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Published: 2008-08-04 07:57:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 198; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Description
how very short a moment can grow,whilst adorned with
jewels of the
headiest caliber,
pearls to match
any banquet,
an escort for every
bouquet of flowers,
the nine days' queen
paints her face grey.
so they whisper,
"if she reigned"
mistress, she was
merely a child,
unfit for rule
and consequence told.
between justice
and mercy,
error sans trail,
the man lifted his axe
and the queen's head
rolled.
as the nine days' queen
paints her face grey,
only to have it
pitched away.
Comments: 5
ScribbledNotes [2008-08-06 02:18:18 +0000 UTC]
It's a cool idea (read up on the link) but the fifth stanza seem a bit weird to read in places.
mistress, she was
merely a child,
unfit for rule
and consequence told.
But mostly of all, it's a summary, not really delving into any fiction play or explorative emotional displays. This probably would have had a greater impact had those things been employed. Though, still, as far as the language goes, it works.
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amaranthineries In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-09-03 05:37:58 +0000 UTC]
I have to admit, this was completely an experimental poem turned filler poem. Kind of fun to write, but definitely not fun to re-read a month later.
Thanks for the honesty, though. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to amaranthineries [2008-09-03 07:36:31 +0000 UTC]
Been there, done that... and KEEP on doing that! Ha! Yeah, I def. know what you mean.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
amaranthineries In reply to GhstsInSnow [2008-09-03 05:40:58 +0000 UTC]
^^ I love that part of history.
Thanks baby!
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