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| Enzeru-no-hikari
Enzeru-no-hikari
[4891766]
[]
"Too lazy to change UN"
# Statistics
Favourites: 740; Deviations: 0; Watchers: 25
Watching: 80; Pageviews: 6025; Comments Made: 1750; Friends: 80
# Comments
Comments: 427
No problem! I'm surprised I wasn't already, ahaha.
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soon I'm not going to be able to turn around on the internet without you saying 'I SAW THAT' xD ahahahaha i dont mind by the way. I'm very flattered ^__^
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Oh my god, ahahaha. At least I don't see and tell? :'D Ahh, that's good. I wouldn't want to seem like a stalker or anything. o_o
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Lol no you don't seem like one at all ahaahahahaha
even if you did see and tell, I wouldn't mind.
It's not like I'm doing illegal things or embarrassing things or anything of the sort
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Ehehe, I respect other people's space too much to be a stalker. I could be called an observer though, if there is any difference. |D
Even if you were, not like I would say anything. I also respect people's choices. c': Ughh, now I'm singing Respect, ahahaha.
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r.e.s.p.e.c.t. find out what it means to me R E S P E C T
AHEM
anyway 
and yeah. there definitely is a difference between stalking and observing xD
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Ahhh, now it's stuck in my head again, ahaha.
Yeeaaah, when they do make dumb choices it bothers me, but not enough to say something to their face. e_e If they want to be stupid that's their business, plus I sometimes get to laugh at them. 8D
Oh good, but it's too bad I stare intently when I space out, even if I happen to be looking at someone. ;_; I don't mean to, I swear.
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suuuuckaaah ahahahaha
Well yeah. Because no matter what, I personally like to give people the benefit of the doubt, that they're capable of intelligent decisions. so proof that they dont always makes me more... disappointed than anything else. especially if it's someone I care about.
ahahaha i do the same thing xD though i usually zone back in to find myself staring at someones private bits. which is...interesting to explain ahahaha
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Oh man, you tricked me. e.e!
Ahh, yeah, that makes sense. I didn't think about it in that way. This made me look up a word just to realize I had been using it wrong all this time. So yaaay for learning something new. :'D
Oh my god, ahahaha. I usually stare at the face, but I can just imagine explaining that one.
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what word???
ahahaha yeah. I wish I starred vacantly at people's faces. that would be MUCH easier to explain xD
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Complacent. I suppose I was looking for complaisant, but even that is not exactly what I wanted. Hmmm.
Ahaha, yeah, except for when it's a guy you will later have a crush on. Thinking back on it now is awkward, pfff. I should have stared at someone else. |D
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[link]
if you're trying to find words, try this link
AHAHA. Nah! That's just cute
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Ohhh, that's really neat! Thanks. O_O I'll definitely use this. (I'm terrible at remembering words, sob.)
Oh no, I agree, it's funny. Mainly because I had no interest in him whatsoever. I even annoyed the crap out of him for the hell of it, that's how much I did not care. lol Strange the way emotions can change. |D
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ahaha so am I. its a problem xD
Yeah. emotions are ridiculous that way. especially since the shift can happen so quickly xD
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I hate when it happens in English, like c'mon now really. ;_;
Abragh. I'm not even sure why I started to like him, and I regret it soooo much now. Oh well, experience is experience and hopefully makes us better somehow. =w=
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yeah like. in the middle of an english essay. and its just like. damnit. really. COME ON. /ragerageangst
ahahaha no point regretting it. its a sad way to live with regrets like that. we like the people we like for whatever reason at the time, and then when we look back we can go 'that was a terrible decision and I'm never doing that again'.
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Uggh, yeah, or if you're having a discussion in class. sob.
Ohhh, that's a much better way to put it. I mean, I don't regret liking people that much. I regret wasting the time, but not the feeling. Plus some of that feeling helps my writing, so it's not all negative. |D
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ahaha. i sound soooo unintelligent in class discussions 90% of the time. not like. dumb as a brick. i think i probs just sound like an ass really...
hmm yeah that makes sense. oh the amount of time i've wasted on crush related stuff..... i'd forgotten some of this...no brain stop damnit
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Ohhh yeah, same here. Or I'm brain dead but decide to open my mouth anyway. Then I sound slow, ahaha. At least I got somewhere.
