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wolfdancer — -Take My Hand-
Published: 2003-01-10 21:41:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 238; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 21
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Description
Take my handand look in my eyes,
they are apart of a face
that would tell you no lies.
Embrace my soul
and slide in my arms.
They will always love you
and protect you from harm.
Hold my heart
and tell me what you hear,
the whispers of my spirit
telling you there\'s nothing to fear.
Caress my aura
and bathe in it\'s glow.
It wants to see you shine
and keep your pace slow.
Feel the dance,
and the electricity serge.
Our bodies melting
and our essence merge.
We\'re the missing pieces
in the puzzle of our lives.
Together we\'re complete
apart we can\'t survive.
The questions aren\'t clear
most answers are lies,
but I feel all the more brave
with you by my side.
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Comments: 15
very cool. Or I suppose the right term would be warm.
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this is extrememly emotional!! and i'm a sucker for stuff packed with emotions!! well done.
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this is really good, it really puts romantic words to all the things im feeling for this guy right now. i love it!!
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This is very good...beautiful...
Eh...any poem is proper they don't have to have four lin stanzas or rhymes...
Anyway this is very good...nice work
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now this is a proper poem,
haven't seen one that rhymes
and have four lines in a verse eversince...
eversince...
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there is a sense of strong emotion in this. i could tell that whoever you were writing this about means a lot to you. press forward in your poetry with this same emotion, and you will have really great works!
Matt
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wow..
. this is really good full of emotion and romance. i love **hold my heart and tell me what you hear, the whspers of my spirit** really nice
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I agree with ~submit , this could use some touching up. The flow you got goin' on is good and the idea well displayed, it just seems to be weak in some areas.
Good write.
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It has a basic beat.. very tender.. written with a delicate touch. Very nice!
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very simple and romantic. reads a lot like a song, because of the rhyming and the short verses. somehow it could be more potent and passionate, but I'm not a poet so I don't have any suggestions in that department.
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this comes close.. i have no words.
*speechless*
who wouldn't want all that...?
*sigh*
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"telling you there's nothing to fear."
may be better as:
there's nothing to fear
this way it'll not obstruct the momentum.
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"in the puzzle of our lives."
could be:
in the puzzle of life.
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i know you we're trying to say more with these lines, but maybe this would flow a lot better.
nice work.
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very romantic. So sweet and so strong in emotion. Excellent job....btw thanks for the comment!
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