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Published: 2005-11-12 20:40:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 3745; Favourites: 109; Downloads: 159
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The kid who sat in front of me in class was really quiet today. It's weird, because we usually talk a lot when we're both actually here at the same time. It was a weird day, because it seemed like everyone was in class. Like, all the seats were taken and that hardly ever happens. And when everyone's here, it's never really quiet at all. See, I go to a D.C. public high school, which, if you live anywhere around here, you'd know that we have an incredibly high absence rate. And even when there's like half the kids than normal in class, it's never quiet. I mean, sometimes I think you learn more not going to my school than when you actually go. So, most of the time it's kind of thin in school. But, there were plenty of kids in class today.I like to sit in the back of the class when I have a choice. That's probably like most of you. I guess I just don't like to be noticed. Plus, it's easier to get away with shit back here. I write a ton of stuff (unrelated to the class, of course) and doing that in the back of the class actually can look like I'm doing something related to class. Not to say that the teacher is stupid, because I've been caught talking, passing notes, and one time I was so confident in my back of the class hiding, that I took off my shoes and socks and tried to dig out a splinter that was in buried in my big toe. I don't know what I was thinking that time. But I've gotten away with much more stuff than I ever got caught doing. I'm not really a bad kid, I don't think. Not too much bad stuff happens to me.
The kid in front of me's name is Jeff. And he's one of those kids that bad shit happens to all the time. It's weird. He is such a great person, I think. I only really talk to him in school. It's not like I've ever been to his house. But we talk a lot in class and we hang out whenever we see each other before or after school. But, he's one of those kids who's hardly ever in school. I think there's trouble at his home because he says some stuff, but never too much, you know? Anyways, he can't really escape from anything by going to school because I swear, just so much bad shit happens to him. Like, and I actually saw this, but this one time, he was in the cafeteria and walked randomly right into the line of fire just as some asshole threw a half-open chocolate pudding from his table into the garbage can. But instead of reaching the trashcan, the thing hit Jeff square in the thigh and splattered all over his jeans. I mean that kind of thing just sucks. And it's so random because why the hell did that even have to happen? But Jeff's the one who gets laughed at and the idiot who threw the stuff laughs his ass off telling the story all day.
And then another time, Jeff drew this really cool picture for an art project he was working on. And I mean he is really good artist. And he seemed really proud with this one. He showed it to me before school and was like, "I never like anything I draw, but this came out awesome." But then I saw him later that day and he was so depressed. He told me that right before art, he had to use the bathroom and had all of his stuff in there and while he was pissing, the poster fell under the sink and got all kinds of nasty skank water on it and it was pretty much ruined. I felt horrible for him.
I know all of this seems like little stuff to you, but I can tell another ten stories off the top of my head and probably more if I thought about it. And even after those, I think there's a ton more shitty stories about Jeff's life that no one will even know about. But, he's cool and I like it when we talk.
So, usually when we're both here, we talk in the back of the class. But today, I dunno, it just seemed weird since he didn't even say hi or notice my existence at all. I assumed he was just having a really hard day. He looked like he was working on something though because he was all hunched over. I'm pretty sure it was for another class or just some random art because if I was supposed to be doing something for this class, I totally missed it. It's kind of like I've been missing a lot today.
Mr. Goodyear was in front of the class, and started talking. The weird thing was that everyone was so effing quiet. It was odd. Jeff was still hunched over and working when Mr. Goodyear said, "I know this is a hard day for everyone and if you need to see the counselor, just raise your hand."
I pretty much didn’t know what he was talking about. But Jeff looked up and raised his hand. Mr. Goodyear smiled. Jeff got up and tacked a drawing to the board before he left to see the counselor. Poor guy. I knew something was up. I made a mental plan to find him later on and just talk to him about something random to get his mind off of whatever shit was bothering him. But I changed my mind after class when I got up to look at the drawing he posted before I left.
It was a drawing of me, with my name at the top in block letters. At the bottom it said, "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Ian. R.I.P."
Related content
Comments: 75
pookiexcore [2007-08-09 05:50:03 +0000 UTC]
.. *sniffle* ..
This gave me goosebumps..
I miss you, Ian.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TheLadyOfTheRain [2007-06-29 23:38:28 +0000 UTC]
I can't believe this. Really I can't. And now, Jeff, if you are out there, I hope that you DO draw a picture of Ian, and you can write RIP accross the bottom. He said he wasn't physic, but....that's creepy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Fertility [2007-06-25 16:59:56 +0000 UTC]
Sometimes I have to force myself to read the whole passage. But this was so different.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
roozbeh1986 [2007-04-26 13:39:33 +0000 UTC]
fantastic, I loved it.
check out my writting if u get the time.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
pookiexcore In reply to roozbeh1986 [2007-08-09 05:48:26 +0000 UTC]
he can't check out your writting.. ever..
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
YHWHbc [2007-04-14 04:34:49 +0000 UTC]
thats an excellent story, i really liked and the last line scared me the most...my name is ian. lol, its kinda freaky, but i like it. i think i'll look up some more of you're stuff, its really good!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MessaBub [2006-11-25 20:17:42 +0000 UTC]
Wow, that's the first time I read a short story with such a surprise ending and started crying. This is a powerful piece.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Bad-little-Demon [2006-07-11 21:03:40 +0000 UTC]
I don't like it. I mean, it's good. I like it. But... It's too sad. ;=;
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
x-broken [2006-06-28 06:57:14 +0000 UTC]
That's amazing.
