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wonderbandalice — self-harm is not always obvious.
Published: 2012-02-28 01:45:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 87496; Favourites: 4345; Downloads: 3970
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March 1 is self-harm awareness day. Wear Orange!Links to information: [link]
I am always here for anyone who needs to talk. Send me a note if you want my msn/cell number/some other third thing.
**Sometimes it is obvious. And that's no less legitimate.
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Comments: 1759
Yea, i think so too, but i don't think he's done it in a while, he hasn't said anything or seemed depressed lately (but i haven't been seeing him that much in the past month or so)
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This is gorgeous is a terrible way, it really is perfectly fitting for the subject <3
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This photo sends such a strong message. One of my friends use to cut herself and it was on her ankles , legs and chest. it was not where it could be seen. I also use as well till my sister helped me out. I would go on the stomach. Both me and my friend no longer cut. But I know for at least two or three other people who do. I try and help anyone who is willing to talk, i'll listen and give advice, what ever is needed. This photo says so much. and it's all true it's not always obvious. Thanks for sharing to photo.
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I'm really glad that you and your friend no longer cut, and it's awesome that you support others who do. Thank you
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I'm glad someone knows how it feels and dose'nt just pretend they know what there talking about or just label us emos!
Its always makes me feel a little better when I know theres others out there, thank you for sharing this picture
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I have over 45 scars on my legs from when I was younger and got 'inspired' by a friend who was cutting herself, and soon it became my own addiction that I had tied with past abuse and sexual harassment. One of my scars could have killed me if I cut any deeper than I did because I almost hit a major vein in my right leg, that cut made me realize how dangerous it was and I soon stopped because of my ex-boyfriend.
For awhile I was scared to where bathing suits, shorts, skirts, or dresses that showed my legs because I was ashamed of what I had done. After awhile they faded and where barley visible, even to this day I wont where shorts that are any shorter than my knees but this time its because of preference not because of fear. I AM PROUD OF MY SCARS! Because it proves that people can change their way of life I am proud that I was able to get threw that and stop. For myself, My mom, and My friends. I thank you for sharing this picture because it shares a strong message. Not only to self abuse, but not all pain can be seen. Sometimes you have to open your eyes to others to see that they are in pain, and I think it is very awesome that you are reaching out to people and offering to talk to anyone who needs to talk. : )
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Thank you for sharing your story, it's awesome that you can be proud of how far you've come.
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I'm glad I was able to share, and I think what you are doing could make many people proud of how far they've come. ^^
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Thank you, that really means a lot to me.
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No problem dear. : )
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People who cut themselves with the reason of how their life is shit and depressing need to stop it now. They are not right. If youre in your mid to late teens or young adulthood, you dont have real issues why you should harm yourself, no matter what you say.
I cut myself. Once. When I fell into a great depression because my dad had died. I wrote him a letter, cut my arm, let the blood drip on the letter and I burned it outside. That helped me feel better, getting it all out of me and I have never had any need to cut myself again, even though I still think of him every day.
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That's an incredibly ignorant thing to say. How is it that it is okay that you turned to cutting when your dad died, but when my close friend's mom died and she turned to cutting, somehow it's not legitimate because she's "in her mid to late teens." Grief is grief, and when you are emotionally unstable already (as most young teens are), any form of relief can become addicting.
She had help getting over it with a therapist; this negative stigma around depression is why people don't seek out therapy and get stuck in a cycle of their old coping mechanisms. *wonderbandalice is trying to fight this stigma. What are you doing?
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I think I over exaggurated it. By cutting, I meant a small cut for few drops. I'd assume your friend is doing it occasionally and out of severe depression as she doesn't know what else to do.
People don't need to seek out therapy. It's all in their head and thinking you need to turn to a professional for something that is personal is redundant. You need to tell yourself this is not the way and you are not gaining anything from self half. Any person with regular amount of brain cells and logical thinking can see that it's true and they will stop.
I dont, although, see how "What are you doing?" is relevant to any of this text. Im a happy 20 year old, with good life, awesome friends and an amazing girlfriend. I seldomly think of my dead father, but I dont get over emotional because of it and I dont turn to self-harm because my mind can process how this does not help you.
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Okay, as a Sociology major, I must disagree. Addiction is very difficult to break on one's own. Studies have shown that rates of depression and suicide are much higher in certain sociological circumstances such as personal integration 9 what degree to which someone is an outcast or tightly involved in society, which a person cannot control) and the ratio of stress to coping mechanisms (which can be controlled). For instance, on a much smaller scale, consider smoking: it is very difficult to quit smoking or doing drugs, because even though people "logically" know that it's bad for them, the short term gain provides the stress relief they need. Most people can't "just quit." Cutting is the same.
