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Description
There is an ache deep inside of me. Relentless and pounding, it's ripping me apart. Continuous throughout my day, turning my stomach upside down and making each movement heavier than the last. The strength it takes to simply exit my bed in the mornings seems so tiring I end up moving from one foetal position to another in a location removed slightly from my last. And the ache never ends.

It follows me through my dreams, runs through my body like a disease. It ravishes my mind with thoughts and ideas far removed from the norm. It is unrelenting.

It began innocuously enough, a slight pain in the back of my mind, pushing and prodding things which shouldn't be touched. It moved quicker after that. Determined and efficient it infected the rest of my body. My efforts to battle it leaving me fatigued and apathetic in the desire to create physical movement. And still the ache remains.

Pounding like tribal percussion, the beat accelerates. The ache which was once almost rational in it's rhythm becomes more primal in nature. Attacking my insides more like a violent member of an mental asylum, than the casual childlike abuse of household pets which preceded the assault that now exists. The ache feels like the physical manifestation of white noise, and it gives me a headache. I feel ill.

Moratorium.

Sudden and unexpected, the ache seems to fade to nothingness. This is of course an illusion. If it is quiet enough, and I sit quite still, concentrating, I feel it stir within me. Like a creature in hibernation. The peace will not last, but still I relish the feeling of the cold tiled floor beneath my feet. I drink some water to quell my churning stomach, and sit alone, patiently waiting. The ache remains, though asleep.

Then it awakens. Something seems slightly different this time. It moves more fluidly with me, more organically. It is uncomfortable and heavy on my back, slowly applying pressure to my spine, but it is not unmanageable with rest. I move slowly towards complacency. I pay a heavy toll soon after for this mistake.

It starts to hurt. I haven't felt anything but the numbing throb of the ache for so long, it feels liberating. But only for second. Soon the pain subsides as the newly incessant brutality of the ache becomes normality. Then I return to my foetal position in an attempt to ignore the corrosive rubbing of the ache against my internal organs. The ache is never ending and it is pulling apart the foundations of my sanity.

I close my eyes tight in an attempt to lock the door on the legions of creatures crawling under my skin and pounding beats and rhythms on my ribcage. I sink to the deepest recesses of my mind and imagine my exit, my move from this world to the next.

Would a golden chariot descend from the heavens, a motherly, angelic figure press me into her bosom and tell me to rest? Would the walls of my reality crack around me and would I fall forever into hell-fire and brimstone? Or would I simply fade away into nothingness. Strangely enough the latter suggestion terrifies me the least as nothingness would mean an escape of the constant pounding. The ache which travels within me.

Description
There is an ache deep inside of me. Relentless and pounding, it's ripping me apart. Continuous throughout my day, turning my stomach upside down and making each movement heavier than the last. The strength it takes to simply exit my bed in the mornings seems so tiring I end up moving from one foetal position to another in a location removed slightly from my last. And the ache never ends.

It follows me through my dreams, runs through my body like a disease. It ravishes my mind with thoughts and ideas far removed from the norm. It is unrelenting.

It began innocuously enough, a slight pain in the back of my mind, pushing and prodding things which shouldn't be touched. It moved quicker after that. Determined and efficient it infected the rest of my body. My efforts to battle it leaving me fatigued and apathetic in the desire to create physical movement. And still the ache remains.

Pounding like tribal percussion, the beat accelerates. The ache which was once almost rational in it's rhythm becomes more primal in nature. Attacking my insides more like a violent member of an mental asylum, than the casual childlike abuse of household pets which preceded the assault that now exists. The ache feels like the physical manifestation of white noise, and it gives me a headache. I feel ill.

Moratorium.

Sudden and unexpected, the ache seems to fade to nothingness. This is of course an illusion. If it is quiet enough, and I sit quite still, concentrating, I feel it stir within me. Like a creature in hibernation. The peace will not last, but still I relish the feeling of the cold tiled floor beneath my feet. I drink some water to quell my churning stomach, and sit alone, patiently waiting. The ache remains, though asleep.

Then it awakens. Something seems slightly different this time. It moves more fluidly with me, more organically. It is uncomfortable and heavy on my back, slowly applying pressure to my spine, but it is not unmanageable with rest. I move slowly towards complacency. I pay a heavy toll soon after for this mistake.

It starts to hurt. I haven't felt anything but the numbing throb of the ache for so long, it feels liberating. But only for second. Soon the pain subsides as the newly incessant brutality of the ache becomes normality. Then I return to my foetal position in an attempt to ignore the corrosive rubbing of the ache against my internal organs. The ache is never ending and it is pulling apart the foundations of my sanity.

I close my eyes tight in an attempt to lock the door on the legions of creatures crawling under my skin and pounding beats and rhythms on my ribcage. I sink to the deepest recesses of my mind and imagine my exit, my move from this world to the next.

Would a golden chariot descend from the heavens, a motherly, angelic figure press me into her bosom and tell me to rest? Would the walls of my reality crack around me and would I fall forever into hell-fire and brimstone? Or would I simply fade away into nothingness. Strangely enough the latter suggestion terrifies me the least as nothingness would mean an escape of the constant pounding. The ache which travels within me.