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xerinth β Duality
Published: 2007-02-04 23:10:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 228; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 2
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Description
Staring into this cursed mirror, I seeanother person looking straight back at me
with my same expression, it throws at me lies
and I notice with horror that it smiles with no eyes.
This thing in the mirror canβt be me
for even in my darkest hours, I have my sanity;
this, however, is nothing but a shell
filled with dark desires and impulses to kill.
I look into the abyss that once held his eyes
and realize this thing is not just any person,
that this thing, this animal, is not just anyone,
but this animal is what I have become.
As I shudder in shock, I discover that
my hands act with a will of their own;
they reach out to the glass, and in one swift move
break it, shattering it to a million fragments
a million fragments of what I used to be
scattered now across the floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I look in this blessed mirror, I see
another person staring blankly back at me
with a hazed expression, it comforts my cries
and I notice with amazement that it has my eyes.
This person in the mirror used to be me
back in the time when I had my sanity
now, however, I am nothing but a shell
lacking the spark, the life, of my former self.
I search into the depths of my long forgotten eyes
and remember for a time who I used to be
how I felt, how I dreamt, how I was unique
and remember now what has been taken from me.
As I stare in wonderment, I notice that
my old hands act with a will of their own
they reach out, soothingly, to the glass
and in one swift move shatter it to a million fragments
a million fragments of what I used to be
scattered now across the floor.
Comments: 7
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I absolutely love how you have done this poem, wonderful diction and deep emotion!
The only thing is that you start every line with a capital even if there isn't a period in the line before it. That bugs me a little.
And I have a suggestion, this is completely up to you. Since you have this concept of a mirror and two similar but different versions of this poem put together, take the last stanza and make it first rather than last. It would look like this:
As I stare in wonderment, I notice that
My old hands act with a will of their own
They reach out, soothingly, to the glass
And in one swift move shatter it to a million fragments
A million fragments of what I used to be
Scattered now across the floor.
I search into the depths of my long forgotten eyes
And remember for a time who I used to be
How I felt, how I dreamt, how I was unique
And remember now what has been taken from me.
etc.
Like I said, completely up to you. It was only a suggestion.
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It's fantastic!
great work!
Once I finished reading it (which was a pleasure all throughout), I thought :"this could be a metaphor for bipolar disease or some sort of schizophrenia (not sure it's spelled right).
but i like you view too, of the person and the soul... now, which one is the soulis a bit entirely up to each and every one of us has we gaze into our own dualities.
Well done on this one!
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Very creative! I love the two separate views. I'm thinking the second one is the soul, although it would be interesting if it were the first one.
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I vote the second one's the soul.
Very nice piece, how they show different view points and mirror each other at the same time. It's a bit weird to me how it goes from rhyming to not, but that's just me.
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:jawsdrop: I thought good poets were an endangered species. Your poems prove that they can still be found.
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That is the most beautiful poem I've ever read...Sends shivers up my spine just to read it, and I love how you hear both sides of the mirror...whew
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