Ahhh, sorry, didn't mean to remind you. D: Although I find it kind of funny I am forcing myself to remember my first real love for a writing assignment, despite the fact it literally made me gag. What I go through for my art and education.
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Ahahaha. Yep know that feeling too. Especially since I'm usually dead tired in class, which means my tongue won't always work properly. So the words come out garbled or slurred. And I bet everyone thinks I'm either retarded, drunk, or stoned out of my mind. Or a mixture of all three.
Oh it's no problem. I unintentionally remind myself all the time. Usually when I'm feeling shitty. My subconscious hates me.
Yeah know how that is, bro. I'm writing a play right now, and am putting a whole bunch of person issues into the main character to make her seem more realistic. Makes it very exhausting to write.
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Oh gosh, ahaha. Now I wonder if people think the same for me.
Yeeah, that happens to me with trigger words. I hate it. Oh, that sounds really interesting though. : o I'm sure it'll be worth the exhaustion in the end.
Wow, this headache is making me type practically nothing substantial. x.x
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so what if they do 
I'm lucky in the sense that not much triggers memories. I usually have to drag them back out again, since I'm fairly good at controlling my own mind
mm know that feel too. I just got back from school and it feels like my skull is gonna split right open #ughughugh
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Oh, I agree, what I meant to say is that I would find it funny if they did. |D (Considering I've never been stoned or drunk, ever.)
Luuuucky. I guess I should just be thankful that I know my trigger words, and that they don't always succeed in triggering a memory. It's hit or miss, have to concentrate on why the word is familiar and significant.
Yuck, I'm sorry, was it a migraine? D:
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Aye it would xD Ahh I remember being that way; the innocent clean. Mind you, I've never been stoned. But I've gotten drunk a few times.
The mind is funny that way. And yeah, its good that you know your triggers. Better than getting hit with them suddenly.
No idea. I think it was a mix of too much sensory stimuli, not enough sleep, and no food.
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I've never been put in a situation where I could get stoned. (Drunk, yes, but it was beer and I'm not a fan of the taste. Bleh.) I will be innocent until I'm legally able to drink. ... And feel like getting drunk. |D
Ahaha, when I start to feel the memories resurface my mind goes, "NOPE.", and I quickly try to distract myself. I find it kind of funny.
Nrgh, those are the worst kind. e.o
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omg I just had a moment where I was like 'OMG HOW OLD ARE YOU' and then I remembered the legal drinking age is higher in the USA xD
Yeah, beer is gross. I prefer Italian liquors and whiskey over beer. Though... I've tried a few higher quality beers that I didn't mind. Idk XD
And me neither, so far as being stoned goes. It's never held any interest for me. I've had opportunities but I just really find nothing alluring about it.
Yeah I know that feeling
Yeeep they aren't fun at all >_>
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EHEHEHE. Yeeaah. I'm still a baby here in the U.S. But only for about five more months. B)
Hmmm, then I'll probably ask you for recommendations when the time comes. :'D
Same here, and now that I think about it, it might have to do with an aversion to smelling like whatever is being smoked. (I have a friend who smokes and I usually end up smelling like it. |: )
Ehehe, too bad it won't stop me from getting fat.
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yeah I'd have over a year to go if I were in the states. Lucky I'm NOT bwahahahaha
xD I don't know how useful I'd be, since most alcohol is a mystery to me. Especially once they start mixing them to make new things with weird names.
But I'll see if I can get the names of some higher quality beers for ya, if you want
YEP the smell is definitely part of it.
yeah no kidding right. that would be lovely if mental exercise worked out your body too.
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Ahaha, lucky you.~ |D
Yesss, chances are I'll only be able to afford beer anyway, so might as well go high quality. :'D
I would never get fat, although I might become underweight. D: I'm finally starting to fatten up so I'm not. (The only reason I'm ok with my fat. lmao)
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i guess xD I dont take advantage of it that much.
eh, its not as expensive as you may think. some of it is obviously. but not all of it.
well laaa dee da for you ahahaha
im convinced that one day im going to have to roll to move around. and it kinda freaks me out a bit
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I probably wouldn't either, but it's nice to have the option. xD
Hopefully I don't have expensive tastes, then. o_o
Ahaha, yeeaah, I swear I'm not trying to brag about being skinny or anything. :C I really was freaked out about being underweight because it causes quite a few health problems that I had. >_>
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Yeah. it's always nice to have the option, and the ability to make your own decisions
Mm, yep. That's a good hope to have
oh i know
Envious, perhaps. But thats it.
