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“So I don't know what to do. Robbie? ROBBIE?! Are you even listening? No, you are texting Micheal, aren't you?” I threw my math book into the top part of my locker. The halls had just emptied of our rinky dink high school. Katie had just left from her locker about forty down from mine. Right next to the girls room and only a few more steps to the stair well. She had left while Robbie was telling me about how he fell asleep in the Santa Clause look-a-likes English class. I couldn't help but stare at her while she was talking to her friends that she always ended up walking with after we got out of the Math wing 6th period.
“Well she didn't say anything to you, did she?” Robbie asked, not even acknowledging my futile  prod at his horrible obsession with his boyfriend.
“No. But, but but, she didn't stop looking across the room at me.” I responded. I slammed my locker shut and we started walking to the stairwell.
“How would you know that she was staring at you?” He had a point.
“Because I couldn't take my eyes off of her.” I told the truth frankly.
“So what are you going to do about her?” He asked me.
“I DON'T KNOW!” I said very loudly. I held the door open for him to go through first to go into the very open lunch room. Since Katie was only a few feet a head of us she turned her head sharply to see what the commotion was. She continued walking but threw me a seductive smile that made me melt.
It was three days after homecoming. I had danced the night away with Katie. And we still had hardly talked since then. But today she talked to me about the upcoming election. She was a Democrat. In my book that's almost as bad as a lawyer. Sometimes worse. I really thought that either way we would be screwed so I didn't really give two wits. Thank God I wasn't old enough to vote.  But it hadn't just been me and her. It was our entire math class. Teacher included.
We took the turn to enter the lunch room. Katie almost always sat right by the entrance, and today was no different. When I passed behind her she reached around and grabbed my hand. I jolted back. I couldn't help it. But she just slid a note into my hand and then looked pointedly away from me and Robbie.
We kept walking to the lunch lines to meet up with Rachel, the new girl, and Toni, an old friend of mine and Robbie's. We had all become friends at different times, then we all realized we had lunch together, so now every day we sit together. Me and Robbie walk together from the Math hall to the lines. Rachel and Toni walk together from who knows where to here. They all hugged one another and Toni threw her arm around my shoulders and we got in line. I opened up the note Katie had given me.
“Dear Caylee,
I was wondering if I could talk to you today. Maybe we could sit together during lunch? Just me and you? I mean I need to talk to you. That's all.
<3 Katie
This was what I read. When I finished I folded the note back up and slid it into my back pocket. I turned around to my friends.
“Check y'all later.” I waved and slid out of the line.
“Wait whats going on? What are you doing?” Robbie asked trying to see over all of the people.
“I finally figured out what I am going to do.” I beamed, waved and ran back to the other end of the Cafe.  I slowed my pace infinitesimally so I wouldn't seem like I was anxious. Me? No, never!
I approached her table to see her crying. I sped back up to see what was wrong. So what if I am a sucker for a sad girl. It's not my fault.
“I just want everything to go away. Forever. Everything. NOW!” I heard her telling her friends. I walked up and all of her friends looked at me like I was the gum on the bottom of the desks. Something that should be scraped off and throw out without another glance. I ignored them but I still hesitated when I went to tap Katie on the shoulder. I fought my first instinct to turn tail and run. I tapped her on the shoulder lightly. She turned around and smiled at me.
“Are you Okay?” I asked her. I was very sympathetic. Or I could be.
“No. Nothing is okay.” She whispered. Well at least she is honest.
“Well do you still want to talk to me? If so we could go sit outside. If you want.” I asked very quickly and quietly.
“You do know that we know everything you know, right?” One of her friends asked me.
“You don't know everything, but I believe she will tell you everything that happens.” I said slightly curtly. My eyes never leaving Katies.
“As long as you know.” She replied. I touched her arm again.
“Uhm yeah. Do you know a good place to talk?”She looked up at me and asked.
“Of course I do. C'mon. I'll show you.” I held her chair out for her and held her hand when she got up. She took it back almost immediately though. We took off in the direction I had just come from. She walked out side and I followed. When we got out side, I pointed left, where almost no one sits. But there is a bench and she could sit there while we talked. She shivered against the late October wind. I immediately threw my backpack on the floor against the leg of the bench, the I took off my jacket and handed it to her. She looked at it and then at me.
“The wind is sort of chilling out here and you are wearing short sleeves. I'm good. Take it.” I said and gestured for her to take it again. The wind gusted slightly and she gave in and grabbed the Lumberjack shirt turned jacket.
“Aww. This Jacket is extremely warm.” She said and sunk into it.
“That could be why I hardly was allowed to wear it. So many people from my classes wanted to wear it. They still do half the time.” I said with a shrug. “I don't get cold to easy, but a lot of my friends do.” again I shrugged.
“Good to know that I can count on you for a jacket.” She said and laughed uneasily. She hadn't looked me in the eyes all day. She seemed to be looking for someone again. Someone who wasn't coming.
“So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked hoping to get her to look at me. It worked in a way. She didn't look at em in the eye. She looked at my shoulder.
“Umm, I don't want to be mean, but I want......”She paused to let out a breath and take another deeper one. “I want you to leave me alone.” She said this and finally looked me in the eyes momentarily. She looked away very quickly. Her eyes, though, had a pain and sadness in them. But I just sat there.
“Do you really want me to leave you alone?” I asked her. “ Honestly?”
“Honestly? No, I don't. I want you around more than anything.” She had tears in her whispers. “But I can't have  you and him. I already have him. And I don't want to take a chance on someone I hardly know. I can't do it. I'm sorry.” The entire time she spoke her voice quivered but on the word 'sorry' her voice actually broke.
I didn't wait at all. This was the way she needed it to be. I stood and grabbed my bag. I started to walk across the courtyard to Robbie, Rachel, and Toni. But I paused. I stopped and tilted my head back and said loud enough for her to hear me.
“Katie.” I heard her look up at her name, and she sniffled. “You already have me, too.” I said and walked away.
I could hear her actually crying. I walked completely across the open paved courtyard and set my stuff down on the ground propped p against the leg of the bench my friends were sitting on.
“Hey Caylee, wheres you jacket?” Rachel asked. I bet she wanted it too. That was when I realized that Katie was probably wiping her nose on it now. I just grinned.
“What are you so excited about Psycho?” Toni asked me. I just kept on a grinning.