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and i sat amongst the silence that's not exactly silent.  the lapping of the water around the dock seemed rhythmic with my thoughts.  i picked up the chatter of what birds are left this time of year in between the ringing in my ears from the auditory abuse, that i use to keep the world out of my life.  the air was crisp, but not chilling at all. i was perfectly comfortable in my favorite blue-jeans and hooded sweatshirt.  it was fresh and tasted clean.  i felt as if i were breathing with new lungs, ones that weren't damaged from all the stale air that i've been breathing for years.

i feel safe here.  it's the only reminder i have left of better times, that weren't as good as my child's mind presumed they were.  the cookouts, and swimming, fireworks and late night thunderstorms with the smartest man i know.  everything that i used to be, all the things i used to know flood my head with emotion.  i feel as if i'm bleeding.  like all the years of repressed emotion begin flowing freely.

the ice cracks near the dock snapping me out of my mind.  a raven caws, somewhere from a tree behind me.  a slight shiver runs down my spine.  the sun begins to set moving the shadow from the island across the cove, to my little piece of land.  i stand up, and the head back to the car parked in the drive.  the sound of my footsteps on the wooden dock seem to bid me farewell as i make my way back, telling me it shall see my bare-feet when the warmth returns to this land again.