There are health problems no matter which way you tip on the scale; under or over weight. im fortunate in the sense that I'm not quite overweight. So my health issues are more from lack of activity and terrible eating habits, than weight related.
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For some reason that made me think of the phrase, "When one door closes another one opens."
Ahh, well, that doesn't sound too bad. As long as you don't feel rich all the time, ahaha.
I figured as much, but I also know how text can come off with out a person saying it. I am always misunderstood, so I clarify just in case. lmao
I'm envious of you being an appropriate weight. D: (I'm out of shape too, but I'd still like to be within my weight range. e.e)
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its a good phrase, and especially helpful, I think, when life is just being a massive butt, and nothing seems to be going your way.
ahaha no I hardly ever feel rich. xD
Fair enough. There are a lot of touchy people out there, where all it takes is a badly toned 'hi' and they're off. I used to be super careful about not being misunderstood, but now I just don't care. Unless I like the person, and I've been really insulting. Or something. Idk. For the most part, I don't care.
Mm. It's not all sunshine and butterflies, and I could certainly stand to lose about ten (possibly twenty since it's been a while since I braved the scale) pounds. But I'd do that easily if I just stopped eating so much sugar >_>
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Man, I wish I remembered that phrase this week, ahaha. It started out alright but by the end of the week I was just ready to do absolutely nothing productive. College sometimes, throws you for a loop. lol
Yeah, I get that. I admire you for being able to not care. I am a bit timid and hate confrontation, so I keep my mouth shut instead. My dad gets after me for it too. lmao I have never really been assertive by nature, I have to be coerced into it.
Oh god, sugar. The biggest enemy to us all. e.e I believe that is the only reason I have gained any weight, which is not the kind I want, ahaha. Maybe I'll do something about it over the summer, probably not, but at least I'll think about it.
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I think, as students, that we're entitled to a bit of absolutely-nothing-productive. College/University is just one loop after another, and they wonder why we get motion sick. Keep your chin up though, man. It's not the be all end all. Even college ends, so use your nothing-productive time to your greatest advantage
Unfortunately, confrontation holds no horror for me. I basically grew up in some kind of confrontation or another, and now I feel like, if there's a problem and talking about it will help, then I don't care how confrontational it is, I'll do it. I guess I'm a bit of a hard-ass that way.
ahahaha. Once my last exam is over, I'm going on a cleanse for a bit. Hopefully I'll be able to shed some of the unhealthy pounds that way.
(OH also. soooooo sorry that I havent finished that pic yet. The anatomy was giving me a super hard time, then I got slammed with finals, and final projects, and friend drama. I'm going to try to work on it asap though)
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Ahhh, thank you, I had never really thought of it that way. I just get anxious being lazy, but you're right. Plus I managed my time pretty well, so it all works out in the end. c':
Naah, it's a good quality to have, so I don't see it as hard ass. You're just straightforward. I should learn from you, ahaha.
Good luck, losing those unhealthy pounds! Lose some for me too. lol
Oh, don't worry about it. I am super patient when it comes to art, take as long as you need. (I appreciate you taking the time to update me though! That's what counts in my mind, and sorry to hear about the drama.)
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You're welcome.
and so long as you manage your time well, theres no reason not to relax
Bless you for saying that
ahahaha well if you want to learn from me, i would be honored. But i think you're just fine the way you are ^^
I meant to message you a few weeks back, when I started getting so bogged down, but it slipped my mind :<
I will defs try to hurry though!
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Ahh, you always make good points. I enjoy hearing what you think, it cheers me up. When I'm busy over complicating things, you lay it out simply and it just makes sense. It's eye-opening, really. Thank you again. c':
I appreciate honesty above almost everything. I would rather someone be upfront with me, otherwise I'll misunderstand. So the people who don't like it, don't understand how precious true honesty is these days.
