the cure, the only one, he doesn't need you to be clear of sin and perfect so for you to love him, he just wants you to love him as you are! Sin will only get away when you cross that bridge, hug him and let you past, wounds, sin, mistakes, hopelessness and despair GO.

In case a person has been raped, the child still has no fault of who he or she was conceived by which is a human being, and also a subject to law and a citizen, a Child of God. Abortion is a huge HUGE abomination, it isn't the solution, we are selfish, we don't look at other's suffering, that's our problem. People rather have pets that adopting a child that's destined to be parentless, when that child could have a dignified home, with loving parents, and a happy ending, we are the ones who let people die starving having resources to help, we are the one that ignore good and prefer evil, we are sinners, that's why we must get back to him to be saved, because you will only appreciate the horror of sin when you get out of it, all sinful lifestyles lead to a unhappy miserable life, no doubt about it.

I committed not trusting him, I didn't trust him enough, offended him, had discussions with him, I got mad at him, he was lovingly there, I just felt I was done, and got conscious of how harmful I was turning to myself when I felt Jesus was crying, CRYING, because of who I was turning myself into, having the corruption of feeling unloved, of feeling Godless, of feeling hopeless, and of course, what can it be the result of that either than worsening sin? I got to more frequent p0rn addiction, soothing "pills" stupidity, idiotness, foolishness. I give you all my testimony because I broke a relationship I can't express how harmful it has been for me to feel out of God, how it feels to be hopeless, not living but surviving, because of living each day as a day less before hell, but being also in a hell itself (and I never went to any sexual spectacle, I have never consumed drugs, I have never had a woman, I'm even a virgin person although that's not a valid consecration for men as well as it is for women as consecrated virgins but well, I have never been obscene with clothes, but I wanted to "be myself", got super mad at him one day, said thing I wish I never said, and broke something, I feel terrible, everyday I fight to try to heal his heart, I don't have word to express him how much I need him, how much I failed to recognize him as my best friend, and since I felt I lost him, or that could be nothing will be the same, I really need you all to understand this life ain't no game, there's no time for being a fool, there's only time to work, to pray and to try best to stay with him, so you don't have to fight harder to try to get him back, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

So, my conclusion is clergy have the reason on the diagnosis (although Catechists' dynamics have to change, to preserve youth in God's love, with a more immersive experience) these nowadays ideologies, the computer like ways of thinking of others and ourselves as products rather than brothers and sisters, everything is just getting crazy, youth is getting lost in darkness, and worse is that people don't pray so those souls can be saved, we even lack pastoral to hold so many confused and vulnerable, mentally unstable, anxious children and youth that are in such a desperate need of love and education.

Please keep your family safe from media, TV, watch carefully what your children are looking at, everything is worse than ever before, and before you say I'm just a religious fan and fool. I AM PART OF THAT YOUTH, I FELT "OPPRESSED", THEN WAS FOOLED TO BELIEVE FALSE IDEAS, I THOUGHT LOVING THINGS SOOTHED PAIN, THEN GOT TO THINK "I'M TRANS", THEN LOST MY PRAYER ROUTINE, LOST MY FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD, EVEN FELT I LOST HIM, AND EVEN STILL FIGHT IMPURITY, I have tons of anxiety that has impacted my health, I feel terrible, confused, exhausted, and will keep fighting to spread the voice to people to put their youth in the arms of the only one who really loves them: GOD, JESUS and MARY our Blessed Mother, whose mantle is the only reason I still have a ray of hope to put myself up to date with Jesus and the Church, my lawyer in front of him in my worst cases of despair.

As it is a franciscan thing to accuse oneself, and promote conversion, I hope this helps you prevent from falling in the mistakes that wounded me, so you don't have to be wounded, so you don't lose Jesus, so you don't lose Mary, so you feel alright with yourselves, find any mental health help you need, and reach always to him, who really loves you.

