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WordOfChen — How to Insult Poetically
Published: 2013-07-24 16:47:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 21589; Favourites: 803; Downloads: 14
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Description
Once I happened upon a callow young lass,Who apparently thought that it was cool to be crass.
And she turned her tongue upon the profession of writing;
Apparently she felt that it was in need of a smiting.
Though her raving and ranting made very little sense,
She seemed to be taking a rather harsh stance.
Apparently her pain was too great to be understood,
Far beyond the comprehension of this man from the hood.
So I stood there in swagger, clad in my bling.
While she behaved like 'Moon-Moon', in search of a thing.
She spouted some nonsense, some far fetched line,
About never idolizing the keen writer's mind...
...Aaaaaalrighty then,
If that is the case, then why ape my technique?
Why submit to several galleries; is your brain on the leak?
You are writing to be seen; you seek attention as I do,
What are we if not performers, is that not true?
Did you believe that you could use your past as a shield?
It counts, I'm afraid, for nothing, I feel;
For you see, I'm a killer, as bold as I dare,
I care not if you scream or if you tear out your hair.
And if you are offended, I'm sorry I swear.
I was under the impression that your soul was bare...
...Now if you please my dear, it's quiet time I beg,
Or should I quoteth the Griffon and say, "Shut up Meg."
-Chen Yuan Wen, 24th July 2013
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Comments: 268
I died at the 'Moon-Moon' part. Because at first I didn't get it, then I thought about the wolf name picture and laughed so hard xD
I wish I had the skills to poetically insult someone. Such a nice read, as well~ :3
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Well I'm glad you enjoyed it x'3 I love the moon-moon joke xD
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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This is really quite good, but it feels unfinished, as if it needed more editing done. But funny, and good.
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Hoho, well then *passes you the pen* you're welcome to finish it if you'd like. I can't think of anything else
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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I hope you meant that, because here I go.
"While she behaved like 'Moon-Moon', in search of a thing."
Well I understand the internet reference, that's good, and I also understand that it needed to rhyme with the first line. But it seems weak. Instead of 'in search of a thing' perhaps there is a better line that could be put there. Like 'She behaved like moon moon, barking at nothing'
"I care not if you scream or if you tear out your hair."
Again I feel it was there for rhyming purposes but not quite right. How about 'You can shout your offense, but see if I care'
Oh and it's not "it's quiet time I beg" because quiet is like "shhh". You mean quite.
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(^_^)b
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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thank you kindly x'3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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now if someone picks a fight, i'll insult them poetically! thanks! but i'd rather not pick a fight so i could use this.
Anyway, THIS is awesome! I love it...
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Haha I'm glad you enjoyed it friend :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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I broke down cackling. This was just beautiful.
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Then that means my job here is done x'3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Thank you kindly, I appreciate that ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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My thanks :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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...... My English really isn't that good, so it was rather head to understand....
... But it still sounds so cool ;w;
Insulting someone and staying polite at the same time is an art I wish I could master ^^
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Haha well thank you for enjoying it dear :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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someone needs to read this to a rap beat and post it on youtube -- and send me (and the author) the link please!!
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Haha, if they did they'd need permission first
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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well, obviously.
but it'd totally be worth it.
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The personal response this was based off of is something I'd probably agree with. Though, really, writing about how one shouldn't write could make for a wonderfully tongue-in-cheek work. I've had my fun with a ham-handed, flowery poem about not being able to write. It may be a simple idea, but something like that can be fun to toy around with.
Sounds like the writer(?) you speak of may have been serious, though. That's a shame. 
Anyway, I like the stance you take in the poem. For a bit of criticism, it feels like the lines here don't have a flow to them. That could be intentional. And amount of "apparently"s and "seem" in the first verse is on the redundant side. I'd give points back for some of the references and the use of "callow," though. ^^
The only other thing I want to mention is that the writer wasn't copying your technique of posting to so many galleries. It's common sense for those who want to be seen. I mean, I'd do it myself if the process didn't get boring after the first five submissions. That said, you're right in that it's contradictory to what the writer said. Assuming he/she was serious, maybe he/she saw it as a necessary evil to get the message out? The problem with espousing the evils of writing is that it's very hard to do without writing.
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Well the original poem seemed more a condemnation which is why I made this piece instead x'3
That said, flow-wise, one thing that I've realised is that if something is not flowing...then it's either because of the reader's accent or reading speed. You'll notice that some commenters even feel that this could be rapped. My original tempo was that of a british-accented individual speaking this in a sing-song sort of voice. Which I think is where most hit it at. Some might have read it as a more fast paced rap...if that were possible and some might feel it doesn't have a flow, which is fine. Generally though, in my experience with literature I've pretty much stopped thinking about flow because the differences in our reading is what makes a poetic piece appeal to some and be completely unintelligible to others when based solely on the concept of that internal rhythm xD.
