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Published: 2013-02-18 05:42:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 16854; Favourites: 263; Downloads: 43
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Sollux x Reader - Computer Troubles(A/N I had BCxButch help me with this...NO HATING PLEASE!!! Geez! Anyways for ahead of time sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. >.-----------------------------
ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering (chum handle) [__] at 2:00 AM
[EB] _____!!!!!!!!
[__] JOHN FRIGGIN EGBERT WHAT AT THE HELL!?!?! IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!!
[EB] yeeeeeeah I know
[__] THEN WHY ARE YOU GOD DAMN PESTERING ME???
[EB] calm ur tits _____!!!!!!!! you sound like Karkat
[__] John. You know I'm not a morning person.
[EB] yes i know........but it's impooooortaaaaaaant!!!!!!!!
[__] *sigh* Fine! What's this important that you have to pester me at 2 AM about?
[EB] oh just shut up about that
[EB] anyways if Dave pesters you DON'T ANSWER!!!!!!!!
[__] Huh? Why?
[EB] _____ you have been warned
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering (chum handle)[__] at 2:15 AM
"What the hell?" you asked yourself. Your name is ______ ______ and you are confused about what the hell your friend John Egbert just told you. 'Why can't I answer Dave?' you thought. In all honesty you were too tired to give one. All of the sudden you heard an all to familiar ping come from your laptop, or "husktop" as your troll friends call it. You looked at the screen. "Speak of the devil of irony." you said quietly.
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering (chum handle) [__] at 2:30 AM
[TG] _____ did egderp tell you not to talk me
[__] Yes. Why?
[TG] you are now screwed
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering (chum handle) [__] at 2:34 AM
[__] Dave. What the-
(chum handles's so crashed)
"THAT A$$HACK!!!" you yelled angrily. After about 20 minuets of a colorful string of curses all meant for Dave, you realized that John was right. You did sound like Karkat. Perfect. You are, believe it or not, good at fixing computers. So you decide to try to fix it. After two hours you gave up. "Damn Dave. What the hell did you do to my computer?" you asked to no one. You only knew one person who was better at fixing computers than you. name is Sollux Captor. He is also good at decoding and giving viruses. Which you bet Dave gave you a terrible virus. Oh well, you'll have to talk to Sollux about it, in the morning. Right now you were tired, so you closed your eyes and entered a random dream bubble.
*TIME SKIP WHILE GAMZEE RIDES GOATDAD OFF SCREEN TO GO FIND TAVROS*
You woke up at 10 AM, you didn't really care though. You walked to your bathroom so you can pee. Once you were done you went back to your room. You put on a shirt with a picture of Sburb on it, with a black pair on sweat pants. You went back to the bathroom to brush your hair. You grabbed your laptop and put it in its case, and set out for Sollux's hive. Of course he didn't know you were coming over. So you thought of it as a surprise visit so he can fix your computer. You grabbed your keys and left, locking the door when you got outside. "CRAP" you yelled. Of course you forgot something, why can't you ever remember? Today it was your cell phone. You ran back to your hive unlocking the door and running in. You ran up the stairs to your room to get your cell phone, which was sitting on your night stand.
You turned on the screen to check if you had any messages. (Heh. You turned it on /shot/) Walking out your door and locking it once again, you started to Sollux's hive. You checked your phone to see if you had a message. It turns out you did! Yay! You almost never got any text, and Dave always teased you for it. So suck it Strida'! You clicked the glowing "messaging" app on your phone. It turned out to be John. You tapped his name, and a text saying; _____ WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DAVE?!?!?!?! You tapped the reply button and wrote; Oh shut the hell up John! What the hell did Dick Face Dave do to my computer?!?!? You looked up to see where you were. You were in front of Sollux's hive. Awesome.
You walked up his driveway, and knocked on his door. "It'th open!!!" you took this a single to walk in. "Hey Sol!" you started the conversation. "What ith it that you need?" "Wow! Who said I wanted anything?" you pouted. "I did." he chuckled. "Although you are right, I'm not telling you anymore! Unless I get a proper hello!" Sollux pouted a little but he still said hello. "Tho what'th your problem?" Sollux asked. "Dave The Dick gave me a virus that I can't decode. So can you help me?!??!" You nearly hung him, and cut his balls of when he asked;
"Tho Dave gave my little _____ a viruth that thhe can't decode? What'th in it for me?"
"Sol. I will KILL you!" you yelled. "Whoa. Calm your titth! You thound like KK. Now I really don't want two help a female KK!" "OH COME ON!!!" you yelled. "Hey. It'th not my fault. Now ith it?" "I guess not..." "Thee thtill why-" you cut him off. You had a wee plan. "You thould help me becauthe I'm awethome!" you say while mocking his speech problem. "HEY!!! I CAN'T HELP MY THPEECH PROBLEMTH!!!" he yells at you. "I know you can't, but I'm not going to thtop! Well at leatht I'm not going to thtop untill you help me!" you argued back still mocking his speech problems. This went on for around an hour before Sollux finally gave in. "FINE! I'll help you!" "YAY!" you mentally threw a party in your head for making Sollux finally give in. "But only if..." Sollux started. Sollux pulled you onto his lap, and you let out a high pitched squeak. "Only if you get to be in my lap while I'm working!~" Sollux said. Clever. Very clever Mr.Captor. Two can play at this game.
