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awesomesauce — gift that giving keeps
Published: 2004-06-07 12:52:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 160; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 32
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Description feeling the line
look over the edge
knowing the outcome
dreamng the solution
drowning in tears

no one can hear her screaming,
cuz they have their fingers in their ears
no one sees her dying
in her invisible cloak
if she hides from the world
why is she sad when it doesnt care...

she keeps picking up pennies
      under ladders
               over the black cats
                      on the railroad tracks

...and doesnt make a sound...
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awesomesauce - arm+finger - foot+toe
Comments: 16

chaian [2004-06-11 02:37:14 +0000 UTC]

it's good... your structure has a way of carrying pace with it which is amazing. and as usual you've captured such abstract feelings in your words.
'feeling the line
look over the edge
knowing the outcome
dreamng the solution
drowning in tears'
that's beautiful... i do however think you should invest in a spell checker - everything improved except for that!

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awesomesauce In reply to chaian [2004-06-11 02:56:39 +0000 UTC]

HAHAHA thnx,,...

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aperfectfailure [2004-06-08 15:34:59 +0000 UTC]

i love this poem of urs! its so incredibly beautiful... i love the use of all the superstitions in the end... and i love the way it flows!!

without a doubt!! u rawk!

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awesomesauce In reply to aperfectfailure [2004-06-08 16:27:28 +0000 UTC]

OMGWTFBBQ THNX!!!!

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lovelorn [2004-06-08 06:39:29 +0000 UTC]

she keeps picking up pennies
under ladders
over the balck cats
on the railroad tracks
That is beautiful.


over the balck cats.... didnt you mean black...

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awesomesauce In reply to lovelorn [2004-06-08 16:29:47 +0000 UTC]

hehe thnx... oops... sorreh, hooked on phonix hasnt come in the mail yet

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lovelorn In reply to awesomesauce [2004-06-11 03:49:44 +0000 UTC]

hookd on foniks helpt meh lern sooo much at skool

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moretolifethanthis [2004-06-08 01:25:09 +0000 UTC]

nvm actually that deserve a standing ovation

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awesomesauce In reply to moretolifethanthis [2004-06-08 16:43:41 +0000 UTC]

hahahahah.....

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moretolifethanthis [2004-06-08 01:24:24 +0000 UTC]

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awesomesauce In reply to moretolifethanthis [2004-06-08 16:42:10 +0000 UTC]

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Srfgurl5 [2004-06-07 15:33:05 +0000 UTC]

I MENT
"if she hides from the world
why is she sad when it doesnt care..." ya

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Srfgurl5 [2004-06-07 15:25:55 +0000 UTC]

ya

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gabo-the-baka [2004-06-07 13:16:17 +0000 UTC]

i like the end..very nice use of imagery

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awesomesauce In reply to gabo-the-baka [2004-06-07 13:20:25 +0000 UTC]

HEY YOU!!!!!!thnx,.. long time

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gabo-the-baka In reply to awesomesauce [2004-06-07 13:28:05 +0000 UTC]

i know!!!!!!!! i havent been able to go online in a while.. im in school right now. only 2 days left and im out!!!!!!

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