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Aerode β€” we are reckless just for fun
Published: 2016-01-18 02:53:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 17503; Favourites: 65; Downloads: 0
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last night i'd seen you burned out
for the last time, but the sheets
were fire on bare skin. you came
inside the night,
grinding the universe to sudden
simplicity.

this dream wavers when i'm awake.
i can't bear to write of
how hollow we were when you
actually gave a damn, but
it is cool from here.

so let me count the ways you
drove me mad;
these times are wild and iridescent
and ruthless all at once.
take me, mercy, just for a while
and find new roads to the hills.

this yellow wallpaper, like me, is peeling.
but i am immortal, like tar usurping
the streams near the midsummer field.
i find that your limbs are pale
inside the light,
and you grip and groan to sweet nothings
and the pretense of being clean.

words don't exist when i'm asleep.
there's comfort to be found in shared
vertigo, and the irony of the moon
in sunrise. for months, we played
that game, and for months my
ribs were sore.

these sheets are tangled with my reckless
screams,
but i am adrift, alone, in a sea of serendipity.
among your machine gun messages
there is a void, and you warned me a bit
too late. a pity, because we were
still sane in the best ways.

i walk home alone when it's dark,
and my farewell will undoubtedly be
misplaced.
there will be no prayer tonight.



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Comments: 32

BlondeBombshells [2022-01-12 21:04:40 +0000 UTC]

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Kiannarenea [2021-11-23 19:45:33 +0000 UTC]

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AyeAye12 [2016-03-18 19:02:13 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant to see you get another DD. It's beautiful and accomplished and makes my heart sink in unspeakable ways.Β 
Hope you're doing well. <<3

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Aerode In reply to AyeAye12 [2016-03-20 00:59:11 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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JenFruzz [2016-02-26 01:44:55 +0000 UTC]

This was a great read, thanks for sharing and congrats on the DD!

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Aerode In reply to JenFruzz [2016-02-26 19:01:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for taking the time to read!

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Rasgonras [2016-02-25 23:21:50 +0000 UTC]

The lack of grammar, rhythm and rhyme really makes me doubt that this is a poem.How did this get on the frontpage?

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brennennn In reply to Rasgonras [2016-02-26 01:59:54 +0000 UTC]

Hi.Β Β While we definitely encourage people to leave comments on the works we choose to feature, please keep in mind that I am the one who chose to select this piece for a Daily Deviation. I welcome you to send me a note if you ever have a question about why I featured something rather than leaving the question on the artist's piece.

This FAQ can help you:Β FAQ #873: What do I do when I disapprove of a Daily Deviation feature?

Thank you,
Brennen

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Rasgonras In reply to brennennn [2016-02-28 21:05:20 +0000 UTC]

I. So, only positivity is allowed on comments on daily deviations?

II. Thanks for the invitation, but I think a discussion is more fruitful when held in public.

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brennennn In reply to Rasgonras [2016-02-28 21:56:38 +0000 UTC]

Constructive criticism rather than a rhetorical question about the reasoning behind why this piece was featured would have been received quite differently than my initial response.

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Aerode In reply to Rasgonras [2016-02-25 23:33:24 +0000 UTC]

Hey there! Thanks for taking the time to comment, and I hope I'll be able to help you out.

This is free verse, an open form of poetry that does not use rhyme, rhythm, or meter consistently. You can read more about it here. As for the grammar, I've reread the piece and I am relatively certain that this poem does not have any glaring faults. Could you please point out this "lack of grammar"?

As for how it got on the front page, I believe brennenxr may be able to tell you more about why he chose to feature it than I can.

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Rasgonras In reply to Aerode [2016-02-28 21:11:25 +0000 UTC]

For the grammar, I see a glaring lack of capitalization.

I found it difficult to understand what you were conveying in the piece. Maybe creatively working with a consistent rhyme, rhythm and meter would have yielded a better result rather than a confusing collection of words.

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Aerode In reply to Rasgonras [2016-02-28 22:38:40 +0000 UTC]

Capitalization falls under the domain of orthography , the mechanics of writing a language, rather than grammar. Grammar is the structure of the sentence. Regardless, I highly doubt that a lack of capitalization hindered your or anyone's ability to understand the semantics behind this poem.

Famous poet E. E. Cummings was known for his lack of capitalization and inventive use of syntax and grammar.

Your being unable to understand the meaning of the poem is likely my fault, being the author. However, I disagree with your assumption that utilizing rhyme, rhythm, and/or meter would result in a clearer poem. The choice to not adhere to the conventional guidelines established by prose writing is, in a sense, what makes poetry different. I realize fixed form poetry may be easier for others to comprehend or contain better flow, but this is not my writing style. So while I respect your judgment, I am inclined to heavily disagree with them.

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LiliWrites In reply to Aerode [2016-02-26 01:09:16 +0000 UTC]

Way to be a boss.

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Aerode In reply to LiliWrites [2016-02-26 19:01:42 +0000 UTC]

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LindArtz [2016-02-25 22:38:31 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on your much deserved DD!

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Aerode In reply to LindArtz [2016-02-25 23:35:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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DanksForTheMemeries [2016-02-25 22:36:43 +0000 UTC]

A very well-deserved daily deviation! Beautiful

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Aerode In reply to DanksForTheMemeries [2016-02-25 23:35:11 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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DanksForTheMemeries In reply to Aerode [2016-02-27 15:05:15 +0000 UTC]

No problem Β 

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o0w0o [2016-02-25 14:21:02 +0000 UTC]

Grats on the DD

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Aerode In reply to o0w0o [2016-02-25 20:42:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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o0w0o In reply to Aerode [2016-02-25 21:22:51 +0000 UTC]

np

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Lintu47 [2016-02-25 12:32:44 +0000 UTC]

Congrats on the DD!
Have a nice day!

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Aerode In reply to Lintu47 [2016-02-25 20:42:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

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Lintu47 In reply to Aerode [2016-03-06 07:59:15 +0000 UTC]

Β 

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Phoneix14 [2016-01-19 16:47:12 +0000 UTC]

I think i got goosebumps.. wow.. Β this is brilliant...

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Aerode In reply to Phoneix14 [2016-01-20 23:33:49 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much.

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makaihana975 [2016-01-18 09:26:58 +0000 UTC]

This is how I feel in the recent days. Faving this poem to death won't do it justice, so can I start throwing llamas at it?

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Aerode In reply to makaihana975 [2016-01-18 20:30:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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Gingersanps [2016-01-18 05:09:49 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow. This was powerful. I had gotten immersed in it at one point. Then my sister jolted me out of it.Β 

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Aerode In reply to Gingersanps [2016-01-18 20:30:34 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

And don't we all just love sisters?

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