"Fine. Don't care!~" you reply calmly, but just because you replied calmly didn't mean you were blushing like a mad man. In your case...mad woman. "I can thee your bluthh _____." Sollux stated. Damn. He won that round. That did not go as planned, OH WELL! 'I still have plan b and the rest of the 24 (not counting a and b) letters to go!' you thought. You shifted comfortably and handed Sollux your laptop. "Get to work captain lisp!" you giggled. "Aththhole!" he quickly came up with his combat. 'Well played...but I'm still better at the game!' "Pfft my grandma can do better than that!" you simply stated. "Ya' know. I don't have two do thith for you ____." he replied. "I'll start talking with a lisp again to annoy you." you stated, and the best part was it wasn't a threat. "FINE! I'll work on your damn husktop!" he finally once again gave in. Oh it was obvious that round two was all yours baby!
You were so bored, it was like 20 minuets and the best decoder troll to ever live STILL wasn't done! In all honesty you thought with all his skills he would have been done in the first 5 minuets. Nope. You were wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong!"Damn he put a good viruth on thith thing. Wath he planning thith or thomthing?" was the last thing you heard before drifting off into a dream land on Derse.
*TIME SKIP TO HOURS AND HOURS LATER*
You woke up around in hour later, still in Sollux's lap. It seems that he was also asleep. You looked over to your husktop to find that Sollux was done decoding that damn virus that Dave somehow gave you. You just leaned back onto Sollux's chest. A little bit later Sollux woke up to find you were up. "Thup thexy?" he asked. You giggled and replied; "Teen pregnancy rates!" "Alright _____ that wath awkward. Even for me." "Sorry couldn't help it!" you giggled. You guys stayed like that and made some dirty jokes for a while. "Oh by the way _____. I decoded that damn virouth that Dave gave you." "Yes I've noticed. By the way thanks for helping me." you said and kissed him on the check, as a 'thank you' gift. Sollux's grip on you only got tighter on you, as a tint of yellowish mustard color appeared across his face. "Oh!!!! I'm sorry if that was awkward!!!" you apologized.
"No it'th fine. It'th jutht that...I'm fluthed for you." he said sorta shyly. "Tho _____. Will you be my matethprit?" he asked. Your eyes widened a bit, and a dark shade of red crossed your face. "Of course I will Sollux!!! I'm....I'm flushed for you too!" you admitted. So now the cool, sexy hacker troll is your matesprit. This went from a crappy day to one of the best days you have ever had! In about 8 hours you got your laptop fixed, took a long as hell nap and got a matesprit. Sollux took your chin between his thumb and index finger, and tilted your head up so you were looking at him. He smirked before shoving his lips into yours. He licked your bottom lip as to ask for entrance, which you gladly gave him. It was about a two minuet long kiss before you needed air. Why oh why couldn't that kiss last forever?!?! Why oh why did you need air!??!?!
Sollux hugged you a bit tighter than he did before. "Fluthed for you." "You too Sol." you replied before putting your head back on his chest.
Little did either of you know that Nepeta was looking into the window. "Another ship as sailed!!!~" she squealed in excitement, running back to her hive to update her shipping wall.
Related content
Comments: 345
CraftyViolinist In reply to ??? [2016-01-26 04:11:44 +0000 UTC]
When the "s" Sound comes up make a "th" Sound instead.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Adrianna-Jacoby [2015-09-13 02:41:06 +0000 UTC]
Sollux wouldn't do SHIT for anyone who made fun of his lisp, he'd kick them the fuck out
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thegamingartist-869 [2015-07-29 14:49:27 +0000 UTC]
XD Captain Lisp, seriously that's another lisp name for Sollux. There's Lispy King, King of Lispville Lisp, Captain Lisp, ect. There's so many! This an awesome story btw and I like how Dave is Dave the Dick, that is fitting sometimes. Also, I get told I sound like KK alot because I yell fuck at my sister all the time. X3 I feel like a derp.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CraftyViolinist In reply to Thegamingartist-869 [2016-01-26 04:12:29 +0000 UTC]
Don'tcha mean an "Egderp"?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
XcookiesXvsXmuffins [2015-02-04 07:26:32 +0000 UTC]
"thup thexy?" killin me jeeves. killin me. Bangarang~
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LOLZALO [2014-12-01 03:51:53 +0000 UTC]
OMG NEPETA. DOES PRIVACY NOT EXIST FOR YOU?! I MEAN I KNOW YOU LIVED IN A CAVE BUT STILL!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
damnkittyb In reply to LOLZALO [2015-03-11 05:41:06 +0000 UTC]
nepeta the stalker.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m07fc4…
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SilvisMN [2014-11-14 05:14:59 +0000 UTC]
Little did they know that Dave was already planning to send the virus, but then Terezi, with her Seer of Mind powers, told him if he sent a really bad one, it would help Nepeta with a ship, and Terezi wouldn't owe her anymore (Dave & TZ are dating in this scenario). They then notified Nep of their plan and, well, you saw what happened.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
heir-of-time10 [2014-10-24 03:01:59 +0000 UTC]
OKAY IVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS STORY FOR FIVE MONTHS AND I LOOK UP THE MOST OBVIOUS TITLE NOW AND IM JUST LIKE-
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Bleeding-Butterflies [2014-09-22 18:59:20 +0000 UTC]
Can ii kiill Nepeta yet? Pleathe thay yeth!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
nebula-33 [2014-02-26 05:38:34 +0000 UTC]
Oh nep... one day I will be just luke her with my giant shipping wall...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
highpower10 [2014-02-24 00:07:10 +0000 UTC]
Hehe, I love that last part about Nepeta. That was really funny.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MochiFace [2014-01-30 13:39:12 +0000 UTC]
Ehehe~
(my dad`s name is david)
*enters the room singing*
[me]: 'd is for dave~'
[dad]: "Monkey?! WTF-"
[me]: 'd is also for dick'
[dad]:"Sarina get your ass back here now!"
