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ash-interrupted — Mistake
Published: 2004-05-10 10:02:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 959; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 41
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Description
I never thoughtthat it could happen to me
Now I sit alone
in my own self pity
you said all along
that I would be sorry
but it's far too late now
I never meant
to make you so mad
never thought love
could hurt me so bad
wish we could get back
everything we had
but there's too much hate now
This world is too fucking grey
filled with too many fakes
I'm not the only one fading away
everybody makes mistakes
All this time
I've been too blind to see
I should've listened
when you tried to warn me
I just want out
I need to be free
but I don't know how
I feel like
I've been falling for years
I'm tired of running
away from my fears
I can't cry anymore
I'm out of tears
And this is home now
This world is too fucking grey
filled with too many fakes
I'm not the only one fading away
we all make mistakes
-Ashley Carver
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Comments: 30
the emotion is rather plain and blunt, which is good - people can easily relate to the piece.
however - the rhyming is a bit over-used. mad/bad/had? i would recommend trying to find more original rhyming schemes.
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yeah I know, this definitely isn't one of my best peices lol thanks for your comment
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You're welcome.
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Indeed beautifull, nicely written, very raw and to the point......
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you're welcome
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Ohh, this is a beautiful song! BUT: I found a spot where I thought the rhythm was a little off... "I can't cry anymore
I'm out of tears" I think it would sound better as "I'm all out of tears" but that's just me. Great work, bravo!
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i appreciate your opinion
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the ending is so amazing. "we all make mistakes" so true and thought provoking.
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thank you very much
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thank you
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