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Description
Art talk:

this is a Long over due commission I took to cover cremation funds for a pet that passed away a couple years ago, she exceeded her life expectancy, reaching nearly 10 years old (super old for a Marshall ferret!) and it was time to let her go. I finished it back in august of this year (2023)

I got really stumped on this commission. I couldn’t find good image references and it left me frustrated with having to just, figure out something without knowing if I was doing a good job. Then I lost the file and had to reconstruct the base image from a screenshot and go from there. The client was super patient with me though and after years of floundering over it I finally got it done.

i have a little backlog of owed SFW art I chip away at. I just have aHarder time doing sfw art? I started taking the commissions after my thumb surgery to afford a computer. But after a while I just, couldn’t do it anymore, I held myself to way to high of a standard and now it’s hard. NSFW is super easy, I can go on autopilot just fine I used to finish several full scale $400 commissions every week until my medication woes that I’m still going through at the moment. But SFW art? I guess my mind just holds it on a much higher pedestal and I won’t settle for less. Like my brain won’t allow me to finish something if it doesn’t look absolutely perfect or comparable to my favorite artists. It’s why I don’t often offer up SFW art commissions. It somewhat feels embarrassing when my big art pieces don’t look as good as artists that do it regularly and have been for years. It just take some way longer due to my own insecurities. I guess it can also be the reward of it, when I post nsfw art to my socials, it gets way more attention and way more engagement, and it’s marketing, but when I post SFW art, it falls on deaf ears.

But I don’t know, posting to DeviantArt may help mend my relationship with art. I feel like I can only draw if there is purpose. I can do comics because there is purpose in telling story, but I struggle to draw for myself. But seeing there is a community that likes what I make without it being adult orientated may allow me to trick my brain into liking personal art and SFW illustrating again.

Description
Art talk:

this is a Long over due commission I took to cover cremation funds for a pet that passed away a couple years ago, she exceeded her life expectancy, reaching nearly 10 years old (super old for a Marshall ferret!) and it was time to let her go. I finished it back in august of this year (2023)

I got really stumped on this commission. I couldn’t find good image references and it left me frustrated with having to just, figure out something without knowing if I was doing a good job. Then I lost the file and had to reconstruct the base image from a screenshot and go from there. The client was super patient with me though and after years of floundering over it I finally got it done.

i have a little backlog of owed SFW art I chip away at. I just have aHarder time doing sfw art? I started taking the commissions after my thumb surgery to afford a computer. But after a while I just, couldn’t do it anymore, I held myself to way to high of a standard and now it’s hard. NSFW is super easy, I can go on autopilot just fine I used to finish several full scale $400 commissions every week until my medication woes that I’m still going through at the moment. But SFW art? I guess my mind just holds it on a much higher pedestal and I won’t settle for less. Like my brain won’t allow me to finish something if it doesn’t look absolutely perfect or comparable to my favorite artists. It’s why I don’t often offer up SFW art commissions. It somewhat feels embarrassing when my big art pieces don’t look as good as artists that do it regularly and have been for years. It just take some way longer due to my own insecurities. I guess it can also be the reward of it, when I post nsfw art to my socials, it gets way more attention and way more engagement, and it’s marketing, but when I post SFW art, it falls on deaf ears.

But I don’t know, posting to DeviantArt may help mend my relationship with art. I feel like I can only draw if there is purpose. I can do comics because there is purpose in telling story, but I struggle to draw for myself. But seeing there is a community that likes what I make without it being adult orientated may allow me to trick my brain into liking personal art and SFW illustrating again.