HOME | DD

AuthenticLogic β€” Bad Water
Published: 2006-11-29 04:51:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 102; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description As I take a sip of water,
I see my life before me
Primitive beings
We say
Chipping stones for weapons
To eat, to kill
Nothing more

Another sip shows what follows
Vast empires rise and fall
One corner reaches another
And a third soon is found

Feeling thirsty, a third sip to quench
Black smoke billows up
The skies shine through carcasses
And lives are taken for fun
Yet none keep more than one
As the rest are tossed aside
Into oblivion

I refuse to take another sip
For the glass is indeed full of
Bad water

Bad water to bitter the taste
Bad water to swallow with a wince
Bad water to corrupt when ingested
Bad water to fool the mouth-
It actually tasted quite good

The bad water has been chosen, taken from the shelf
There is no way out

Keep drinking, and drink slowly
It is how the poison works

Taste the sweet, sweet sanctity
Slowly slipping
Sadly seeping
Dripping dropping
Down the drain of demise
Destined to die

Drip
Rip
Drip
Drop
Don’t
Let
The flow
Stop and
The bad
Wa-ter
Will keep
You up
Until
The flow
Decides
To
Stop

In the lightest of days
And the greatest of all times
There always exists a well
A well which contains
Bad water
Be sure to bring a bucket
Related content

[ TEXT ]


AuthenticLogic - Fault Lines

AuthenticLogic - Blissful End
Comments: 8

SenselessDancer [2006-12-27 01:57:13 +0000 UTC]

Your poetry patterns are quite intriguing and excellent in creating visual images. I especially like stanza 8, as the alliteration creates the dripping sensation. The written pattern and breakup of the words in stanza 9, takes on the pattern of the flowing water.

Actually, your poem reminded me of the Oracles in Greece, and the stories behind their clairvoyance. A beautiful peice.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

AuthenticLogic In reply to SenselessDancer [2006-12-27 02:20:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much, for reading it and for commenting.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SenselessDancer In reply to AuthenticLogic [2006-12-27 23:31:56 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

sweet-Diablo [2006-12-07 18:05:58 +0000 UTC]

I think the first half was a bit...slow. But certain parts I really liked, like
"I refuse to take another sip
For the glass is indeed full of
Bad water"

Really nice.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

AuthenticLogic In reply to sweet-Diablo [2006-12-08 03:43:54 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for your realistic critique. I myself wasn't to impressed with the start...but it gets across what I wish it to.
Thank you for your time.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Arethoes [2006-11-29 22:07:49 +0000 UTC]

Nice.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Atticus1337 [2006-11-29 07:32:42 +0000 UTC]

Did somebody say The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion??



But a good job, anyways.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

AuthenticLogic In reply to Atticus1337 [2006-11-29 07:45:35 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I wrote that WAY before Elder Scrolls IV.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0