And as for the technique, the technique became popular with the literature community in DA after I first began using it, prior to that submissions to about 50 groups or so was considered normal but I was one of the first who began to use over 100, with the limit being struck at about 300~ ish. So I'm afraid I have to state that it is my original technique which was being used (though of course it is neither a secret nor anything special xD)
I hope this helps clear some things up :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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I'd agree with the other commenter that your meter is off, but you can't blame it on the reader. You can't make the words you chose have more or fewer syllables; your readers can't read what you've written much differently than the way you wrote it. I mean, there are only so many permutations you can try; words DO have standard pronunciations in spite of accents and you can't deviate too far from them before they become unrecognizable, you know? People are also right when they say it'd sound good if you rapped it, because when you rap you can toy with the tempo in a way you can't annotate in unspoken verse, which means you can squeeze words together or pull them further apart to get a more natural rhythm and present it in a way that's smoother than it might be in passive reading. Anyhow, none'a this was meant to be mean-spirited or anything; it's
just, it's a super bad habit to develop to say it's a
viewer/reader/listener's fault that something didn't come across like it
was meant to. If you become aware of when you do it, you can nip it in
the bud and move on to understanding WHY something might not be
working, which is a much better step to take!
You introduced a good concept at the outset of this piece, but I feel like you covered it more extensively in the description than in the poem! But I get that it was sort of a reactionary "take-that" piece in response to someone being straight-up insulting and hypocritical. I'd love to read a piece from you exploring the concept, though - what it means to be a writer, why people do it, why brushing off all the effort it takes can sting so badly. I know that writing, like most arts, can be curative and stabilizing. I know how deep it can cut when someone dismisses something which is really personal to you like it never mattered. I think most artists can relate, and the power of art is that it can help non-artists understand, too - plumbing emotional depths that a lot of people don't dwell on long enough to really understand. It's a big topic, but from your description it sounds like you'd have enough experience and understanding to make a meaningful statement!
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No don't worry, I wasn't saying it was their fault. However, generally speaking I don't modify works based on that idea because you can never get it down perfect. Yes I understand what you're suggesting, but I myself have seen the actual differences in the way people read something and that really does affect it. Believe me, I have been told to change my meter a hundred times by now, but to this day I still don't count syllables, nor do I actually work with any standardized meter. Reason being, when i read it, I always find the flow to just right and I reach a point where I don't temper with it any further. If my skill does grow, then perhaps I might be able to change in the way in a way that might satisfy more individuals, but until then tempering with it is likely to make it worse than it is.
For the time being, as long as most people are enjoying it, I think that's fine. Trying to improve beyond by attempting to do something that isn't clicking in my head, just doesn't work for me. So I too don't mean to offend anyone, but the way I see it is that...if most can get into the flow and enjoy it, that's good, if a couple can't that's also alright, I'm improving slowly and maybe in future I will be able to achieve what those people desire.
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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I think that's an awesome way to approach it! Lots of times people shrug off possible problems as lost causes and just don't think of them anymore. It's great that you'd become aware of a potential issue and continue to move forward with an eye toward the issue in case, on the road to improvement, you find some way of addressing it. That way you're not hung up on something tough to fix, and you're maintaining your momentum!
Keep on keeping on, man, you really are doing well. Thanks for responding.
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I'm interested in what you mean by submitting to several online galleries. Do you mean groups, or different sites like DeviantArt, or something else entirely? I ask because I agree with you, writing is -at least partly- about being heard, and I'm always interested in tips on how to better build a platform.
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I was referring to the groups xD The person I was talking about submitted it to about 300 in total x3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Glad you enjoyed it friend ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Thank you for enjoying it :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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My thanks :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Has anyone been able to find the poem she talks about in the description???
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I am male actually x'3 and the poem I won't reveal because that would turn this into a personal attack which it is not meant to be. If you are really interested in seeing it for yourself, you can send me a note ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Sorry about that but Thanks!!! ^.^ I'm not actually to interested, was just wondering.
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No problem my friend ^^ Haha :3 you can probably find it if you really want to search though, the keyword was 'writing' after all x'3
Good fortunes to you friend :3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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That line is awesome to use x'3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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My favorite part was the line that reminded me of Jim Carrey.
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I have always loved that expression of his x'3
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Woah, long description
Good poem though. It was funny. It's that brand of classy humor you don't see nowadays.
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Thank you kindly for enjoying it my friend ^^
-Captain Chenbeard of the Black Fedora Pirates
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Interesting pen name as well.
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My thanks, he's my little pirate OC. Though I'm not using the accent at the moment x'3
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Wow, I've never seen a poetic insult before xD Nice to see it from your letters.
I can agree with you here. If I let my emotions control me all the time, I'll be pretty much an emo. But I've been writing for so long and it really helps me. I can even say that I'm such a happy-go-lucky person thanks to that :3 But I still have a long way ahead of me to be a good writter~
Though... seriously, I can't think of you as a violent Chen o:
Anyway, I don't usually read poems but yours... they are just the best there are. And I'm really serious. I won't regret watching you e.e
Hmmm... I'm also a little curious. Do you have the link to that 'paradoxical' poem you speak about?
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