The drawing depicts Maverick (aka Stella) once again as himself, back into the Church, covered by the consecration mantle used by consecrated lay people in the Heralds of the Gospel, and once again, being object of the huge mercy of God, I hope it reflects somehow my regret, repentance and penance, before I set myself for next confession.

Please, let this be a testimony of the great mercy of Jesus towards us all, and let this be a guidance so you don't have to suffer anything.

Maverick Lani belongs to me ©
Artwork made by me ©

You are not authorized to use my artwork, characters or writings in any way without my consent

Description
I made this drawing as a penance act, and also an apology and request of God's forgiveness, because of the following points I will touch and so, according to my Catholic faith, and the tradition of the Church, I must show repentance for sins, heresies or mistakes I may have promoted (directly or indirectly) or committed myself.

1) I supported (in thought and word) and thought that the LGBT movement manifestations were made for the meaning and purpose such movement was made for; defending those most vulnerable who are discriminated by their sexual orientation per se, and their non-conforming gender identity. While I've never been into a pride parade (neither planned to do so or want to do so) I though those manifestations were made to create conscience in regards to inclusion and also promoting protection of those who are actually gay or actually trans (which are legitimate neurological conditions which are proven and studied by the scientific community) and suffer acts of discrimination for just being themselves, which is not fair, as everyone still has the right to life, are creatures made by God and given a dignity by God and Christ himself, and as the Catechism of the Church have stated, they as well can achieve holiness and live according to the Gospel as long as they live in chastity according to their state of life. The thing is I was thinking about people who live their lives harming nobody neither promoting and immoral behavior, and mostly keeping their business where it belongs, and not making a whole festival about it (pride turned an angel into the Devil). So I apologize because the more I've seen the anthropological deterioration and how spaces made for protection of vulnerable individuals were invaded by sadomasochistic and sexual acts, as well as unacceptable immoral groups that promote death, and promote the violation and systematic infringement of the dignity of Child of God every single human has as a creature, and every Christian also as part of the Body of Christ. I have appreciated the terrible lies that are being spread, the immoral and terrible behavior, the misuse and claiming of individuals to have neurological conditions they do not have just to wear a costume out of its benefits, utilizing someone else's suffering and vulnerability as a costume to receive benefit, which is evil. Also the massive infringement of the rights of parents to educate and have their children, of children no to have to be exposed to sexual and mature content and behavior until they actually reach maturity enough, the infringement and massive stealing of children's innocence and happiness, promoting confusion, promoting, self harm, promoting a narrative of "acceptance" in having to "medically transition" to just be themselves, when God created them to be just as they are, being God more willing to accept us just as we are rather that we ourselves are willing to, when "conversion" is actually embracing oneself being oneself, it's just nonsense.
While religious Islamic, Jew, Christian or any kind of religious radicalism is wrong because it also doesn't comply with it's own fundaments, the "gender ideology" pushed by progressive and politically radical groups works the same way or worse, because it tends to harm people's bodies and turn them into something they can't become (and don't have to to be themselves), leaving them (scientifically proven) with lifetime lasting side effects such as: being sterile, not being able to de transition and live a normal life as the individual was born, being mocked, humiliated, traumatized, and left alone in a mental health crisis.
Although there are specific cases of people that claim that gender "transitioning" has made them happy, not taking into consideration it is a mental condition that affects actually very few population to the extent they only feel relief in transition, has lead to many people going to the same process, without proper Magnetic Resonance studies, proper psychological, medical and even ecclesial accompanying, precisely for the individuals to really understand who they are, and most probably get to the conclusion that, if gender has nothing to do with genitalia, why does it matter then? What has to be removed is the stereotyping, the preconceptions, and the false beliefs that: men can't cry, women can't work or decide, man can't have nails done, and women can't be strong and even manly. As God created everyone different, there was people made for breaking gender stereotypes, and so men and women could understand each other, today these people are bridges of understanding, and precisely that's why God wants them as he created them, not because they are wrong, but precisely because they're fine just as they are, being themselves, we humans are wrong, are the ones that harm, the ones that don't understand, the ones that judge, with preconceptions and stereotypes. All of the above mentioned unethical and wrong behaviors and promotion of these, as well as abortion, violate the human rights, to life, to freedom of expression of the individual as is, and also are violations against the law of God: Fifth Commandment: You shall not kill, Sixth Commandment: You shall not commit adultery or impure acts. Also these behaviors establish an infringement against the dignity of each person's body as is, which are every single one temples of the Holy Spirit and also wanted by God as they are. Gender is a social thing, so if its such a thing, why is that need and urge for removing people's genitals a requirement for them to be themselves? that is being promoted and pushed by the LGBTQ+ community from it's most radical sectors, which is concerning. Also the above mentioned behaviors I have stated, supporting the LGBT current beliefs, incurs in the commission of three heresies of my faith: 1) Rejection of the Universality of the Sixth Commandment, 2) Rejection of the absolute Character of the Sixth Commandment, 3) Rejection of the purpose of fighting to avoid occasion of sin. As well said by Fr. Jesusmary Missigbeto, Opus Dei. Unfortunately, we are living in a world that lacks love, understanding, compassion, empathy, self understanding, on which schools' philosophy, religion, humanities subjects have been mostly removed, preventing humans from understanding their humanity, and as a consequence, being less human, and allowing being treated rather as products or possessions, which is a terrible situation we must face in order to fight for peace, and a better world, and a dignified life for each and everybody.