You said it yourself: you have awesome friends. You have an amazing girlfriend. You are not in an isolated situation. Isolation is the number 1 factor in self-destructive behavior, especially that involving depression and suicidal thoughts. Therefore, since you lack the main ingredient in the psychological makeup of a cutter/addict/suicidal person, it is literally impossible for you to understand the difficulty of stopping the behavior. So don't presume that everyone's situation is like yours.
As to my question, it was rhetorical. My point was, I don't understand why you would try to spread ignorant ideas in the comments of a pic geared towards helping people get the help they need. My friend was not cutting occasionally; she was cutting often, because she was addicted. She did need therapy, and just because you didn't doesn't make you a better person than her. It just means your situation was slightly different.
I could cite the scientific studies if you want me too. Sociologists and Psychologists are, first and foremost, scientists. They do not presume; they study, gathering data using experimentation and the scientific method. I mention this only to point out that this isn't simply "my opinion," it's backed up by valid scientific data.
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Everyone has it in themselves to break out of the isolation if they want. I didnt have any friends until 11th grade, when I thought to myself "Well this sucks, I wanna get out more but I dont have anyone to hang with". So I started chatting with a few of the cool kids in class, and one day I was invited to a poker game with them and it all went on from there. Ill stick to my opinion of everyone has it in themselves to change themselves. They just need to want it and figure out a way to get it. There was this chainpicture going around on facebook, something about "Which step are you on?". Most people said 3(which was I know what I want) and they also said they'd like to be on 4(which was how do I get it?). Point being, these two things are very close to one another. People just need to realize it.
But we can just draw the line here and say Im ignorant and retarded and my opinions are wrong because im not majoring in psychology or social studies and what not. Ill be waiting for the scientific studies, just cause im curious and I like psychology.
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Okay, under normal circumstances, I'd send you a link to the original journal articles, but some of the stuff we've researched in class is ridiculously long, so I'm sending you the wikipedia synopsis. Suffice it to say, Emile Durkheim is the researcher most often credited with beginning a long-term study of suicide within the context of society: [link] (book)#Types_of_suicide
From the psychological standpoint, here are some influential books in that field you may be interested in: [link] (book)#Types_of_suicide A Bright Red Scream is about the correlation between self-harm, childhood abuse, and PTSD. A broader study from 2000 called Non Fatal Suicidal Behavior Among Adults Aged 16 to 74 can be downloaded here: [link] (book)#Types_of_suicide or, again, you can read the wikipedia synopsis.
I must admit, I don't know as much about self-harm/suicide from a psychology standpoint than from a soc one. There's nothing wrong with being ignorant if you want to learn 
And for what it's worth, I'm glad it worked out for you.
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Wait so all this time you were talking about society standpoint, yet kept arguing with me when I clearly stated it quite fast that im going more for the psychological approach ?
Gotta say it's not worth anything, youre just like everyone else - sugarcoating the shit out of stuff to make yourself look better. People are transparent and I, unlike many, can realize that fast.
I do, however, appreciate that you haven't gotten so mad yet and I respect that some people can actually stay calm when talking to an "ignorant unaware person". Props.
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As a sociology major, I have taken required psychology classes. I don't know as much about psychology, but I still know about it. I said upfront that I was a soc major, I never said otherwise. A psych major would know more than me, and a professional psychologist would know even more. Speaking of which, what did you think of Non Fatal Sucidal Behavior? I think that, of the resources, would be the most relevant to this discussion.
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All the links you gave me lead to wikipedias article of suicide, but I did google the book myself and looked over the types of suicides and none of them was entitled Non Fatal Suicidal Behavior
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No, no, I sent you a link to the pdf version of Non Fatal Suicidal Behavior, didn't I? It shouldn't've linked back to wikipedia. That's strange.
Okay, well, whatever. That doesn't make sense, but it seems to be a tech issue on my end. If I can find the original journal article, I'll send you a link. I have the pdf on my laptop, but I don't know how to send it via dA. The full study is called Non Fatal Suicidal behavior among adults in Great Britain Aged 16-74. Howard Meltzer is one of the lead scientists. I can imagine this is getting boring, though, so I'm okay with just dropping it here if you want.
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You could just upload it to speedyshare or something, Im actually interested now.
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Okay, cool. Speedyshare. Got it: [link]
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So teenaged girls are most likely to harm oneselves or attempt to commit a suicide. What else is new ?
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Yes, but, what I found most interesting is that, at an even higher rate than teenagers, single parents attempt suicide. This reflects societal findings (they are less integrated than married people) and points out that older adults (parent-age) have serious suicidal issues as well. This is despite the fact that older people ought to be more logical and know better.
