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attackbeaver — A Man Destoryed
Published: 2006-11-27 21:00:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 79; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description A man Destroyed

I come to you
A man destroyed

I once knew life,
But was taught joy

And realized the pain
That is my shadow.

So I come to you,
The one who taught

Seeking the joy
You once shared

To return the life
To a man destroyed.
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Comments: 15

sethnuva [2006-11-29 04:29:56 +0000 UTC]

hmm not bad... i have no criteque to give...probably cause im lazy... im going to read it once more and see if i can see what it's about...


...hmm still kind of foggy to me... it's very vauge but... my geuss is that the man was normal in his life but then he learned joy, he also learned that with that joy also comes pain... when he learnded this he tried to escape the pain and he ended up destroying him self...

I might be wrong but that was my jab at it... still quite good for a first poem...tell me what you think of my assumption

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attackbeaver In reply to sethnuva [2006-11-29 18:28:18 +0000 UTC]

Nope, the man already knew pain. He had a crappy life and never realized how much it hurt until he learned joy. Which was taken away from him. Thus he is left with only the pain, of which he is now fully aware.

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sethnuva In reply to attackbeaver [2006-11-29 21:09:12 +0000 UTC]

ok that makes sense... reminds me of the song pain by three days grace

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attackbeaver In reply to sethnuva [2006-12-01 20:27:45 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, it kinda does...

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sethnuva In reply to attackbeaver [2006-12-02 20:47:05 +0000 UTC]

i like that song it makes me feel all happy inside...

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attackbeaver In reply to sethnuva [2006-12-04 20:47:45 +0000 UTC]

... anyway...

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EmotionalNeko [2006-11-28 17:10:50 +0000 UTC]

Aww! *puts away fork and knife and walks away saddly* ... jk

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attackbeaver In reply to EmotionalNeko [2006-11-29 18:20:38 +0000 UTC]

NEVER SHOW HESITATION!

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EmotionalNeko In reply to attackbeaver [2006-11-29 19:57:09 +0000 UTC]

*turns around and takes fork out of head * fine i won't *stabs in back with millions of sporks*

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attackbeaver In reply to EmotionalNeko [2006-11-29 20:08:40 +0000 UTC]

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EmotionalNeko In reply to attackbeaver [2006-11-30 19:56:35 +0000 UTC]

indeed...ee...

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namteor [2006-11-28 08:57:30 +0000 UTC]

sure there's always room for improvement but it's good so I'm waiting for more

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attackbeaver In reply to namteor [2006-11-29 18:20:02 +0000 UTC]

I'll work on it... must stay up to 2 again...

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Rokou [2006-11-28 00:52:25 +0000 UTC]

It's not too bad, I'm a terrible poetry critic, I blow at it bad.

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attackbeaver In reply to Rokou [2006-11-29 18:15:52 +0000 UTC]

Join the club. I blows at it too.

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