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Description
"So then I walk up to the door and I'm wearing one of those Hawaiian T-shirts and hats you always see those fat tourists wearing."

"Oh, God, that's hilarious!"

"And she opens up the door and she just stares. Like she can't understand what's going on."

"The outfit probably spooked her, too."

"Ha HA! Must have. Heh heh. So she stares at me for a few seconds. Then I hold up my gun."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I just shot her in the stomach. Crippled her for life."

"HA HA HA HA-HA HA HA!!! Oh God, I can't breathe. I can't--ha ha--I can't breathe. That's so priceless."

"Then I took her clothes off."

"You didn't."

"I did. And I took pictures. A lot of pictures. They must be splurged all over the internet by now."

"Hee hee. Ah that's great. That's wonderful. Oh, waiter! Bring us another round! Screw it, bring us two more rounds!"

"So."

"So?"

"What would you say is your defining moment in the life of your good guy?"

"Oh, that was a good day. You see, I had just recovered from a bout of amnesia. Only just recovered. And everything came flooding back to me. I remembered who all my enemies were, especially him, and I knew just how to hurt him. In the most painful way possible."

"What did you do?"

"I kidnapped his girlfriend. They were so madly in love."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh."

"I took her the top of the George Washington Bridge, kicking and screaming."

"Yeah? Yeah?"

"And I killed her."

"HA HA!!! HAHAHA-HA!"

"But it wasn't just that, you see. He knew I had taken her. So here he comes, swinging along, talking his hero talk. He doesn't even realize she's already dead. He charges, we fight, he goes for her."

"Then what?"

"I knocked her off the bridge."

"Oh my go--HA! Hee hee hee!"

"So he dives after her, shoots his little webs. He catches her by her foot...and breaks her neck."

"That's...that's...awesome!"

"I never told him she was already dead before he even got there. The guilt must still be gnawing at him to this day."

"Oh, that's genius. That is just pure genius. What did he do?"

"He killed me."

"No way."

"I got better. Now I'm practically running the world and he's a fugitive from the law."

"How's that workin' for ya? Running the world?"

"Honestly? It's a blast."

"Yeah. I stole the power of an interdimensional wizard and became Emperor of the universe for a while."

"I remember that. Good times. Oh, wow, is that the time?"

"That is the time."

"I have to get going. Things to do, worlds to run. You understand."

"Of course. Same time next week?"

"Sure. But let's find another place to hang out. This one's got too many corpses smelling up the place."

Two men stood up from the table and strode out of the bar, stepping over the mass of bodies strewn all over the floor. They shook hands and departed.

The sounds of nightmarish, insane laughter filled the night.

The Green Goblin and The Joker are (c) Marvel Comics and DC Comics, respectively.

Description
"So then I walk up to the door and I'm wearing one of those Hawaiian T-shirts and hats you always see those fat tourists wearing."

"Oh, God, that's hilarious!"

"And she opens up the door and she just stares. Like she can't understand what's going on."

"The outfit probably spooked her, too."

"Ha HA! Must have. Heh heh. So she stares at me for a few seconds. Then I hold up my gun."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything. I just shot her in the stomach. Crippled her for life."

"HA HA HA HA-HA HA HA!!! Oh God, I can't breathe. I can't--ha ha--I can't breathe. That's so priceless."

"Then I took her clothes off."

"You didn't."

"I did. And I took pictures. A lot of pictures. They must be splurged all over the internet by now."

"Hee hee. Ah that's great. That's wonderful. Oh, waiter! Bring us another round! Screw it, bring us two more rounds!"

"So."

"So?"

"What would you say is your defining moment in the life of your good guy?"

"Oh, that was a good day. You see, I had just recovered from a bout of amnesia. Only just recovered. And everything came flooding back to me. I remembered who all my enemies were, especially him, and I knew just how to hurt him. In the most painful way possible."

"What did you do?"

"I kidnapped his girlfriend. They were so madly in love."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh."

"I took her the top of the George Washington Bridge, kicking and screaming."

"Yeah? Yeah?"

"And I killed her."

"HA HA!!! HAHAHA-HA!"

"But it wasn't just that, you see. He knew I had taken her. So here he comes, swinging along, talking his hero talk. He doesn't even realize she's already dead. He charges, we fight, he goes for her."

"Then what?"

"I knocked her off the bridge."

"Oh my go--HA! Hee hee hee!"

"So he dives after her, shoots his little webs. He catches her by her foot...and breaks her neck."

"That's...that's...awesome!"

"I never told him she was already dead before he even got there. The guilt must still be gnawing at him to this day."

"Oh, that's genius. That is just pure genius. What did he do?"

"He killed me."

"No way."

"I got better. Now I'm practically running the world and he's a fugitive from the law."

"How's that workin' for ya? Running the world?"

"Honestly? It's a blast."

"Yeah. I stole the power of an interdimensional wizard and became Emperor of the universe for a while."

"I remember that. Good times. Oh, wow, is that the time?"

"That is the time."

"I have to get going. Things to do, worlds to run. You understand."

"Of course. Same time next week?"

"Sure. But let's find another place to hang out. This one's got too many corpses smelling up the place."

Two men stood up from the table and strode out of the bar, stepping over the mass of bodies strewn all over the floor. They shook hands and departed.

The sounds of nightmarish, insane laughter filled the night.

The Green Goblin and The Joker are (c) Marvel Comics and DC Comics, respectively.