Daww, thanks. ;u; But yeah, I could definitely improve myself by learning from people like you.
It's cool, I know how it is. Especially right now when all of my final papers are due along with final exams. e.e Soooo looking forward to being done.
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That...I... I'm truly honored. Most of the people I'm friends with IRL only come to me for opinions when their life is severed fucked up, or they've reached their wits end. For the most part, they ignore me when I try to tell them what I think
Mm, same! True honesty is incredibly hard to come by. Unfortunately, I've developed a very serious trust complex. I take everything with a grain of salt, and am constantly trying to deduce true intentions. Or I simply ignore some things, because they sound like lies to me.
Because of that though, and because I know how hard trust is, I always strive to tell the truth as purely as I can from my point of view.
And I'm the same way. I prefer people are just upfront. The games people play are just too ridiculous for me. I don't understand them and find them entirely too exhausting. Like, if something is wrong, just SAY something. I'll never know otherwise, and will never be able to fix what's wrong.
Well, self improvement is important. It's what keeps us moving forward!
Yeaaah, I know that feeling. I finished my last exam on the 25th, then work and social obligations suddenly all sat on me. Just. What. And then I got sick. Huzzah.
But at least now I can sleep when I want, and get some serious artsy stuff done. Drawing and writing for me for the next month! As few people interactions as I can. Except for on the internet of course ahahaha xD
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Daww, you're welcome. ;u; It's such a waste not to value other view points, especially ones like yours. And wow, that's kind of rude to ignore you like that. Just because they may not agree with you or don't like your opinion doesn't mean they should brush it off. |: I mean, you took the time to help them out in the first place, sheesh.
Ahh, yeah, I understand that, although I feel like I am the total opposite. I'm kind of gullible if only because I want to believe in people on some level. I know I should question more, but it's interesting to hear certain things even if they aren't true. I might spend too much time in imagination land and just kind of accept whatever in real life simply because it is entertaining. OTL
That's all anyone can ever ask for, and thank you for being so willing to be honest. I appreciate it. :'D (Hopefully, I do the same for you.)
Exactly. I used to play those games, and god, it always took forever to get over /anything./ I should have just been upfront from the beginning. Thankfully I've learned from those mistakes.
Ahh, I feel so bad for taking forever to respond. I'm jealous you got done so early ahaha. ;u; I just had my last exam yesterday, and spent the last two weeks writing papers/projects non-stop. Soooo ready to let my brain relax a little. UGH. I hate that! You finally get a moment to catch your breath and then illness strikes.
Same here. Well, except I'll be playing all these video games I've bought over the years that I never bothered to play, ahaha. Good luck with your art and writing. \ouo
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Eh, I kind of understand it to a certain point. Since most of my friends knew me during the hawkward period of time when I was trying to figure out just what my opinions were, so I'd end up talking in circles a lot. It can get frustrating listening to someone, in essence, arguing with themselves.
Also a lot of my viewpoints have broadened and changed as I've gotten older, so a lot of the ones I used to have were very... naive, I suppose. So they weren't all that worthwhile in some cases.
But thank you. I'm flattered you think so highly of me #blushing
I think the way you are is preferable and worthy of admiration. Only seeing the cruel, manipulative, sick side of humanity can be very draining, and can cause anyone to become jaded and cynical. I try to stay open minded, and open hearted, but it's become difficult. That's not to say that I don't sincerely see the good in humanity as well. I just find myself unable to assume that anyone is truly good or honest until I've known them for a while and get a grip on their personality and values.
Yeah no problem
So long as you learn from your mistakes 
ahahaha don't worry about it. I've been sooo slovenly since my school ended. I've been playing SO much dragon age: origins it's not even funny. As well as other games of course, though I've been trying to get back into my writing and arts with very little success. Motivation is a tricky mistress.
At least you also get to relax now!
