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Description
with thought provoking backstories.

"the mixtape heat regulation and storage core" this core was forged from the heart of the sun, which, really who hasnt noticed that its been gone this long, it knows that in the end, all things truley revolve around it, and as such, is very humble, the most humble, anyone could say, like glados, this core was once a person that we pulled from another dimension, who was this kind hearted and more importantly, efficient soul was once the owner of their universes most productive factory, one that offered shelter, work, and a way of life for all those who needed it, his name was james anderson, this core is incineration proof, not that anyone could hold a match to it of course, the best way you can buy time is to make it laugh, talk about your hopes and dreams, for instance, or that it cant possibly have that many armed missile silos directly targeting not only every living or dead relative in your bloodline, but also the habitats of any animal species you enjoy, endangered or otherwise, or just show it a video where that gnome goes "OOOH" or a german execution of an orphan." "it uses the excess heat from the stored mixtapes to run uncountable simulations to deduce a method to create a reality from scratch in which it was the one responsible for creating itself, thus ensuring a sufficient level of quality that it demands" "were sure this totally wont create a sort of feedback loop worth being concerned about" "we had one guy we had to fire due to him saying something about this already having occurred, and were now in a pocket sub reality based off everyone having a miserable experience in which death is an inevitability when prior it may have not been a concept at all." "well, thats not entirely true, the mixtape core musta saw somethin potentially useful for the guy, so it actually made him incapable of dying, and allowed him to return to work, but only after correctly guessing which dog his daughter ended up getting eaten by and for each wrong guess, he was subjugated to the footage being directly wired and overclocked into his synapses ten thousand times in an hour, the footage was wild, there was a piñata that when broken would cascade cocaine and more piñatas with seemingly no upper limit, the VA for alan wake was there, a goddamn tequila water fountain, the core held nothing back, shit was extravagant" "have you ever seen hookers on stilts with a t-shirt cannon? god i love this company." "oh and did i mention he genetically modified several animals to make a unicorn, just to kill it in front of the girl as she was being purina? did we copyright meta? because we nailed that shit" youre 100% out of fuckin osha regulated pocket parameters if you think that was the end of it, obviously, he had to come up with a method to keep the replays of this all fresh right? mother fuckin cybernetic chip implants in the dogs frontal lobe, that let him be FRONT SEAT IMAX theatre of the various dogs perspectives, how did he pick which dog per playthough? he genetically cloned famous hit rapper eminem 50 times, and had one throw a long dart straight up, whichever eminem it lobotomized, picked the dog, the eminems had cinnamon schnapps for blood and molly for cerebral spinal fluid. so yknow, barring the cinnamons schnapps, basically just regular run of the mill eminems. "here take a look at this * hands Childs crayon doodle of a unicorn" now we have the hardest working man ive ever seen, you want results? god. damn, we made a core that gets them"

Description
with thought provoking backstories.

"the mixtape heat regulation and storage core" this core was forged from the heart of the sun, which, really who hasnt noticed that its been gone this long, it knows that in the end, all things truley revolve around it, and as such, is very humble, the most humble, anyone could say, like glados, this core was once a person that we pulled from another dimension, who was this kind hearted and more importantly, efficient soul was once the owner of their universes most productive factory, one that offered shelter, work, and a way of life for all those who needed it, his name was james anderson, this core is incineration proof, not that anyone could hold a match to it of course, the best way you can buy time is to make it laugh, talk about your hopes and dreams, for instance, or that it cant possibly have that many armed missile silos directly targeting not only every living or dead relative in your bloodline, but also the habitats of any animal species you enjoy, endangered or otherwise, or just show it a video where that gnome goes "OOOH" or a german execution of an orphan." "it uses the excess heat from the stored mixtapes to run uncountable simulations to deduce a method to create a reality from scratch in which it was the one responsible for creating itself, thus ensuring a sufficient level of quality that it demands" "were sure this totally wont create a sort of feedback loop worth being concerned about" "we had one guy we had to fire due to him saying something about this already having occurred, and were now in a pocket sub reality based off everyone having a miserable experience in which death is an inevitability when prior it may have not been a concept at all." "well, thats not entirely true, the mixtape core musta saw somethin potentially useful for the guy, so it actually made him incapable of dying, and allowed him to return to work, but only after correctly guessing which dog his daughter ended up getting eaten by and for each wrong guess, he was subjugated to the footage being directly wired and overclocked into his synapses ten thousand times in an hour, the footage was wild, there was a piñata that when broken would cascade cocaine and more piñatas with seemingly no upper limit, the VA for alan wake was there, a goddamn tequila water fountain, the core held nothing back, shit was extravagant" "have you ever seen hookers on stilts with a t-shirt cannon? god i love this company." "oh and did i mention he genetically modified several animals to make a unicorn, just to kill it in front of the girl as she was being purina? did we copyright meta? because we nailed that shit" youre 100% out of fuckin osha regulated pocket parameters if you think that was the end of it, obviously, he had to come up with a method to keep the replays of this all fresh right? mother fuckin cybernetic chip implants in the dogs frontal lobe, that let him be FRONT SEAT IMAX theatre of the various dogs perspectives, how did he pick which dog per playthough? he genetically cloned famous hit rapper eminem 50 times, and had one throw a long dart straight up, whichever eminem it lobotomized, picked the dog, the eminems had cinnamon schnapps for blood and molly for cerebral spinal fluid. so yknow, barring the cinnamons schnapps, basically just regular run of the mill eminems. "here take a look at this * hands Childs crayon doodle of a unicorn" now we have the hardest working man ive ever seen, you want results? god. damn, we made a core that gets them"