Myself, I though on transgender as a possibility, but as the Canadian Psychologist Jordan Peterson has explained; 1 in 10 men are different, more creative with more personality traits associated to women and vice versa, people like that can be Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson, George Michael, among others. A lot of them living wonderful lives, being married, having children, or being religious, being successful professionals, so that doesn't make them any less of a man/woman, and that's wonderful, they were made to add colors to the painting of life, and God himself intended them to do so.

2) I tried to adopt a personal gender tag for my identity, that was convenient to validate that immoral behavior and/or could be useful for third parties to involve my art or writings as a supportive stance of the LGBTQ movement and ideology, which I don't and a lot of gay and trans people don't do either, so my fursonas did, by this means, I have to publicly state that my fursonas' crossdressing isn't by any way a expression of desire for mutilation of my genitals, either a denial of my condition of being male, it's just an expression of femininity as a muse that women and everything related to them are for me, that moves me and makes me "groove" to their creativeness, their emotions, their strength, the beauty of womanhood (which has also been damaged by a lot of movements that claim women's rights, but behave without dignity) without any desire to usurp or take womanhood or live as someone I am not, without any desire or aim to offend or usurp women's gender, I'm just a gender non-conforming person, and I enjoy simple things and experiences like experimenting how women feel, think, dresss like, desire, and share with them a broad and wide understanding of their gender, which is such a beautiful gift that God gave us males to admire, and love so deeply are a treasure. I must state my fursonas are just femboys who aren't female, and even having women names assigned, they are male, as I am, and just enjoy experiences most commonly associated with women, such as (and limits to); fashion, feelings, romance, art, creativeness, sensibility, aesthetic, and cultural elements. I must say I enjoy sharing those things with women, and when I do, I do not search for any means to usurp their gender, nor to deny mine, commit an obscene act, or portray any lewd image that would harm women, in fact I'm super conservative with clothes in all ways. I only wear feminine clothes at home and secret, and not in such way I may be perceived as a woman, or that I try to fool anybody to think I'm one.