So sad, yet brilliant. It's fantastic.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Mantisss [2006-04-11 13:02:35 +0000 UTC]
Oh my ...
I really enjoyed this, and the ending is just perfect.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Dead-Angel144 [2006-03-16 11:29:41 +0000 UTC]
wow........just wow. It reminds me of the film 'The Sixth Sense'.
I'm trying to write a story based on fear....i don't suppose you have any suggestions, do you?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Miina-san [2006-01-12 22:47:54 +0000 UTC]
Wow, that's really well done. I've lost three friends in the past 9 months(today exactly), and 2 of them were only a month ago, so this really hits hard. You presented it so well, and the ending had the perfect effect. You got the feeling down perfect.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
iamthesky [2006-01-04 14:49:53 +0000 UTC]
wow
this is such a great piece
if only i could write as well as you....
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
StaceyRobson [2006-01-04 01:54:45 +0000 UTC]
You know, thats a really awesome little piece of writing. The twist at the end was so entirely unexpected (and I'm usually quite good at picking these things up), and I also think that the abrupt ending is perfect. If it had been dragged out any more it wouldn't have been anywhere near as effective.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
oSYNo [2006-01-03 12:53:28 +0000 UTC]
Beautifully written. The ending was... Completely unexpected.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Chuchkit [2006-01-01 13:51:19 +0000 UTC]
That is really really good.
I guessed what the pic would be about.
But the writings. errr.. gives a lot of stuff to wonder about.
It's really gr8!
It's sad, though i don't quite understand why. just sad.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Lady-Lire [2005-12-17 04:46:37 +0000 UTC]
This is an incredibly touching story. It starts out in what seems to be an oridinary way, but you just have a way of keeping a person interested. The ending was a magnificently sad twist, but it was beautiful at the same time. Your writing style is incredible. Fantastic job. I really hope that you're proud of this piece.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
mymystery [2005-12-13 17:00:48 +0000 UTC]
wow never expected that ending, I thought he was going to murder someome
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
loserkid-defined [2005-12-13 02:24:16 +0000 UTC]
wow, thats so incredibly sad, you are an amazing writer..
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Shyhone [2005-12-11 04:36:09 +0000 UTC]
yea i forgot to read your comment and i totally thought that this was real and i was like why didnt you just make it a journal that was untill i got to the end heh heh :B
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Shyhone [2005-12-11 03:07:51 +0000 UTC]
yea i totlly forgot to read your comment before i read this and i thought it was totally real untill i got to the ending heh heh :B
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Shyhone [2005-12-11 03:07:50 +0000 UTC]
yea i totlly forgot to read your comment before i read this and i thought it was totally real untill i got to the ending heh heh :B
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
flyingweasle [2005-12-06 02:53:14 +0000 UTC]
i'm speechless, that literally made me gasp. fantastic. my writing teacher would say "it was very honest", but i say... dang. fantabulous.
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ChibiSilverWings [2005-11-19 19:25:58 +0000 UTC]
Gahh! Your writting is amazing! I love reading it (when I get a chance! I've been so busy that I haven't gotten to read this til now) But I really enjoyed it! Thanks so much for sharing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Lovin-kirsten [2005-11-19 10:30:40 +0000 UTC]
Nice! It's a bit sad, and also awesome, but very nice...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
myvenomkiss [2005-11-16 16:42:15 +0000 UTC]
awww!!!! its so sad and cute and angsty and WONDERFUL!!!!!
im so jealous, but in the good kind of way
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SuburbianTrash [2005-11-15 16:13:38 +0000 UTC]
I like this piece. It captures the sentience of teenage angst and the atmosphere of high school without being pretentious. Bravo!
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BrokenBlackWings [2005-11-14 15:18:08 +0000 UTC]
Nice write.
youre such an excelent writer.
-Faeirie
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LemBlack [2005-11-14 14:38:24 +0000 UTC]
This is none expecting end but it's a a too real end for too many person...Too many friend.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Femelle-Malkavian [2005-11-14 08:00:05 +0000 UTC]
That is a really good story. I like how you put the point of veiw and speech flow together, it matched perfectly. Really sad, but an over all excellent story.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LostDot [2005-11-14 01:20:20 +0000 UTC]
Wow, that's really sad and.. inspiring. o___o;
+fav.
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jinnwoo [2005-11-13 23:28:11 +0000 UTC]
i really like the build up it was very steady and then hit u heavy at the end - gave me shivers and dizzy thoughts. >.< u r a beautiful writer
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Cu-Ifrinn [2005-11-13 19:22:01 +0000 UTC]
This is just totally awsome! I mean it! Usually endings like that are totally obvious (I should know I write them) but BAM! I wasn't expecting that. I love the way all the focus is on "Jeff" (although if I were to take a random guess....) and the suspence rocks! I'm so jelous of your talent hun!
<3 Amy
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
poetichick [2005-11-13 18:32:13 +0000 UTC]
Amazing. I didn't see where it was going at all. The end almost blindsided me. For a moment I thought that it was about September 11th and that it was an older piece that you hadn't released yet. Bravo my friend, excellent work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
1stfallen [2005-11-13 17:49:05 +0000 UTC]
i don't think i've read something that moving in a long time .
it reminds me of a poem i read once, the poem was about a girl who died in an accident and she was watching the docter telling her parents that she was dead.
this is a beautiful and sad peice of writing. xx
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
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