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Published: 2008-04-08 08:27:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 516; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description
A small glistening ballI used to watch it bounce
I’d catch it in my hands
“It’s mine!” I’d announce
Do you remember that ball?
That we all once shared
The emotions it carried
Fear, hate and care
All day and night
Up and down it would go
Though what it was
We’d never truly know
Do you miss that ball?
That you watched each day?
That spherical orb
Forcefully taken away?
Do you think about it?
Do you reminisce often?
In a world of nostalgia
Where pain is softened
I wonder where it went
Why it disappeared
And why I was in this world
Dominated by fear
That bouncing ball,
That safety blanket,
That guardian angel
I never thanked it
I never knew
What it did for me
But now I realise
It was protecting me
No, not just me
It protected us all
Do you see why?
Why I miss that ball?
Now I’m exposed
To this disease
The illness that is
Modern society
This viral disorder
Relentless infection
It pulls us apart
Inhumane dissection
That ball must be found
For you and I alike
If we are to continue
Sustain future life
The blaring gunfire
The superficial trends
The “do this, do that”
It never ends
For now though
It must seem okay
But we must think
Past the present day
Think of future years
Despite our absence
The world will remain
It doesn’t make sense
The ball is missed
By the government too
One must remember
They once were you
Perhaps once we find
Our lost ball
We can be shielded
Saved from the fall
The fall of man
A baron land
If only we’d held
That ball in our hand
Do you miss it too?
Do you see why?
That ball must be found
For you and I
Perhaps it’s been found
By a general passerby
Who angrily trod on it
Not knowing why
Perhaps its lost
Forever in a void
Never to be retrieved
Gone, destroyed
Persevere we must
No matter what
We must find our ball
Whatever the cost
If it isn’t found
I don’t care to think
How close we can get
To hell’s brink
We’re too close now
We must step back
Make some reforms
Those that we lack
But oh, how scarce
For mankind to care
So I’ve abandoned them
Together we can share
It’s not my fault
The ball was taken away
But I found it again
So again I play
I know I’ll see you
All again once more
But until that time
I have my ball
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Comments: 4
mamadoll [2008-04-23 23:14:25 +0000 UTC]
I think you have some real potential! I'd really like to see some punctuation beyond '?' though. Direct the reader in where to mentally brake, and breathe. You are right about the meter being a little off in some parts, but overall, not too bad!
I think I might suggest this as a workshop poem for #PoetryPlease if you like. Would you like some in depth critique?
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a-proper-name In reply to mamadoll [2008-04-24 23:15:13 +0000 UTC]
Ermmm
Sure
lol
I love to write poetry, it's just a hobby of mine.
My true passion is Mathematics, but if you can get me some better feedback, I'd be very appreciative.
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specialben [2008-04-08 14:00:06 +0000 UTC]
Glad I inspired you I really like this, how you have the ball as repetition throughout & how it can mean so many different things but to me it sorta means hope
The flow & rhythm of the poem was really great as well :-D
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a-proper-name In reply to specialben [2008-04-08 20:42:01 +0000 UTC]
Aweee, thank you
I'm glad you liked it. It took a while to get the rhythm right, though there are one or two stanzas wherein the rhythm isn't quite right.
What you gonna do now? lol
Thanks again
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