By this means, and according to my faith, I have to quit calling myself "trans" and rejecting the use of such tags as my identity, also understanding the repercussions this letter will cause me (probable rejection by the LGBTQ community, and also probable rejection and misunderstanding by most Christian communities) I have accepted doing this as penance, as St. Francis of Assisi humiliated himself in front people to promote conversion, and people felt empathy and mercy for him (being himself very far away from immorality and sin, being happy being himself, and being able to feel loved by God being just as he was), I do not (and can't) expect respect, neither understanding for my behavior, but as everyone else, I'm an imperfect sinner, which means a lot of what feels like a refuge to me may be an insult for those who believe in Christ, I do not know about Christ himself, but I'm in the responsibility to promote conversion, and promote a healthy and dignified life for all of you who are readin this becasue you are my brothers and isters, I don't care of youre a femboy or a tomboy girl, I love you so much I myself want to tell you please, PLEASE do not harm yourselves, you were meant to be and live as is, you are beautifull, I love you all wholeheartedly, I mostly hardly understand myself and I know how it feels to feel alone, misunderstood, thrown away, rejected, hated, even by awhole community, feeling "left over", but GOD LOVES YOU, JESUS LOVES YOU, MARY LOVES YOU, and they want you AS IS, I can tell you myself, there is no transition needed to be youself, a gender non conforming brain is just as right as it can be, cultural things remain cultural, be youself, express your love for colors, for a colorful life, for creativity, for happiness of living and giving Glory to God, who deserves it, nobody's opinion is important, GOD'S opinion is the only one that matters, and I'm pretty sure he loves each and single one of you. I have been a witness and object of God's mercy all my life, and even I have proof that I'm living just because he loved me first, even though all of my imperfections and even my worst mistakes.

Taking into consideration I was consecrated to God, through the hands of the Mother of Christ, Mary, with approval of the Catholic Church, and it's Ministry, by the hand of the Heralds of the Gospel last year, taking into consideration that as a member of the Confraternity of the Passion, that my mission is to empathize with those who suffer, and promote the cure to all evil and sin, which is Christ, in favor of those who are further away from God for the salvation of souls and the universal call to Holiness, and taking into consideration I'm still a baptized Catholic, I must say truth (which I have proof of):

-There are only two genders, because the statement of Judith Butler "sex is to nature what gender is to culture" is putting our genders which are a gift on relativity, turning them into costumes, and making them a toy, harming our dignity and identity, because if genitals don't make me a woman, how a handbag or a skirt make me a woman? It won't, because that not being a "woman" that's being "feminine" which is a social construct. Male and Female aren't constructs, the construct is around the social behaviors likes and roles that have been associated as a stereotype to each gender, those barriers were broken a lot of time ago, in the 1800 boy wore dresses too, in fact, a boy didn't wore trousers or pants until he reached "manhood" growing up to adulthood, and many stayed in dresses just by being considered "feminine" or not "man enough" to actually be considered man (see Breeching (Boys) on google, and the European tradition). Blue was girls ' color because it was related to the Blessed Virgin Mary, while Pink was "assigned to boys" because it represented passion, and also was related to red. boys already broke their boundaries! they got out of uncomfortable and sometimes "humiliating" dresses that prevented them from being perceived as they wanted to be, which was breaking a gender tradition in Europe. We have already broken many barriers, can you imagine boys being forced to wear dresses until age 15-16 again? I bet not even girls would find it comfortable... The point is men are men, women are women, regardless of the clothing you have on, you are you, the "accident" (appearance) doesn't change your substance, you aren't less men by liking colors, or any material stuff, but any clothing that makes a lewd, immoral and unethical image out of you, is an aggression against your dignity, and other's dignity.

I will win enemies, but that's the truth, I like purses, handbags, skirts, so many girly things, yet I don't dress to fool anybody, neither deny me, neither have a lewd appearance, I often wear female associated accessories like wallets and so, and haven't got any problem further than some odd looks, which I don't have to care about, I'm clearly male, my likes don't determine my identity, these are part of it, and I can dominate them, I can change them, I have control over them so it isn't any harm to anybody's dignity.

