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archelyxs — Heartmind
Published: 2012-04-24 20:23:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 6716; Favourites: 204; Downloads: 520
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Description We lost electricity on the night you left me
and I spent the night curled up against the rain,
drinking in the slack of damp green winds
in our treasured driftwood home of mist.
I had to come to think of time
as a medium and my thoughts as
imperfect and cursive. It was a wrinkled medium,
a mediocrity of sunken breath: words condensing
into droplets that so contorted my teary lenses
that I couldn't tell that you were turning towards me

with a sound, the sound a book makes
when its leaves are rustled against the grain.
Tonight my body lingers on the edge of the ocean
like a gasp; New Jersey's throaty highways
bear my rosefelt thoughts and I can't miss them
like I miss the cradle of the river,
like I miss the firm grip of the circular,
like I miss the existential faith we had in nature
and her artistic lover to take us home.
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Comments: 86

archelyxs In reply to ??? [2013-07-17 07:07:51 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. Critique away, be my guest!! This is one of those extremely rare poems that just poured out of me after class one day... god I miss this. The first lines need to be there to establish the rhythm and I really can't imagine this poem working without them -- I mean, this poem is an experiment in rhythm that happened organically and so I left it -- the first four lines have a lazy stressed-unstressed thing going on, the middle section is basically prose with line breaks, and the last four lines with the anaphoric repetition? I don't really see any other explanation for why it's enjoyable (and I think it is - I never get tired of reading this one); the first image in the second stanza is a keeper but the rest is a bit cliche and dispensible, I think? Not that I would change it. I don't think I can change anything about this poem anymore, haha.

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v-espertine [2013-02-25 01:19:45 +0000 UTC]

this is fucking beautiful you know <3

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archelyxs In reply to v-espertine [2013-02-25 01:25:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!!

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tetrarchangel [2012-06-07 15:45:31 +0000 UTC]

Three DDs? Man have I got some catching up to do. Well done indeed.

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archelyxs In reply to tetrarchangel [2012-06-10 18:34:56 +0000 UTC]

Haha thanks!

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anapests-and-ink [2012-05-26 16:08:55 +0000 UTC]

You have a way of writing things so deep and beautiful that I can't form the words to express how they make me feel.

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archelyxs In reply to anapests-and-ink [2012-05-28 02:50:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh, you.

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brittlejacks [2012-05-20 05:06:35 +0000 UTC]

...New Jersey's throaty highways
bear my rosefelt thoughts and I can't miss them

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archelyxs In reply to brittlejacks [2012-05-24 05:16:49 +0000 UTC]

Ahh

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ScenicViewer022511 [2012-05-14 03:46:56 +0000 UTC]

I love the last five lines...they wrap it up perfectly

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archelyxs In reply to ScenicViewer022511 [2012-05-14 18:22:54 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! (that's my favorite part too!)

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HaveTales-WillTell [2012-05-13 01:06:37 +0000 UTC]

Time is a medium, yes: but it weakens as it recedes, stealing memory and sapping emotions away. Only sometimes, it does the exact opposite.

Congratulations on a heartfelt and well-deserved DD. (And, speaking as a native Lawn Guylander: thank gawd you're not Snooki! )

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archelyxs In reply to HaveTales-WillTell [2012-05-13 02:13:09 +0000 UTC]

So beautiful. Thank you so much!!

And yes, I'm the worst person ever because I'm from LI and NJ. I lived in Suffolk County until I was 12.

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HaveTales-WillTell In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-13 03:16:14 +0000 UTC]

That is a double whammy.

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JStavridis [2012-05-11 00:52:07 +0000 UTC]

Standout work. Congratulations on the DD, Miss.

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archelyxs In reply to JStavridis [2012-05-12 16:58:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

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MeritCoba [2012-05-10 07:08:36 +0000 UTC]

Loved this lines... so poetic....

I spent the night curled up against the rain,

Tonight my body lingers on the edge of the ocean

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archelyxs In reply to MeritCoba [2012-05-12 16:58:15 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thanks so much!

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JadenPerhaps [2012-05-10 06:20:32 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful!

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archelyxs In reply to JadenPerhaps [2012-05-12 16:58:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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JadenPerhaps In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-12 20:13:20 +0000 UTC]

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GrimmAssassin [2012-05-10 03:51:53 +0000 UTC]

An interesting pattern, as well as an overall enthralling read. This is a great piece of literature! Keep up the good work :3

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archelyxs In reply to GrimmAssassin [2012-05-10 04:34:24 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thank you so much!

