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Published: 2006-12-05 06:04:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 242; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 4
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Description
Stepping stones, stepping stones,One step at a time,
Feel my passion,
Hear my rhyme,
This knife so sharp, a deadly harp.
A silent melody. One slice of the wrist
To happy abyss. My last soliloquy.
Over or under, to heaven or hell,
The offer remains, my soul to sell.
If the deed I commit, Damned I may be,
To rot away, in purgatory.
To kill is to die, to die is to fade,
Into the midst of an afterlife charade,
An act it is, a secret play,
All hail the wonderful black parade.
The steps to take, the devil coerce,
To breathe upon me his blessed curse.
To walk with death, a chance to die
A wretched promise, broken ties.
This rhyme is through, its number up,
As if Satan himself drank from Christ’s holy cup
Pointless now to regret ones sins.
As I sink slowly deeper into dark oblivion.
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Comments: 13
Many-eyeshere [2006-12-22 11:31:06 +0000 UTC]
I love this, why do you think it's bad, I think it's highly original you use language so well it makes me breathless.
"To kill is to die, to die is to fade,
Into the midst of an afterlife charade,
An act it is, a secret play,
All hail the wonderful black parade."
I adore this stanza and this line imparticular is my favorite:
"As if Satan himself drank from Christ’s holy cup"
Such satire, irony and strange, disturbing truth.
You are an excellent poet and I believe this is now one of the most interesting and well written poems I have ever read.
Michelle
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Arethoes In reply to Many-eyeshere [2006-12-23 00:31:29 +0000 UTC]
Thank you I'm glad you found it so ...disturbing and strange.
Lol
Actually I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on this one.
Just when I wrote it, I thought it was entirely too emo for me...
But when I looked back over it I saw it was actually pretty good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Angels-Losing-Sleep [2006-12-05 07:00:00 +0000 UTC]
I don't know why you think it sucks. I thought it was really good. You did a great job on it; that's awesome that you're able to rhyme so well.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Arethoes In reply to AuthenticLogic [2006-12-05 06:15:44 +0000 UTC]
And yes, much thanks for the Fave.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Arethoes In reply to AuthenticLogic [2006-12-05 06:15:21 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, thank you.
I'm glad you liked it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0