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101 — Sonnet
Published: 2004-06-20 18:32:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 5201; Favourites: 60; Downloads: 73
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Description
As aeons chart the birth and death of starsOur lives are numbered minutes, hours and days;
The end of time seems far too far away
To try to stretch a mortal love like ours.
To seize the infinite’s not in my powers;
An epoch’s longer than we can delay
Our lives’, our love’s inexorable decay;
As temporal as flowers in a vase.
But if we grasp each moment that we get -
Each cigarette, each kiss, each coffee cup,
Each friendly fight about the washing up,
Each smile, each fleeting bliss - then we may yet
Create a universe within each breath,
Immortalised each second; cheating Death.
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Comments: 29
I like the vovla here, the poem brightens instantly when you contrast between the human experience and the vastness of space. It's a nice effect.
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the rhyme scheme isn't typical of a sonnet but your iambic parameter is correct... very pretty
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I believe it was a Italian sonnet because it has an abbacddc.... pattern so it is a typical rhyme scheme.
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I randomly searched sonnets because I have to write one for an English assignment...
Never thought I'd find something like this.
Sheer amazingness, my friend.
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you say it straight, no dithering or concealing. i like that. but mostly i like the washing up tiff..those little moments live right there, rather than some conjured idea of how it should be
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Economic and clever without getting too heady, and the movement through to the conclusion is though not in its versical structure, but in its logical progression, very Shakespearian. Damn, it's nice to breathe some clean poetic air around here, it's tough to sniff out with all the sloppy wet farts crowding the field.
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You were born in the wrong century, like Chris Isaak was born in the wrong decade.
Despite its appearance, I mean that as a high compliment.
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wow, and that last line is so epic, yet fresh and.... just perfect. I love this poem, though cliche by subject it's beautifully original.
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Well done, I do like this. It sort of reflects my current situation... lol.. Well, sort of last weeks current situation, funny how fast things change, isn't it?
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Thank you. Very gratifying to hear that others can find something to relate to in my scribblings.
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Holy crap, you are amazing. You have made the traditional new.
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Lovely sonnet - your rhymes and meter are flawless.
I'm just trying to figure out what your rhyme-scheme is - I don't think it's typical of a sonnet.
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it's 3 quatrains (abba,cddc,effe) followed by a couplet.
she's taken some liberties in the use of offrhymes
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Flattered that you've taken me for a "she", I guess...
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inexorable...
comme toujours, mon brave.
*sighs and imagines reading Donne by moonlight in the forest*
(P.S I know my eyesight is too poor to read any thing by moonlight, but I was being poetic. The cigarette and coffee cup line is beautiful.)
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dunno if i got this worng... but it sounds liek your really appreciating the other half taht is 101... perhaps i shouldn't be such an arse in lessons... ive read over this a coupel of times to take it in... i get the feeling its troubled... perhaps a rocky stage in the path taht is love... anyway im probably bablin...
'Our lives’, our love’s inexorable decay;
As temporal as flowers in a vase.' - favourite line
keep it up
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