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AK-Is-Harmless β Automated Teller Cyborg
#comedy #darkhumor #darkhumour #funny #benandwinslow
Published: 2012-04-10 00:51:33 +0000 UTC; Views: 2873; Favourites: 60; Downloads: 25
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Description
The Automated Teller Cyborg (ATC) combines the convenience of an ATM with the customer support capabilities and friendly demeanor of the average underpaid bank teller. Money is easily accessible by swiping a valid bank card and pressing a few buttons. ATCs are also completely mobile, cheap to maintain (they like hamburgers), and capable of defending themselves from would-be robbers. They are the perfect blend of man and machine.Until, of course, something goes terribly wrong.
Reblog on Tumblr here: ak-is-harmless.tumblr.com/postβ¦
This first appeared on Defenestration www.defenestrationmag.net on Friday, April 6th.
Become a fan of Ben & Winslow on Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Ben-Winβ¦
---AK
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Comments: 35
It's everywhere!
---AK
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Ewww, the wrong kind of withdrawal. 
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So very, very wrong.
---AK
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Worst. Malfunction. Ever. Luckily I think you can get your money's worth from certain people with those organs
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Probably.
---AK
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Oh, pshh, he'll be fine, it's just a flesh wound...
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An internal flesh wound.
---AK
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This is what must happen when you confuse your organ donor card with your bankcard.
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That's probably exactly what happened.
---AK
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Uhm, ya think? I wonder how the deposit system works.
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Modified throat.
---AK
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Terribly wrong...or terribly right if Winslow is involved, I imagine.
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I don't know. Even WINSLOW has problems with this one.
---AK
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When Winslow thinks something is terribly wrong, it has to be.
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It becomes triply wrong at that point.
---AK
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"...good thing that human organs are now legal tender in the future."
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Oh man, banking has never smelled this gross before!
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I'm sure it has somewhere.
---AK
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Just shove 'em back in. I'm sure it will be fine.
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We can only hope.
---AK
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A butcher might pay for that. And where would the money be placed when the cyborg needs refilled?
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Oh, there are ample chest cavities for that, sealed off from the biological tissue.
---AK
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How would you get it into those cavities? Three pipes in the throat: windpipe, gullet, and monetary pipe?
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Well, he's extra large, so it's possible.
---AK
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He had a lot of guts.
Speaking of ATM weirdness, I saw an article in which someone went to an ATM and a snake crawled out. They don't know how the snake got there.
Can imagine banks who don't want people going to the ATM too many times.
5th Spurious withdrawal- Warning- Garter snake
10th Boa Constrictor
15th Rattlesnake
20th King cobra
20+ Black Mamba - very aggressive, will chase people.
Anti venom kits behind the friendly teller, better hope the line is short.
Looks great.
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Thanks. And good idea.
---AK
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Mess with the wrong snake and you will be hisstory!
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You know, until Winslow gets a hold of one.
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Probably.
---AK
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