- Abortion (please avoid reading if you're not willing to respect or understand others' points of view, thank you) is an abomination, and I'll tell you why; When the union of the gamete telomeres, with conception, it is scientifically proven there is life. Women's bodies are sacred, as well as men's, that's why precisely God has homosexual sex as a sin, it is not bad because it is forbidden, it is forbidden because of its dignity threatening and health threatening risk. God reserved sex as a gift to be used only as a method for the conservation and procreation of humanity, that means only a male and a female (with their genitals) who are married to the eyes of the Church and whose union is blessed by Christ, are authorized to have sex, in the moment they decide to have children, so to procreate. The rest of us; single people, lay committed singles, lay committed singles who are united to a order or congregation by promises or votes, religious people like nuns, religious sisters, friars, and monks, as well as clergy (due to the nature of their disposition to serve) must observe chastity according to the state of life. The curious thing is you may be asking why? and it is hard to get a simple answer, fortunately, I have found the was to explain: Any sexual activity outside of intended procreation (between a married man or a woman) can lead to terrible results; sexual transmission illnesses, having to marry because God decided the people who had sex irresponsibly to bring a child to the world, and other outcomes, most of them threaten and infringe human dignity of their bodies, as a consequence it is a sin, so the soul gets dirty and can't be in peace, also having to deal with the consequences, see? it's not bad because it was forbidden, but forbidden because of the harm and damage to dignity and bodies, chastity is better that what people thinks as just "boring", but also let's not lie, we mostly desire sexual pleasure to compensate mental health issues or crisis situations, we use it as a pain killer, as a dose of Xanax, or a dose of any kind of drug to sooth a pain that can't be soothed so the only escape we find is by escaping reality or being unconscious, which also tends to lead to cases like p0rn addiction, and that's what isn't good. We are like the apostles on the boat, Jesus is with each one of us, he died for each one personally, not as a set, so he knows each one by their name and life, doesn't matter what did you do in the past, when Jesus was crucified to save us all, he actually was bowing to you to make a marriage proposal, by which accepting the faith, are do say a wonderful and one of a kind opportunity "yes" to him, so he becomes the "only husband" and sole owner of a soul, God loved humanity so much he gave his only son, not to condemn us, but that through him we became saved and could attend the call to holiness. So when you know Jesus is there, and still m4sturbate, still doubt about how much he loves you, and still go for that "coping mechanism" outside of him or on his back, he is hurt, logically, no husband like his wife to be cheating or be "self consoling" on her own, on his back, because he want to know what's happening, he doesn't want to judge you, we Catholics very unfortunately as still humans tend to judge, not reflecting the merciful and compassionate real image of Christ, he is a very jealous God, and he really wants you to find all that consolation (*not sexually*) that soothing, that hope, that warmth, that understanding, that empathy, that mercy, on him, and him alone, because his Sorrowful and Indescribable painful Passion was precisely for you to have no freaking doubt how much he loves you, so when you fail, and the devil wants to discourage you, you don't get discouraged. Jesus being God made himself human in everything less sin, so he shared all our temptations, lack of feeling loved, abandonment and even our sick and perverted tortured and punishments we have faced as humans, so there no one could say ever "God doesn't understand me". The only reason we tend to justify sin, we tend not to quit, is because we still don't trust enough, which results very harmful (more than sin) to him as God, because he did absolutely everything for you to know you are loved and understood beyond limit. that means he loves you, but hates your sin, don't ever feel he hates you, the devil tricks me everyday, he tries to make me feel despair and unloved by God, my worst temptation, just because we wants you and me, vulnerable, and without God, stuck in sin. Sex gives temporary pleasure, placebo, but doesn't and won't heal your wounds, Jesus is the cure, the only one, he doesn't need you to be clear of sin and perfect so for you to love him, he just wants you to love him as you are! Sin will only get away when you cross that bridge, hug him and let you past, wounds, sin, mistakes, hopelessness and despair GO.

