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Description
Is anyone else around here enough of an animal nerd to wonder exactly what sub-species of said animal a fairly minor character is? Well, I totally am. Even if Chris Seavor never intended for anyone to like this chubby weasel here enough to wonder what the hell his name even is, I went and took the liberty of researching the different types of weasels so I can, for no reason, differentiate which type each character in Conker'S Bad Fur Day is.

The first thing that really piqued my interest in this is the size difference between Don Weaso and Smol/Templeton/Dongle/Chrispleasenamethispoorasshole. If you beat the Great Mighty Poo before going to Bats Tower and go through those blades to find the guards, instead of being treated to that rather delightful scene where Chub Chub is taking a dump behind a rock, you get a scene where both guards are standing there and will not let you pass because you don't have enough money. There, while they're standing there, you can stand next to them and see that Templeton is only about half and head, maybe a head taller than Conker. On the other hand, right before you enter the bank in the Heist chapter, you can stand next to Don Weaso and find that Conker is less than half his size. Even though they share the same body model (their head models are different), one is made to be much larger in size, likely to match Weaso's powerful, egotistical personality.

Using Conker as a comparison tool, since the guards and Weaso are never in the same scene, Don Weaso and Tol/Simpleton/Dingle/Chrispleasenamethisotherpoorasshole are the same size. Thus, they're both Mountain Weasels. Ze Professor is as big as Weaso without his legs, so he'd probably be the tallest of all of them with his legs, so he's a Long-Tailed Weasel. Short stuff over here's a Least Weasel, the only one of the three mentioned that has a drastic change is fur coat color during the winter. Templeton turns white, while Simpleton probably just fades slightly and Ze Professor stays exactly the same. I'd imagine it gets pretty amusing.

In fact, I like to imagine that, in their earlier years, Simpleton would gasp and go “Floating clothes!”, or “Where’d Templeton go?! MOM, I can’t find Templeton!” whenever he saw Templeton during the winter time. He still does it now, but he’s fully aware that Templeton is, in fact, there. So, he just continues to say those things just to tease his little brother figure, hence the irritated expression and the “Every bloody year…” thought bubble. I headcanon that Simpleton acts like a big brother to Templeton, even though they aren't related, so he gets to be protective and annoying.

Description
Is anyone else around here enough of an animal nerd to wonder exactly what sub-species of said animal a fairly minor character is? Well, I totally am. Even if Chris Seavor never intended for anyone to like this chubby weasel here enough to wonder what the hell his name even is, I went and took the liberty of researching the different types of weasels so I can, for no reason, differentiate which type each character in Conker'S Bad Fur Day is.

The first thing that really piqued my interest in this is the size difference between Don Weaso and Smol/Templeton/Dongle/Chrispleasenamethispoorasshole. If you beat the Great Mighty Poo before going to Bats Tower and go through those blades to find the guards, instead of being treated to that rather delightful scene where Chub Chub is taking a dump behind a rock, you get a scene where both guards are standing there and will not let you pass because you don't have enough money. There, while they're standing there, you can stand next to them and see that Templeton is only about half and head, maybe a head taller than Conker. On the other hand, right before you enter the bank in the Heist chapter, you can stand next to Don Weaso and find that Conker is less than half his size. Even though they share the same body model (their head models are different), one is made to be much larger in size, likely to match Weaso's powerful, egotistical personality.

Using Conker as a comparison tool, since the guards and Weaso are never in the same scene, Don Weaso and Tol/Simpleton/Dingle/Chrispleasenamethisotherpoorasshole are the same size. Thus, they're both Mountain Weasels. Ze Professor is as big as Weaso without his legs, so he'd probably be the tallest of all of them with his legs, so he's a Long-Tailed Weasel. Short stuff over here's a Least Weasel, the only one of the three mentioned that has a drastic change is fur coat color during the winter. Templeton turns white, while Simpleton probably just fades slightly and Ze Professor stays exactly the same. I'd imagine it gets pretty amusing.

In fact, I like to imagine that, in their earlier years, Simpleton would gasp and go “Floating clothes!”, or “Where’d Templeton go?! MOM, I can’t find Templeton!” whenever he saw Templeton during the winter time. He still does it now, but he’s fully aware that Templeton is, in fact, there. So, he just continues to say those things just to tease his little brother figure, hence the irritated expression and the “Every bloody year…” thought bubble. I headcanon that Simpleton acts like a big brother to Templeton, even though they aren't related, so he gets to be protective and annoying.