(good hearing from you by the way. it was a nice surprise
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Ahh, so it's based on prior conversations, I see. However, at that age I think we all sort of just argue with ourselves through others. It's pretty common. Most of the time they want someone else to talk to without any input. (Personally I think it's just easier to talk to myself than use someone else, but maybe I'm just crazy. 8D)
Yeah, I get that, but at the same time they could at least acknowledge you've grown instead of assuming when they talk to you it will be like old times. Always have to be willing to give people chance, especially friends. Ahhh, don't mention it. uwu
Thank you for saying so. ;u; I kind of gave up on being too cynical after a while, simply because I was always so unhappy. (This was back in like junior high, but I was lucky enough to realize it.) It's not an easy thing to do, by any means. I still have my moments and prejudices, although I try not to. And that's a healthy way to go about it, I feel. Jumping to any sort of conclusion before knowing a person can end horribly whether they are good or not.
That's a good point. o_o I never thought of that before, ahaha.
LOL Well, nobody's perfect and we all have those moments where we go, "Why the fuck not?" Past experience be damned, I do what I want. (Also, there are waaay worse things that could be done. Just one of those, as long as I don't do it too often, type deals. Or it becomes a habit.)
Ahh, I never got to play that one! Always wanted to, I jumped straight into the second Dragon Age. (Not that I didn't enjoy it, for what it's worth, but playing the original would be fun.) I hear ya on the game front, I finally got through Kid Icarus after buying it last year, ahaha. Oh boy, I hope you find some motivation between all the gaming. (And even if you don't, that you at least have fun with your games. c': )
Yesss, best thing ever. Staying up all night sleeping all day. This is what I live for. B)
(Now you're making me blush. ;u; I'm glad I could provide a nice little surprise!)
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Ahahaha, you're not crazy at all. I talk to myself, I talk to my stuffed animals, I talk to the wall. Sometimes, I just talk out loud to nothing in particular, for no reason in particular.
Oh for sure! I think most of my friends just aren't really willing to mentally go wherever it is I am. Not to say that they're stupid, because they're far from it. They just don't get as much enjoyment out of mental pursuits in some instances
It's like that oooold saying 'never judge a book by its cover'. I feel like it's an important one, and one to always keep in mind when meeting new people
I think I have a lot of moments like that xD I have too much of a Loki 'i do what i want' attitude about most stuff. Like, not to the point where I'm harming anyone, or getting myself kicked out of public places. But I figure, why live with regrets. So I do what I feel like doing, and I don't regret it!
Oh man I'm so looking forward to playing DA2, though I'm really enjoying origins right now
My sleep schedule is SO screwed xD It's making my afternoon shifts at work really painful xD
blushing for everyone!!!
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I'M REPLYING TO THIS NOW EVEN THOUGH IT HAS BEEN AT LEAST A MONTH. (I made the mistake of taking a summer course, and then disappearing into the abyss once it was over.)
Exactly! I take quite a long time to get my thoughts in order, and it is more convenient to think aloud than to someone else while I do so. Half the time I talk to with someone I will struggle through what I want to convey, but after walking away the idea will come to me in waves. It is frustrating, ahaha.
I see! Now that I completely understand. That is, in all likelihood, the best explanation for what conversations with my father are like. (Unless we are discussing something he has an interest in.) Oh well, different strokes for different folks.
I generally feel the same way, although I must admit I do have a tendency to make little mental notes about people. Not necessarily judgments, but I am prone to noticing odd quirks about people. I suppose as long as it does not interfere with how I interact with them in a negative way, it is not such a big deal.
Ahhh, that has to be the best way to defuse an argument too. Unless the person refuses to acknowledge the rationale behind subjectivity as it correlates to the argument, but no one likes to discuss anything argument-able with people like that anyway. >:C
Yesss, that attitude makes life more exciting. It is strange that humans even have regrets. No matter what decisions are made in any given situation, there will be consequences so you might as do what you want without regret. (Like you do. c: )
I am guessing you have played DA2 by now, so how did you like it?
Oh man, I am up until the sun rises every night. I sleep until the afternoon, and the cycle repeats. (I do not know how you do it with a job, that must be torture. D: )
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Wow. I'm so sorry I haven't been on dA in FOREVER. I've been avoiding it, I guess, because there are SO many pictures in my watch thing.
SO I've just been putting it off.
And then I went away the last few weeks of august, and now school.
How did your summer course go by the way?? Are you in classes now or???
Have you written anything else??? I feel like this may be a better way to talk than NG. Unless you have skype or something?
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You're welcome, your art is lovely. ;;
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Thanks for the 
Enjoy!
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