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Anomalous-Blake — You'd Never Understand...
Published: 2011-07-23 07:52:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 1266; Favourites: 78; Downloads: 7
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vent vent vent ventSo a close friend of mine is really starting to get on my nerves. You know my many physical and mental disorders? Well, she doesn't seem to understand them. She wants me to go play kick ball with a bunch of people I don't know, and I tell her I don't want to. She asks why, and I tell her "I just can't" And she starts giving me all this crap about how I never do anything but sit around and that I don't get out enough. Another time I missed a couple of church activities (because of personal issues) and she calls and asks why I'm never there, and I tell her I wasn't feeling good and felt sick. She replies "you're ALWAYS sick! I bet you're faking!"
Uh...no! How can I fake having constant migraines and panic attacks due to the stress of being with so many people? Even the though of going to be with a bunch of people that I KNOW won't even talk to me makes my anxiety rise.
I try to talk to her about how much I can't stand being around so many people, and that my anxiety triggers migraines and a bunch of other crap, and she says, "well then stop worrying about it!" Yeah, um...how can I stop worrying about my number one fear? The whole reason I isolate myself from the world? She just doesn't get how horrifying it is for me to be around people. Even if I know them, if it's more than five, I flip out.
But yeah basically she's just been giving me a bunch of crap about everything I do, even though I can't control it. An athletic, rich, healthy, smart person like her can never understand what it's like to be a girl with asthma, back leg and knee problems, anxiety, social anxiety, depression, and a whole bunch more.
...I just can't see why she doesn't notice the pain I'm constantly in. Despite how hard I try to be happy around my friends, everyone else seems to notice that I'm in pain, but not her. She decides to chuck things at me and "playfully punch me" super hard in the gut to "have fun" But no...it's not fun, it just hurts even more.
So this picture is directed towards her. I doubt she'll ever see this but it feels nice to get it off my chest.
And I used a Poochyena in the pick because she is possibly going to be my new pokesona.
...if anyone read all that crap they get a hug. a BIG hug
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Comments: 112
I understand this. I really do. I have an intense fear of crowds and I have to leave my classes early so I don't panic. I don't have many friends left either.
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Yeah, some people can be really insensitive.
But we're hear for ya, Yosh
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I really understand you, I've got asthma too and people just don't understand that when I'm sporting or something similar, that my lungs sometimes just shrink and that just feels horrible :C but I'm glad that I can live with it but other people just keep saying that I should get over it. I really don't talk a lot and I never tell it to other people when I'm hurt or just feel sick. But for some reason my family and friends don't seem to understand it. They always act like my brother is more important then me, I'm fine with that because I don't like to much attention anyway and my brother has PDD nos, everybody is fine with that, but they always act like he's really innocent and can't help anything. They blame me for a lot of things, but when I ask them why they threat him differently, they become mad at me and scream at me. So I just don't get it, I'm fine with the fact that they might love my brother more but I hate the fact that they try to hide it .
Sorry for my horrible English, I hope you can still read afterwards XD
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man that must really suck. I'm sorry about that. I understand how that must feel though.
don't worry, I could read it okay xD
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well, I feel sorry for you though ..
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thanks...I feel sorry for you too
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Dude. I totally understand you. I read the entire thing and I know EXACTLY how it feels when they just won't listen. I don't like to talk a whole lot, and even when I am in the mood for talking, I don't talk loud enough. This apparently drives the people around me nuts. They keep on complaining and telling me to talk louder, but I just can't. I also hate the feeling of not being wanted. Whenever I walk in the room and somebody frowns or something, I immediately start to feel awful about myself.
I really dislike it whenever someone asks me to do something, but doesn't give me ANY advice on how they want it done, I end up doing it wrong, they get mad at me, and I feel like a total noob for the rest of the day >:I
And I do prefer being alone most of the time, and I can't stand it when people come when I totally do not want company.
I feel better now.
and yes I did read the entire thing
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good to know there's someone else in the same boat as me. that must really suck!
you get a hug
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I know just how you feel.... But I guess people like that are blind to things that don't apply to them. That if it doesn't happen to them, then that applies to everyone else. I wish people like that could just walk in someone elses shoes for a day...
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Very welcome my friend...
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I wanted to hug her anyways.
Sad story, I'm sorry that some people don't understand.
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Yeah...I have Aspergers Syndrome...so I, in a way, feel you.
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mental disorders really suck
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I don't really mind.
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Thats just.. Wow.. I dont understand how some people can be that blind..
Im sorry for all of that and i really hope that someday she'll open up her eyes and notice how much pain ur in. Sorry but.. Yeah
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Yvw, and u get a HUGE hug from meh O^O
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Augh.
This describes so perfectly how I feel...
Sure my problems aren't the same, but I can still relate very much.
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I get a hug...
