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Ambris — WoC - Chapter 1 - 07 -WiP-
Published: 2011-12-06 03:25:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 2989; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 0
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Description
I wonder if anyone noticed the character hiding up above in the last few pages. I though I made it fairly obvious, but no one has said anything.But this, my friends, is the first page drawn in an extended hiatus. The characters are drawn better, methinks. I realized that the lack of detail in this cave is probably disappointing. I will attempt to remedy that in future pages. I just don't want to go back and fix anything right now--I know if I do that I'll end up obsessing over details and I'll slow progress on this to a stop. My focus right now is to just move forward with the story and start developing it.
Also, text bubbles are better.
DIALOGUE:
Shadowed character: Why are you here? We have nothing to steal.
Boy: I'm not stealing anything! I'm just looking for shelter from the rain--Honest!
Shadowed character: Then why are you out this far?
NOTE: This is just a conceptual sketch stage. None of this is polished work. In all likelihood, I will eventually redraw this from the beginning. But for now, any feedback on either the story or the art is GREATLY APPRECIATED.
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Comments: 11
Well, c'mon guys, don't nitpick. The fact that Sheya is even asking why Kyn's out that far kind of tells you....
I think you can realize what I'm getting at.
Keep up the good work, though I do agree with the Name thing.
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Hmm, any alternatives to their actual names that you can suggest?
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Oh, I didn't mean you have to change the name. Just don't put the new character names in the the dialogue box until they say it themselves?
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The "Then why are you out this far?" Doesn't make too much sense. You might want to be a little more detailed, like "What are you doing wandering in the forest?" or whatever fits your situation.
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Hmm, that's something to consider actually. Good point.
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Interesting, I assumed the character in the shadows was gonna be hostile. Methinks im gonna miss the hand drawn speech bubbles lol, but the text is easier to read on this page(tho i live with handwriting of that legibility so im okay with it).
Also it's probably not the best idea to reveal the unknown characters name in the off-page dialogue before it is revealed on the page (then again it is nice to know the name of the main character too).
Also random suggestion: in a comic the visuals are obviously a strong part of telling the story, but the character speech is an easy way to add emphasis to the scene, like "What business do you have here Stranger"
Just some ideas, always take my advice with a grain of salt. Im not an accomplished (or rookie for that matter) comic writer or artist or anything of the sort. Just a person with an interest.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!
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I was debating about the names for a while. . .but I don't really know what to put in place of their actual names. Any suggestions?
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The only suggestion i can make on that would be that it depends on the situation. If you are given no visual of the character speaking, it could be "unknown/ominous voice" or something along those lines. For this situation you could use something simple like "stranger" or leave it unlabeled and make it bold until the name is revealed.
Forgive me for being a bit cheesy but, its all just a game, be creative, throw out ideas and see what sticks. Especially since you have announced you are going to go back to make major revisions later. As long as you have fun
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Try writing the text in bold. I can barely read it. Actually, I've seen some people type the dialogue in the description. You could try that.
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Done. Also, made the whole thing bigger.
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Yay. Some people find that comics in general are difficult to read. This'll help a lot.
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