Also, the number one group that attempts suicide and self-harm are those with OCD (64%) and, to a lesser extent, those with other compulsive tendencies. Now, I don't know about you, but OCD seems like a legitimate illness, which makes it difficult to handle situations that are easily handled by others. It can be treated with medication, which suggests it's a brain-chemistry disorder, not something that is "in [someone's] head" (except literally being in their brain). I would assume that others who cut are experiencing compulsive tendencies, either long-term or short-term, due to a change in brain chemistry. This is just based on correlation, mind you, so it can be hard to tell in a specific individual circumstance.
This is not to say that everyone who self-harms should be on medication. In the example with single parents, it seems (although this is just conjecture) if they were able to fall in love with someone again or be somehow integrated into a close group, they may be able to reverse their self-harming compulsions. In this case, a therapist can give someone the practical advice of how to go about forming relationships after those they had have been broken.
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Id say it's a lot simpler than "falling in love". As I mentioned before, I think all you need is close friends and be out there and be active. This all again comes back to how much you actually want to change your life yourself. Clearly if youre in deep depression and alone you might produce suicidal tendencies. But if you have friends who want to hang out with you and spend time together, the plans would start erasing themselves from your mind. And that was my point at first also. I get that it is a medical issue, but I also think that it's in persons own hands if he/she really wants to overcome it.
And yeah, I got one OCD and I can tell how it can affect your life. My example being that when I was 7, I was robbed next to my home on a certain corner and now whenever I go past that I have to look behind the corner to make sure there isnt no one there. And I've tried to by-look it, but it's not that easy really. So I can understand people with OCD.
I gotta admit, I've started thinking differently and less ignorantly about these self-harm tendencies, that they are serious medical issues. But I will stand my ground when it comes to the fact that it can be overcome by yourself if you want.
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Awesome, I can respect that; I think we both learned something then
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If they scroll through all the comments(atlaest the comments for me are newer at top and older at bottom). anyway yeah, this is getting offtopic. Have a nice day.
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I wish this website had a like or applaud button! Put it perfectly.
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People who cut themselves, no matter their age or situation, deserve help and support, not shame.
I'm seventeen, and I have major depressive disorder, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder. If those aren't real issues I don't know what are.
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Those are names of characteristics, given by a doctor. Your issues seem to all be related to social awkwardness.
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No, I'm not socially awkward. I have lots of friends. Those are names of actual diseases I have that are something physically wrong with my brain chemistry.
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Depression is caused by a lack of serotonin to the brain on the most part. It's something that you literally cannot control without medication or therapy. I really dislike when people seem to have an attitude of 'I did it, so everyone else is bullshitting." And I'm not trying to offend anyone, but I just don't understand how a disease that has been around for many years (as well as other diseases!) is still being ignored. People need to just accept things sometimes. Every person in this whole world is different and instead of telling them how they SHOULD be, how about helping them become who they want to be?
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i haven cut recently but its so tempting sometimes when things are hard to deal with but my friends are there for me to talk to
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I'm glad you have other ways of dealing with it.
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roses are RED
whatever is BLUE
you cut your own perfect body??
SHAME ON YOU!!!!
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bocodamondo we dont need you to give us this crap you have no idea what its like so quit shaming us. shame on YOU for making us feel worse. yeah i did it too and i got addicted but im done now and im as happy as can be and YOU are making me feel bad AGAIN!! so enough please.
--
What is the difference between a water bottle and puberty?
The water bottle hit justin bieber first
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think what you want emo
if you cut yourself its like insulting god's body creation wich results into you goin TO HELL!
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hey guess what? god aint real and i stopped anyway so shut up cagna
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Yeah I do, I have several mental illnesses and had an atypical reaction to an antidepressant that exacerbated my self harm extremely.
I am far from ashamed.
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Happy Soon-It's-Your-Birthday!
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I can attest to that. Thank you for expressing what all of us feel in such a simple, but beautiful picture.
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One of my friends cuts... I've been trying to get her to stop but... sigh... it's just not going anywhere and I'm really worried for her safety... maybe you could give me advice on helping her?
Anyways, great photography, and great work on the art. I could never think of something like this.
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The best thing she can do is to go to a doctor, really. Cutting means she probably has some underlying issues that a doctor could really help with. Therapy and medication work well for me.
You might also suggest some alternatives to her, like drawing on her arm with a marker, wearing an elastic and snapping it when she feels the urge, making a glitter jar (google for instructions) and using it, or what I find really helpful is laying on an exercise ball on my back and listening to music. Even just telling her that you're there whenever she needs you is helpful.
It's so nice that you're supportive of her, feel free to ask me any more questions (I have loads of advice from my 2332473 various doctors and therapists and stuff 
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Okay, thank you so much~ I hope that this will help her.... I want the old Hope back, and I'll suggest this to her.
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Okie doke
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