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Description
This is important, I don't know why.
Just that, my dad, he leaves the window open in my room sometimes, and I don't notice until I wake up shivering in the middle of the night and I need to shift my way to it, half-asleep and naked from the waist up, to close it.
And sometimes when I'm really tired (because it takes a while, you know, to...to get back asleep)
but only when I'm really, quite exhausted,
I close my eyes and I'm instantaneously transported to a place of...

nothing.

It's difficult to describe.
Just that
just that this is important, wherever this is.
Wherever I go.

And another thing is
the skin, the lovely skin, I don't know why but I can't stop touching myself. Not like, in a dirty way, but all over, and all I can think, over and over again, is wow.
Wow, I'm really, really here, aren't I?
And then my hand hits cloth, and it all dies.

And the--the itching,
the pain, and everything about being human, a lot of people can't stand it but it's one of the most natural sensations in the world, to me, almost a second nature, this irritation and hurting.

I get lazy and tired and dreamy sometimes and I just imagine letting myself free of all of this, all of these things that have kept me straight. The path to...success? Success through completion of x amount of assignments, tasks, requirements?

This, this part is really important.
Because sometimes
I sit on my bed with calculations and pencils and pages spread all around me,
and I can feel my soul shaking
wailing
inside of me.

Description
This is important, I don't know why.
Just that, my dad, he leaves the window open in my room sometimes, and I don't notice until I wake up shivering in the middle of the night and I need to shift my way to it, half-asleep and naked from the waist up, to close it.
And sometimes when I'm really tired (because it takes a while, you know, to...to get back asleep)
but only when I'm really, quite exhausted,
I close my eyes and I'm instantaneously transported to a place of...

nothing.

It's difficult to describe.
Just that
just that this is important, wherever this is.
Wherever I go.

And another thing is
the skin, the lovely skin, I don't know why but I can't stop touching myself. Not like, in a dirty way, but all over, and all I can think, over and over again, is wow.
Wow, I'm really, really here, aren't I?
And then my hand hits cloth, and it all dies.

And the--the itching,
the pain, and everything about being human, a lot of people can't stand it but it's one of the most natural sensations in the world, to me, almost a second nature, this irritation and hurting.

I get lazy and tired and dreamy sometimes and I just imagine letting myself free of all of this, all of these things that have kept me straight. The path to...success? Success through completion of x amount of assignments, tasks, requirements?

This, this part is really important.
Because sometimes
I sit on my bed with calculations and pencils and pages spread all around me,
and I can feel my soul shaking
wailing
inside of me.