HOME | DD
wolfdancer — Save-Me
Published: 2002-12-15 09:46:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 129; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 14
Redirect to original
Description
I'm hungry but I don't want to eat.I"m tired but I can't sleep.
I want to stop thinking but I don't know how.
I'm lost but the search party can't find me.
My heart feels heavy but no one knows how to pick me up.
I'm almost at the end of my rope, please someone save me before I fall.
Related content
Comments: 4
I like it. I feel like that most of the time. The last line seems a bit off though. Maybe it's just me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wow! It's so calm but portrays some angere in it. Like a child's game. Very dramatic. Ahh I love it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very nice. I know exactly how you feel. Its a little short, but the point comes across very nicely. Good job, try free verse more often. That's what happens to me sometimes... i start to write then it comes out poetically. keep it up.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Yay! heh
I like it. It has a lyrical quality about it.
My personal style would be to put in a few more line breaks-- I use them for emphasis, rather than commas. But that is me style.. so its really just a matter of preference.
Very nice first attempt
👍: 0 ⏩: 0