[me]: 'nepeta is a stalker watching through the wind-'
[dad]: "SARINA FUCKING JADE!"
[me]: What! Dad can't you see I`m busy reading a fanfiction about a smexy ass troll who has an adorable lisp!? Now get out of my room! (goes on an hour long lecture about privacy and minding your own dear daughters business when she is alone and happy.)
[dad]: *slowly exits the room*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
munchkinpups In reply to MochiFace [2014-07-08 20:59:50 +0000 UTC]
Oh... mai...gog.... that is hilarious!!!! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MochiFace In reply to munchkinpups [2014-07-25 10:02:00 +0000 UTC]
IS IT?! REALLY!!! YYYAAAAYYYY!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SilvisMN In reply to MochiFace [2014-11-14 05:16:26 +0000 UTC]
*slightly scared but mostly amused laughter*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CindraOfTheLost [2014-01-19 22:47:01 +0000 UTC]
OMGILOVETHISSOMUCHFBJKZSDVVCBHDSVHUVFBUHJCSBJHVCVHJBFVBHJVFHCV BVDH BVDHBVDHBVD VDHBVDBHVDH VDB VBH VBCBVHDUBHDNVHDHVJNZJSTSEAYVFJSD776T7YFYGUVHNYNGYASGYNSGYNGYNGYNFGYNFYGNYNYGMNFYMYMFMl!!!!! *passes out*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NekoMinecrafter In reply to CindraOfTheLost [2015-03-31 18:20:55 +0000 UTC]
CALM THE F*CK DOWN MITUNA!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
otakufangirl5005 [2013-11-19 02:17:32 +0000 UTC]
NYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEHNYEH OMGIWANTOJUSTHUGYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Imzombiez [2013-11-14 02:07:27 +0000 UTC]
oh mi gosh, the ending made me laugh. <3
very amazing story! :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MapleKitty34 [2013-10-13 21:58:13 +0000 UTC]
That went exactly as planned. Nepeta, high five.
:33> *AC high-fives her furriend*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LeviathanTheGirl [2013-09-24 21:38:46 +0000 UTC]
window nepeta is watching you confess flushes....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
animelovein In reply to LeviathanTheGirl [2013-10-04 22:04:01 +0000 UTC]
NEW JOKE: window Nepeta!
Screw yo ceiling cat. We got window Nepeta.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
animelovein In reply to LeviathanTheGirl [2013-10-06 13:36:39 +0000 UTC]
This should be announced to the public.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Mr-Fandom-Kun [2013-09-13 01:29:30 +0000 UTC]
NEPETA!
D===>I will not stand for this nonsense
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
animelovein In reply to Mr-Fandom-Kun [2013-10-04 22:07:48 +0000 UTC]
Daw, gotta forgive her though!!!
:33 < awwww, but equius
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Mr-Fandom-Kun In reply to animelovein [2013-10-05 01:08:16 +0000 UTC]
I already did
D===>No Nepeta
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
HoodieSlenderverse [2013-08-15 21:57:12 +0000 UTC]
Nepeta. I love you being in the same zodiac but.... CAN YOU NOT STALK!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
animelovingfreak295 In reply to MoonlightEngel [2013-08-07 20:21:58 +0000 UTC]
*makes weird smiling face at you*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MoonlightEngel In reply to animelovingfreak295 [2013-08-07 20:24:51 +0000 UTC]
ooooooooooooooo I can see a beautiful face in the stars XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
animelovingfreak295 In reply to MoonlightEngel [2013-08-07 23:34:40 +0000 UTC]
*give you a confused look*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MoonlightEngel In reply to animelovingfreak295 [2013-08-08 00:27:14 +0000 UTC]
I dunno either. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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