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wizemanbob — 3.10 English Lessons
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Published: 2009-04-21 00:07:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 55; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description "Six o'clock, right on time! You're almost boringly perfect," Tanya called to Inlé as she stepped out of the office. She had changed into a long yellow skirt and a beige blouse now, and was obviously ready to get going. "You got the tickets, right?"

Inlé stepped away from the wall and held them up. "Of course, you were specific enough. It is good that the theater is so close. But the showing you requested was sold out. We have forty-two extra minutes to wait."

"You know," Tanya sighed as she stopped in front of him, "most people would just say forty-five minutes. You know, round it off. You do know how to round, right?"

"Of course," Inlé replied. "I was." With that, Inlé turned and began walking up the street toward the theater.

Tanya looked startled, then quickly caught up. Beside Inlé again, Tanya queried, "So where are you going, exactly?"

"The theater, room twelve, the seats closest the entrance. If I continue at this pace, I believe I should arrive between six-o-eight and six-twelve, depending on the density of people within the theater proper and the position of the room in correlation with the entrance. Being unfamiliar with the theater, I cannot calculate beyond general speculation and what I saw when I retrieved the tickets. Was that exact enough?"

Tanya sighed again, and realized that she would probably continue to do so for the rest of the date. If 'date' was the right word. At this point, she wondered.

"Maybe, Inlé, I should try teaching you something about English. Do you understand what slang is?"

"Slang: a noun; a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people.  Synonymous with informal language, colloquialisms, patois, argot, cant, and jargon.  Slang includes 'substitute' vocabulary, grammatical distortions, and other departures from formal or polite usage. Is that the intended word?"

A baffled look crossed Tanya's face. "You know, you were able to pull that out way too fast. Do you practice that?"

"I do not. I simply under ..."

Tanya put up her hand and quickly said, "Stop! It was a joke. I didn't actually think you would do that. No one has that boring a hobby. It's just that--and maybe you're not aware of it--but you really have to calm down. If you're going to rattle something off like that, please at least let me catch the punch-line before you move on, okay?"

"Punch-line?"

"Ah, well, uh, never-mind," Tanya gave up. "Could we grab something to eat first? I mean, why wait for so long in the theater if we don't have to? What do you say?"

"I say what I say," Inlé said with all seriousness in his voice.

"Wow," Tanya groaned. "You really are clueless. Could you please talk less ... like you? Just standard, easy-to-understand, messed-up American English? You know, like everyone in school, say?"

"I can try, I suppose," Inlé said. "I apologize for confusing you."

"See, that's what I mean!" Tanya exclaimed. "Don't say 'I apologize', say 'Sorry' or something."

"Sorry?" Inlé sounded confused.

Another sigh passed Tanya's lips. "Fine, close enough. Where do you like to eat?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I ... don't do this often."

"Uh-huh. When was the last time you went out like this?"

Inlé paused, as if thinking hard, "A long time ago."

"Long like a few months? Be a bit more specific please."

"But you just said to ..."

"Just for this question, please."

"As you wish. It's been roughly five years, three months, and four days. There is a six percent margin of error based on level of specificity, and another eight due to potential memory error."

"See, that's what I like about you. You can say something like that with a straight face and not even realize it's unusual. I'm not sure if it's hilarious or terrifying."

"I don't understand, but thank you, I think."

"Well, if you don't know where you want to go, why don't we go to the Italian place over there? It's on the way to the theater, and it won't take long."
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