I read it all and the picture is how I feel all the time as well :c You so aren't alone. My anxiety doesn't come from other people, it comes from what other people talk about, and think about. I get alot of the things you get (not migrans) but questions as to why I won't do something .. 'because I just Can't..' Everything is so terrifying.. but then they tell me 'don't worry about it' or 'just relax and forget about it' They don't know that I jus can't do that..
dont worry, I have the same kind of friend =_= not as bad, like.. shes amazing and all but... she doesn't understand what I go through. doesn't understand what I feel. ugh.. Rant rant rant to you c: I'm sorry..
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well at least we're in sort of the same situation c:
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aye! Were siblings in this c:> We can survive... kindof ... together!
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I read it all, I know a friend who is like that too. She is going through it all aswell and is working hard to be social but it is just too hard and I understand that. The only non-social thing about me and I'm shy. I have fears too and I think I have depression but I can't find out at this time, I am afraid of small things, darkness to a certain extent, being alone, the future, yeah small things. As for my friend a few things is that she can't stand many people, loud noises, and he gets all angry all the time too. Moods swings are fun. not really. I am there for her and I wish your friend would be there to understand you and be there for you. You don't need to hang out in a big crowd to have fun. If you like reading then read with one or 2 people, if you like drawing do some random drawings with 2 people or as many as you can. Listen to music, do what you feel comfortable doing and just make the best out of it. It's not your fault, there are things no one can control, just know that just because one person one so called friend doesn't understand doesn't mean others don't. Hang in there, hold strong, do what you can and want, take it easy, enjoy the small things in life and the big things that you can do and someday be able to handle will be just as great as it would have been if you did them right now.
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thanks for the comfort, I'll do the best I can
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*huggles back*
Welcome and the best is all we can ever do^^
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Like you i have been through situations like this before with people i thought were friends... I have anxiety and panic problems as well as other things with my personality like BPD, and no matter how you try to explain it to some then never get it.. my only wish for them kinda people, is i hope that one day they have to deal with it and they finally understand how much one is hurting.. i have been getting better with mine, and i hope you do as well.
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good to know there's someone who knows how I feel
thanks, I'll do what I can to get better
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You welcome, and again i hope you able to get better with it.
it never easy thing to deal with.
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Ouh yeah, that really can be extremely annoying.
Anyway, dear, you ever got diagnosed? Cause what you describe about yourself strongly appears to me like a so called "Panic Disorder with Agorahpobia". I got to know some people suffering this who came to me and asked me what to do, because I have a panic disorder, too. Atm I work at a clinic for behavioral therapy that is dealing with those problems. If you are searching for help (I dunno if you do, cuz not everyone wants to, and that'd be okay) I can warmly recommend you that you maybe inform yourself about behavioral therapy and exposure therapy. It may sound really hard and it certainly IS hard for every single patient to go through such a therapy, horribly hard, but it really is the best cure for it that I know.
And btw it doesn't take as long as psychoanalysis does ;]
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yeah
I've actually been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder, but not agoraphobia. and I am currently in therapy and it's been helping a little, but the fact that my friend gives me so much trouble is making things worse...so I try to avoid her but I don't want to be rude
I'll see what I can do...thank you so much for your help
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no.1 rule in cognitive-behavioral therapy is: try not to avoid, avoiding helps the bad feelings to stay and get worse.
if she doesn't really listen to you when you start explaining yourself, maybe you should write her a letter. That way she can't interrupt you and has to deal with it more intensely.
you're welcome<3
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okay...I'll do my best
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uhmmm maybe how about showing your pain???
even if it's faked, it works
but it's better if you talk to her from the bottom of your heart, so real sorrow will come out of your face expression
physical language works
Whenever I talk about something that hurts, my voice fades out
until the moment I'm just moving my mouth and throwing air
sometimes that's the only way people with "perfect lifes", or actually, with no issues such as yours will at least understand a little how you really feel.
And about that "Nothing is wrong with you"
There HAS to be something wrong with her... maybe she talks about it with other people, or prefers to move on alone.
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I do. I get to the point where I'm almost crying when I try to talk to her. When I'm around too many people, I stay as far away as possible and try to let her know how terrified I am. But she still doesn't get it.
well obviously I know that. I'm just really angry and it seems as though she's perfect. She's super athletic, social, smart, and her parents give her everything she could ever want. So when you compare her with me, it seems as though nothing's wrong with her.
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there's an important life lesson I heard once
Do not ever compare to others
everyone is unique and special in its own way
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whoo! I gets a hug!
that said, I DO understand, my step-mom has a similar list of maladies, and she's also got this one thing where she breaks out in open sores if she's in sunlight for more than a few minutes. I also understand the 'I'm happy, why can't YOU be happy too!?' problem. A lot of people simply aren't able to understand that each person is different. I give unto you my condolences, and an offer to beat her with a drunken haddock.
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yes...yes you do
I'm glad you do...thanks for you comfort
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yw!
I'm glad if I could help, even a little.
Have a good, crowd-free day!
And the thing about the haddock is still open.
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