BryonyTemple [2014-05-27 12:10:14 +0000 UTC]

Stop!
This is NOT a chainmail and you DON'T need to read it because it will NOT end your life if you do NOT do so!

Once, or maybe twice upon a time, there was a very pretty boy called Malik Blishtar. He lived happily with his wife Bakura until the two of them decided to have their first anniversary party in Bowser's kitchen. They fainted from the smell of Mario's signature boiled dung and woke up to find that their clothes had been eaten by a purple exploding Totoro. And then the couple heard a voice shouting:
'Toilets on motorcycles!'
It was Ack Jatlas, who had incarnated as a yellow polkadot rabbit. Malik and Bakura, who were stunned by the unfettered radness of Ack's getup, decided to climb on board his motorbike (which had been customised with 50 fully functional toilets) to take a ride to be Buttcave.
Upon arrival in the Buttcave, walking through a luridly coloured corridor into a loudly wallpapered room with butterflies dancing on the ceiling, was the legendary Buttman himself, sitting on a throne made entirely of lipsticks.
'O almighty stupendous magnificent and utterly macho Buttman, will you save us and fire of Buttmissiles into the Totoro's ancient high-rise apartment? We'd do it ourselves, but we've already humiliated ourselves enough.'
Suddenly, out of the floral-printed lacy floor rug burst an orange Buttmobile, which was blaring out Buttmusic and decorated with extremely macho Buttglitter.
'Aw man!' griped Ack. 'Can't I travel in a Buttmobile that's a little less glaring? Don't you have one in grey?
Buttman stood still, as elegant and powerful as a Siamese cat in a tuxedo. 'I only work in black--' he paused to straighten his Buttwaistcoat-- 'and sometimes very, very bright pink.'
So Malik, Bakura, Ack, Buttman and 49 Buttgroupies climbed into the Buttmobile... or so they thought. The vehicle zoomed at up to 7 miles an hour, causing the passengers to vomit as blood oozed out of their every orifice. Then, 74 hours later, the vehicle made its way into the Totoro's front door and transformed into a very realistic and completely legit Buttnewspaper. The Totoro picked up the Buttnewspaper to read the funnies.
And then Buttnewspaper, all 53 of its passengers,  the apartment block and every single troll living in it exploded.

The moral of this epic tale is this: If you don't repost this comment on every DA account you find, you, too, will explode.

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MissMusicObsession [2012-08-30 17:05:02 +0000 UTC]

Hiya!

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Recsails [2012-03-07 00:45:20 +0000 UTC]

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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cocoabeanbrunetti [2012-02-08 05:52:21 +0000 UTC]

I wuv you Davie.<3

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elm4 [2012-01-17 11:21:49 +0000 UTC]

Hey David, what is it like to be so ridiculously sexy??

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Recsails [2011-12-30 21:21:51 +0000 UTC]

HAI DAVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ZapoLight79 [2011-12-04 23:37:44 +0000 UTC]

sup Davie. I love you!

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