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lundycorey [2012-05-10 01:39:30 +0000 UTC]

btw whats dd mean haha

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archelyxs In reply to lundycorey [2012-05-10 02:23:15 +0000 UTC]

Haha it stands for Daily Deviation!

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lundycorey [2012-05-10 01:38:36 +0000 UTC]

haha i love it totaly adding to my favs haha

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archelyxs In reply to lundycorey [2012-05-10 02:24:41 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thank you so much!

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sowrenee1 [2012-05-10 01:09:49 +0000 UTC]

Flagged as Spam

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archelyxs In reply to sowrenee1 [2012-05-10 02:25:34 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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LadyofGaerdon [2012-05-10 00:45:37 +0000 UTC]

Lovely. Congrats on your DD!

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archelyxs In reply to LadyofGaerdon [2012-05-10 02:25:49 +0000 UTC]

Aw, thank so much, love!

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LadyofGaerdon In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-10 04:34:30 +0000 UTC]

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Lit-Twitter [2012-05-10 00:22:57 +0000 UTC]

Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered.

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archelyxs In reply to Lit-Twitter [2012-05-10 02:25:58 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thank you!

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RavensHiddenSoul [2012-05-10 00:19:58 +0000 UTC]

Such imagery~ I can just feel myself getting lost in this emotional picture you've painted, but it's as perfectly open to interpretation as poetry should be.

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archelyxs In reply to RavensHiddenSoul [2012-05-10 00:21:12 +0000 UTC]

You and these comments- I can barely keep up! Thank you very much!

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RavensHiddenSoul In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-13 23:18:34 +0000 UTC]

You're so welcome. /^w^\ Just speaking my mind~

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waffles301 [2012-05-09 20:40:37 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful! Congratulations!

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archelyxs In reply to waffles301 [2012-05-09 23:24:53 +0000 UTC]

Ah, thanks!

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PursuingTheCerberus [2012-05-09 19:13:38 +0000 UTC]

the imagery paints pictures that steal my breath. This is what I love about poetry. Funny to see my home state of NJ mentioned Congrats again on the DD

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archelyxs In reply to PursuingTheCerberus [2012-05-09 23:25:43 +0000 UTC]

Hell yeah Jersey! Which town?

I feel like I'm always trying to convince people that Jersey doesn't suck. Here people. Here's a poem about Jersey.

Thanks so much!

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PursuingTheCerberus In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-09 23:29:03 +0000 UTC]

I live in Hawthorne, NJ...in Passaic County.

I too always defend Jersey.

*throws index finger into the air* "We're not all fist pumping, gambino, trashmouth's 'round here! Some of us are poets..." lol

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archelyxs In reply to PursuingTheCerberus [2012-05-09 23:58:02 +0000 UTC]

Ah, that's far away. I live on the shore when I'm not at college. It's great. Always explaining to people that I'm not Snooki.

When people say that, I say [link]

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PursuingTheCerberus In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-10 00:04:49 +0000 UTC]

YES!!! Mr. Ginsberg!! Nice!

I go to Wildwood every summer for a week. And I've got a good friend and fellow poet in Brick

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archelyxs In reply to PursuingTheCerberus [2012-05-10 00:14:56 +0000 UTC]

Oh no way. I've only been to Wildwood once. It's pretty far away from where I am. And I've gotten lost in Brick, but I've never spent too much time there.

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PursuingTheCerberus In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-10 22:16:54 +0000 UTC]

Yeah it's three hours away from me, but we make the trip because the beaches are the cleanest and they are free.

Crazy that you're from NJ!!!

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archelyxs In reply to PursuingTheCerberus [2012-05-30 21:19:19 +0000 UTC]

Jersey is the best. I missed it lots and lots.

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PursuingTheCerberus In reply to archelyxs [2012-05-31 00:08:31 +0000 UTC]

ahh, so you've returned?

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archelyxs In reply to PursuingTheCerberus [2012-06-07 01:44:12 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I get to spend the next three months here. It was weird when I realised that in going home for the summer I was also going to the shore and it's awesome.

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PursuingTheCerberus In reply to archelyxs [2012-06-09 00:11:08 +0000 UTC]

nice! What are you studying in college?

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