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I've grown up my whole life
Being put down
Being yelled at
Being laughed at

I've grown up my whole life
With people assuming stuff about me
With people spreading stories about me
With people knocking me down

I've grown up my whole life
Learning to put trust in people
Learning that most people I do put trust in are fake
Learning that they don't care
Learning that they build me up
Learning that they eventually knock me down, too

I've grown up my whole life
Putting false trust into people
Putting my heart out there
Putting my opinions out there
Putting my care out there

I've grown up my whole life
With people stepping on my trust
With people cutting my heart
With people disregarding my opinions
With people brushing away my care

I've grown up my whole life
Thinking I could trust
Thinking I could believe
Thinking I could love
Thinking I could open up

I've grown up my whole life
Learning lessons a child my age shouldn't have learned then
Learning that most people don't care
Learning that there are only a handful who do care
Learning how hard it is to find those who care

I've grown up my whole life
Making mistakes
Making people feel bad
Making people feel good
Making people proud
Making people disappointed

I've grown up my whole life
Without the fancy gadgets other kids had
Without both parents to aid me
Without seeing the beauty that my mum was when she was left to aid me
Without thanking her
Without helping her

I've grown up my whole life
Caring mostly about myself
Caring about how much I'm bullied
Caring about how much I missed my father
Caring about nothing but me

I've grown up my whole life
Not being able to understand that my mum is one of the greatest people
Not being able to understand that when you do find someone who cares, you have to care back
Not being able to understand why my dad had to die
Not being able to understand why people hurt me

I've grown up my whole life
Not seeing the beauty
Not seeing the wonder
Not seeing the good
Not seeing the love

I've grown up my whole life
Only seeing the ugly
Only seeing the rubbish
Only seeing the bad
Only seeing the hate

I should have realized
My mum was trying to teach me that people are mean
People did seem to care-
If only a select few actually did

Yes, I have had a misfortunate life
I only was able to live half of my childhood
I got bullied very frequently-
Every school, there seemed to be an armada of people willing to hate
My father died
I moved more times than my family should have

But, I have had a gifted life, too
I have an amazing mum-
Even if she has conceeded views sometimes
I have three loving dogs
I have a loving sister-
Even though sometimes she shows the exact opposite
I have a small group of great friends I can rely on
I am talented
I am smart

And even if I don't realize it sometimes,
I am beautiful

And so are you

Make a list of the bad
Make it as rough and dirty as you like
Or as neat and clean
Then throw it away

Make a new list
Of the good
Of the love
And keep it close to your heart
Add to it all the time

Because, there is always something worth fighting for
Even if in the moment
It seems like there is nothing

At first
I didn't know where this writing would go
Nor did I have any goal
I apologize for it being unorganized
But just remember

Life can be rough
Life can be hard
Life can be unfair
But you always have to find the silver lining
And strive to touch the lining
And keep it for your own

Treasure the beauty
Smile through the bad
Life will get better
Sooner or later