In case a person has been raped, the child still has no fault of who he or she was conceived by which is a human being, and also a subject to law and a citizen, a Child of God. Abortion is a huge HUGE abomination, it isn't the solution, we are selfish, we don't look at other's suffering, that's our problem. People rather have pets that adopting a child that's destined to be parentless, when that child could have a dignified home, with loving parents, and a happy ending, we are the ones who let people die starving having resources to help, we are the one that ignore good and prefer evil, we are sinners, that's why we must get back to him to be saved, because you will only appreciate the horror of sin when you get out of it, all sinful lifestyles lead to a unhappy miserable life, no doubt about it.

I committed not trusting him, I didn't trust him enough, offended him, had discussions with him, I got mad at him, he was lovingly there, I just felt I was done, and got conscious of how harmful I was turning to myself when I felt Jesus was crying, CRYING, because of who I was turning myself into, having the corruption of feeling unloved, of feeling Godless, of feeling hopeless, and of course, what can it be the result of that either than worsening sin? I got to more frequent p0rn addiction, soothing "pills" stupidity, idiotness, foolishness. I give you all my testimony because I broke a relationship I can't express how harmful it has been for me to feel out of God, how it feels to be hopeless, not living but surviving, because of living each day as a day less before hell, but being also in a hell itself (and I never went to any sexual spectacle, I have never consumed drugs, I have never had a woman, I'm even a virgin person although that's not a valid consecration for men as well as it is for women as consecrated virgins but well, I have never been obscene with clothes, but I wanted to "be myself", got super mad at him one day, said thing I wish I never said, and broke something, I feel terrible, everyday I fight to try to heal his heart, I don't have word to express him how much I need him, how much I failed to recognize him as my best friend, and since I felt I lost him, or that could be nothing will be the same, I really need you all to understand this life ain't no game, there's no time for being a fool, there's only time to work, to pray and to try best to stay with him, so you don't have to fight harder to try to get him back, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts!

So, my conclusion is clergy have the reason on the diagnosis (although Catechists' dynamics have to change, to preserve youth in God's love, with a more immersive experience) these nowadays ideologies, the computer like ways of thinking of others and ourselves as products rather than brothers and sisters, everything is just getting crazy, youth is getting lost in darkness, and worse is that people don't pray so those souls can be saved, we even lack pastoral to hold so many confused and vulnerable, mentally unstable, anxious children and youth that are in such a desperate need of love and education.

Please keep your family safe from media, TV, watch carefully what your children are looking at, everything is worse than ever before, and before you say I'm just a religious fan and fool. I AM PART OF THAT YOUTH, I FELT "OPPRESSED", THEN WAS FOOLED TO BELIEVE FALSE IDEAS, I THOUGHT LOVING THINGS SOOTHED PAIN, THEN GOT TO THINK "I'M TRANS", THEN LOST MY PRAYER ROUTINE, LOST MY FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD, EVEN FELT I LOST HIM, AND EVEN STILL FIGHT IMPURITY, I have tons of anxiety that has impacted my health, I feel terrible, confused, exhausted, and will keep fighting to spread the voice to people to put their youth in the arms of the only one who really loves them: GOD, JESUS and MARY our Blessed Mother, whose mantle is the only reason I still have a ray of hope to put myself up to date with Jesus and the Church, my lawyer in front of him in my worst cases of despair.

As it is a franciscan thing to accuse oneself, and promote conversion, I hope this helps you prevent from falling in the mistakes that wounded me, so you don't have to be wounded, so you don't lose Jesus, so you don't lose Mary, so you feel alright with yourselves, find any mental health help you need, and reach always to him, who really loves you.

The drawing depicts Maverick (aka Stella) once again as himself, back into the Church, covered by the consecration mantle used by consecrated lay people in the Heralds of the Gospel, and once again, being object of the huge mercy of God, I hope it reflects somehow my regret, repentance and penance, before I set myself for next confession.

Please, let this be a testimony of the great mercy of Jesus towards us all, and let this be a guidance so you don't have to suffer anything.

Maverick Lani belongs to me ©
Artwork made by me ©

You are not authorized to use my artwork, characters or writings in any way without my consent