pz [2003-05-28 12:01:01 +0000 UTC]

Whoa!!

this is really good, very emotional...

Love it, especially the front portion of it...

"Each person has their own star
glimmering in the sky.
But every night some stars fade
and it's time for mine to die."


I kinda like the 3 lines...But think that the last line:

"and it's time for mine to die"

sorta just clashes with the descriptions...

*just a thought*

But overall, a great piece!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

urban-gem2 [2003-05-28 09:19:49 +0000 UTC]

aww so touching, really. Great flow to it I like the contrast of words too like *desperate hell* then *glimmering*

lovely words, emotional poem good job

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

vanillain0cence [2003-05-25 23:48:59 +0000 UTC]

This really is beautiful. I love the how you related it to stars. Truely beautiful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

adrenalinerush [2003-05-25 18:28:45 +0000 UTC]

Wow, very nice! this poem has so much emotion and depth to it. The rhythm is great and everything flows very nicely. Great work!

~Michelle~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

starrlitsuicide [2003-05-05 17:34:37 +0000 UTC]

well....
i am not really into gothic dark depressing poetry
but this is a beautiful poem, and even i can
appreciate the sentiment.
I know feelings from which poetry like this stems
all to well.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

batmanwell [2003-04-30 20:49:40 +0000 UTC]

Very cool. love it a lot. I like seeing the word "hell" in poetry for some reason. It makes a very strong impact.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

thekinastinator [2003-04-26 08:39:13 +0000 UTC]

deep. i love your rhyming scheme it adds a lot to the poem makes it flow ! very nicely done!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ladynyk [2003-04-11 08:36:01 +0000 UTC]

*hugs him tightly*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

rudepunkgurly [2003-04-10 23:11:12 +0000 UTC]

beautiful job. totally pure and strong. Excellent job

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

melliegurl2005 [2003-04-10 21:32:40 +0000 UTC]

that is really good. . .i like it alot!

"My flame is going out
with no reason to rise.
My soul is crying
I don't want to open my eyes."
^fav part

👍: 0 ⏩: 0