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vampiretr — Jane Doe
Published: 2003-05-18 05:32:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 118; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 4
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Description
I\'m lying here and drained,drained of all the things the world
has given me.
It seems as if nothing that I want
exists.
Nothing that I have is
real.
The sky justs sifts
between my hands
and the sand rubs in my
finger prints.
Perhaps it will rub them away.
I could be no one without these prints.
My hands would be clean.
Things would be better
if I didnt exist.
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Comments: 5
I love it! It's very creative and once again it flows beautifully!
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nice mental picture. comforting. a moment of reflection.
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I like the title, and the latter half of the poem the best. The way you use a verb that is commonly used with sand for the sky instead (sift) is nice, and the fact that you hope for the sand to grate off your identity is a cool idea. Keep it up.
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Some times (quite frequently) I feel that way... cool work...
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