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ArtNoobly — Colors of silence.

Published: 2013-12-01 05:39:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 476; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 0
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Description *Sigh...*


 

I think the holidays are getting to me; I'm not a fan of X-mas, and I was harassed into hanging up lights here at the cabin, which turned out to be a hilarious experience, but I still can't shake my dark feelings when it comes to the holidays. 


I think I'll always be like this during the holidays....I hate being mopey. 

 

 



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Comments: 8

kochmann799 [2013-12-11 12:22:02 +0000 UTC]

Looking at the comment exchange below me...and I thought I was sad. Relating to the artwork...its very pretty good job.

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ArtNoobly In reply to kochmann799 [2013-12-23 05:10:30 +0000 UTC]

Thanks love, and I think sadness is an important thing.


It reminds you that you have a heart. 

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Aura-Dawn [2013-12-02 05:13:08 +0000 UTC]

To be joyous at a holiday, there has to be a reason, which is usually someone special.  For me, there will never be a holiday again.  Like you, will be harassed into hanging lights and triming a tree in my own house, and am a Buddhist, so why?  Because my roommate bought one just to set up.  She won't be here on that day, so it has to be just to bug me.   Well not really, the season last for weeks.  So, guess am like you in being sad for there is no one to be happy with, Just memories.

Your picture displays your feelings quite well, and mine. 

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ArtNoobly In reply to Aura-Dawn [2013-12-04 21:15:50 +0000 UTC]

When I was little and heard the other children talking about Santa Clause, I asked a relative about him. 


Their response: " There is no Santa; only retarded children believe in Santa" 


My childhood in a nutshell. 


 

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Aura-Dawn In reply to ArtNoobly [2013-12-04 21:25:13 +0000 UTC]

But your parents were wrong, there is a Santa.  No he not live at north pole, he live in books, in someones heart.  Santa is not a religious belief but of someone who used to give free toys to children.  Santa was not his name, but that is what the story of him is based on.

What remember of my parents before they sold me was not very fond memories.  There was no holiday celebrations at my house, only pain, same as every other day.   So as said before, if there is no one in your life, holidays is just another day, but the though of a loved one can make it sadder.   And where lived after parents got rid of me was no better.  You worked to earn a place to sleep and the privilege to eat.  Age not not matter

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ArtNoobly In reply to Aura-Dawn [2013-12-07 09:07:44 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I defiantly believe he lives in our hearts, and I look back on my childhood in a "dark Edgar Allen Poe" sorta humor.


Moat people don't think my past was funny, but I do. 


I am the type of person who laughs when I'm in pain after all. 


I won't say something cheesy like "I'm sorry for your painful past" because you seem like a strong person now, and I hope your a happy one to. 


 

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Aura-Dawn In reply to ArtNoobly [2013-12-08 03:37:36 +0000 UTC]

The past is the past, today will become the past.  it's just a day, nothing more, nothing less.  You might laugh at pain, not me.  Oh crying, that is for babies.  Fighting back is my answer when someone or something causes pain.  Always have, always will.  If you can truly laugh at something that so long ago caused you pain, and it not a false laugh, more power to you.   For me, ignoring pain is so easy.  One day had jabbed a pencil repeatedly into my leg just to watch it bleed.  Never felt it.  So you might say, have been hardened to ignore it.

Happiness as well as sadness is nothing but a state of mind.

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ArtNoobly In reply to Aura-Dawn [2013-12-23 05:09:28 +0000 UTC]

Growing up for me was...interesting to say the least.


I never cried much as a child, because when I did my Mother would say; "Your're just doing that to make me feel bad!"


I didn't laugh much either, because to laugh meant I was happy, and happiness was taken away from me so many times that I thought I couldn't be hurt if I was never happy. Instead of being happy or sad; I became violent.  


I was an angry little girl, I was always itching for a fight. I would find the meanies boys to fight with, anything that would make all the emotions I couldn't express or know how to express. Then...I twisted a boys arm so hard I broke it.


After that I became a "mute" at my new school I was called the "Ice Queen" or "Mutey" The kids would do anything they could to get a reaction from me, the teachers tried to get me to connect to them or or the other children.


I honestly don't recall feeling much during middle school. I simple walked around with a cold blank gaze to greet the world and it's people.


When I entered High School I became the "friendly girl who always smiles" I talked to everyone, got along with everyone, but inside I felt like I was dying; till I finally snapped and tried to end everything, it was close. 


I use to think that being heartless meant made you strong. 


I look back and think I was lucky, things could have ended up so much differently for me. Maybe I'm warped, but I really do laugh at some of those things, I have always been one to laugh at pain, but I think I'm a lot more honest with myself and others. 


I'm just learning as I go along. 








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