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Description
Figuring out some life stuff. The character I'm with is Rita, one of my oldest and dearest ocs that i've finally given a design. I'll work on finishing her ref sheet later. She and Blaze were created at roughly the same time, which was back before I really understood what making characters and such even was.

And now I'm gonna vent a bit, so if you don't care you can stop reading here.

the TL;DR is that I feel really alone and unsure about my future and 99% of these feelings are direct results of choices that I made, so I'm also kinda disgusted with myself. On the one hand, i wish someone would hug me like in the drawing, but on the other hand, I'm actually really weird about people touching me, so idk if hugs would make things better or worse.

Ever since I was little I was that annoying "talented" and "smart" child that was good at art and didn't have to study for a test. By high school, I was bored out of my head and spent most of my time drawing for myself. I thought that I'd get my inspiration for existing back when I went to college.

Unfortunately, I set myself up for failure with that one. The college I went to offered a sort of integrative study program, where you can design your own major. It sounded really cool (and I'm sure it's great for those who know what they want to do/have the motivation to mold their own education) but as it turned out, the program was super unorganized, my roommate was insane and manipulative, and I felt like I was wasting time in classes where I wasn't learning anything. I'll readily admit that I'm not organized or disciplined enough to figure out my own college education without a program to follow or requirements to adhere to.

I wound up leaving the place and have been home ever since. I got into arpgs which, honestly, I really really wish that I had gotten into in high school when I had all the time in the world and more than enough motivation to draw. Oh well, though. I'm still glad that I got into these games since it gave me back some of the motivation to work that I'd been missing since middle school. For a while, I think I was actually happy.

Now things are getting down to the wire. I've been at home for a year and a half now and have done very little. At first it was fine; i needed time away from the mess that happened at college. But now, I really can't stay here. My family is a bit of a mess, I don't really have any friends in town, and I really have only one friend from highschool that i still talk to anyways. I've been stagnating both mentally and socially and I know that all of this has been self inflicted but now that I'm facing actual inevitable change, I'm gettign nervous. I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. i can't drive, my social skills are lacking at best, i have exactly one friend that i really consider a friend and my work ethic is still questionable (though maybe getting better). I know this is all really dumb and I'm kind of just whining about how I've been sitting on my ass for months and now i actually have to do shit but... idk.

Ok, I'm done whining. I need to study for a placement test and then start to think about writing a personal essay for an application. Owed art will be worked on between those.

Art and characters belong to Areetala

Description
Figuring out some life stuff. The character I'm with is Rita, one of my oldest and dearest ocs that i've finally given a design. I'll work on finishing her ref sheet later. She and Blaze were created at roughly the same time, which was back before I really understood what making characters and such even was.

And now I'm gonna vent a bit, so if you don't care you can stop reading here.

the TL;DR is that I feel really alone and unsure about my future and 99% of these feelings are direct results of choices that I made, so I'm also kinda disgusted with myself. On the one hand, i wish someone would hug me like in the drawing, but on the other hand, I'm actually really weird about people touching me, so idk if hugs would make things better or worse.

Ever since I was little I was that annoying "talented" and "smart" child that was good at art and didn't have to study for a test. By high school, I was bored out of my head and spent most of my time drawing for myself. I thought that I'd get my inspiration for existing back when I went to college.

Unfortunately, I set myself up for failure with that one. The college I went to offered a sort of integrative study program, where you can design your own major. It sounded really cool (and I'm sure it's great for those who know what they want to do/have the motivation to mold their own education) but as it turned out, the program was super unorganized, my roommate was insane and manipulative, and I felt like I was wasting time in classes where I wasn't learning anything. I'll readily admit that I'm not organized or disciplined enough to figure out my own college education without a program to follow or requirements to adhere to.

I wound up leaving the place and have been home ever since. I got into arpgs which, honestly, I really really wish that I had gotten into in high school when I had all the time in the world and more than enough motivation to draw. Oh well, though. I'm still glad that I got into these games since it gave me back some of the motivation to work that I'd been missing since middle school. For a while, I think I was actually happy.

Now things are getting down to the wire. I've been at home for a year and a half now and have done very little. At first it was fine; i needed time away from the mess that happened at college. But now, I really can't stay here. My family is a bit of a mess, I don't really have any friends in town, and I really have only one friend from highschool that i still talk to anyways. I've been stagnating both mentally and socially and I know that all of this has been self inflicted but now that I'm facing actual inevitable change, I'm gettign nervous. I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. i can't drive, my social skills are lacking at best, i have exactly one friend that i really consider a friend and my work ethic is still questionable (though maybe getting better). I know this is all really dumb and I'm kind of just whining about how I've been sitting on my ass for months and now i actually have to do shit but... idk.

Ok, I'm done whining. I need to study for a placement test and then start to think about writing a personal essay for an application. Owed art will be worked on between those.

Art and characters belong to Areetala