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So far past insanity, reality isnt even an option anymore.
Knowing that he is gone for good, never going to come back.
Living in the dark and loving every moment of it.
The couch on which you lay upon was once somebody's garbage, but now your beloved posession.
The t.v. screen is smashed into tiny pieces on which you sleep on durring the night from passing out on the floor.
Only waking up to the sound of cockroaches scuttling along the molding floor.
Turning on the light, they run away in fear.
Those little bastards!!
Fuck them for living off of my dirtiness.
The kitchen ceiling is nothing but a brown layer of tar and carbon monoxide stains.
The light hangs from wall never to be fixed again.
Sitting down to smoke another cigarett to calm your nerves, you open the fridge only to find a grousome sight.
Maggets crawling everywhere and all sorts of nasty creatures creep and crawl through you food.
You dont care.
Pulling out a bowl of moldy leftovers from over a month ago which will now be your delacasy.
Going over to the shelf where you keep the booze, pouring you happiness into a glass, you know that your life is going to hell.
So now while you lay on the couch and get more fucked over by the minute, all you think about is how your life could have been if you would have cared more.
But now you know you do want to change, so now you must die alone in your own living hell.
Waiting for someone to come and rescue you.
Get over it.
You are not loved.
So as you think about your life right now, think about the choices you are going to make.